What's My Line, Part 2
This episode was originally broadcast on November 24, 1997. Transcribed by: AleXander Thompson
~~~~~~~~~~ Prologue ~~~~~~~~~~
In every generation there is a Chosen One. She alone will stand against the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. She is the Slayer.
Buffy: (out of breath) Okay, one more time. You're the who?!
Kendra: I'm de Slayer.
Buffy: Nice cover story. But here's a tip: you might wanna try it on someone who's not the real Slayer.
Kendra: Ya can't stop me! Even if ya kill me, anodder Slayer will be sent to take me place.
Buffy: Could you stop with the Slayer thing? I'm the damn Slayer!
Kendra: Nonsense! Dere is but one, and I am she.
Buffy: Okay, (sniffs) a scenario. (holds up her hand) You back off, I'll back off, but you promise not to go all wiggy until we can go to my Watcher and figure this out.
Buffy: You know. No kick-o, no fight-o?
Kendra considers the offer a moment, then relaxes her stance and crosses her arms.
Kendra: I accept your scenario.
Buffy: So. You were sent here?
Kendra: Yes, by my Watcher.
Buffy: To do what, exactly?
Kendra: To do my duty. I am here to kill vampires.
Cut to the back room at Willy's bar. The camera pans from the window over to the cage. The sunlight has advanced past the cage door and is only about three feet from the far wall. Angel is crouched in the far corner, cowering and afraid. He looks up at the light coming through the window.
Opening credits roll. Buffy's theme plays.
~~~~~~~~~~ Part 1 ~~~~~~~~~~
Kendra: Yes, sir.
Giles: We've never met, but he, he's, he's very well-respected.
Buffy: What, so he's a real guy? As in non-fictional?
Giles: And you are called...?
Kendra: I am de Vampire Slayer.
Buffy: We got that part, hon. He means your name.
Buffy: (haughty) Can you say 'stuck in the 80's'?
Willow: (greets them) Hey!
Kendra: Identify yourself!
Willow is taken aback and her smile fades to a frown.
Buffy: Yeah. As in person you hang with? Amigo?
Kendra: I don't understand.
Kendra: And you allow dis, sir?
Giles: Well, uh...
Kendra: But de Slayer must work in secret for security.
Buffy: Apparently there's been a really big mix-up.
Giles: Uh, it seems somehow that, uh, another Slayer has been sent to Sunnydale.
Willow: Is that even possible? I mean, two Slayers at the same time?
Buffy: I was only gone for a minute.
Kendra: She died?
Buffy: Just a little.
Giles: She drowned, but she was revived.
Willow: So there really are two of them!
Giles: It would seem so. This is completely unprecedented! I'm quite flummoxed. (sits)
Buffy: What's the flum? It's a mistake, she isn't supposed to be here, she goes home! (to Kendra) Look, no offense, I really don't mean this personally, but I'm not dead, and frankly having you around creeps me out just a little bit.
Kendra: I cannot just leave. I was sent here for a reason. Mr. Zabuto said all de signs indicate dat a very dark power is about to rise in Sunnydale.
Buffy: (gets up) And what's your great plan for finding this dark power? You just gonna attack people randomly till you find a bad one?
Kendra: Of course not.
Buffy: Then why the hell did you attack me?
Kendra: I tought you were a vampire.
Kendra: I had good reason to tink you were. Did I not see you kissing a vampire?
Giles: No, no, no, he's, he's good now.
Willow: (smiles) Really!
Buffy: He had a gypsy curse.
Kendra: He has a what?
Buffy: Y'know what, just trust me on this one, okay? He's on the home team now.
Kendra: I cannot believe you. He looked to me just like anodder animal when I...
Buffy: When you what? (confronts her) What did you do to him?
Buffy: What did you do?!
Cut to the back room of Willy's bar. Angel leans against the back wall, weakened by the ambient light. Willy comes in and looks at him. He opens the cage door and walks in. He uses his body to shade Angel from the direct sunlight and drags him out of the cage and into another storage room. There he opens a hatch in the floor to the sewers below and drops Angel down into the shallow water. Angel is too weak to get up on his own. Willy lowers himself through the hatch and drops to the water, too. He's unhappy about the fact that his shoes have just been ruined. Spike walks into the light from the shadows.
Willy: There you go, friend. He'll be as good as new in a day or so.
Willy: Uh, hey, wai-wait. We had a deal, right?
Willy: Oh, yeah. Like a brother.
Spike slaps him across the cheek.
Spike: Talk and I'll have your guts for garters.
Willy: Wild horses couldn't drag it.
Spike holds up the last bill, crumbles it and drops it into the water.
Spike: Oops! Sorry, friend.
Willy: What are you gonna do with him anyway?
Spike: I'm thinkin' maybe dinner and a movie. I don't want to rush into anything. I've been hurt, you know.
He follows his goons down the sewer. Willy counts his money again.
Cordelia: Do you have anything in raisin? I know you wouldn't think so, but I'm both a winter and a summer.
Norman: Nine ninety-nine, tax included.
Cordelia: You said that already. Do you have anything in the berry family?
Norman: Are there more ladies in the house?
Cordelia: Oh, no, they're not home. (faces him) You know, nothing personal, but maybe you should look into selling dictionaries, or... some...
Xander: Hey, what's up?
Cordelia: Um, he's a salesman, and he was just leaving, right? Uh, okay! Buh-bye! Thank you!
Xander: Time to run!
He breaks into a run, guiding Cordelia away with him as Norman transforms into a mass of mealworms. They quickly crawl across the floor. Xander and Cordelia run into the kitchen for the back door, but Norman is already there, reassembled and waiting for them. Cordelia screams, and Xander grabs her hand and pulls her back into the hall. They open the door to the basement and hurry in, closing the door behind them. The mealworms try to come under the door, but they stomp on them.
Xander: Find something to cover the crack under the door!
He grabs a broom and sweeps the mealworms back under the door with it.
Cordelia: Uhh... (finds a roll of duct tape) Here! I don't do worms.
He gives her an exasperated look, grabs the roll from her and shoves the broom into her hands.
Xander: Cover me!
She sweeps at the mealworms while he pulls a length of tape off of the roll and sticks it to the bottom of the door.
Cordelia: Eww! Eh! Eh!
Kendra walks into the cage where she left him and looks around.
Kendra: No ashes.
Kendra: When a vampire combusts, he leaves ashes.
Buffy: Yeah, I know the drill.
Kendra: So I did not kill him.
Buffy: And I don't need to kill *you*.
Willy shows up at the door.
Willy: Whoa! There's a lotta tension in this room.
Kendra attacks him and pushes him out of the back room and onto the floor.
Buffy: Doesn't anyone just say 'hello' where you come from?
Kendra: Dis one is dirty! I can *feel* it!
Buffy: Where'd he go?
Willy: Uh, he said he was gonna stay underground. You know, recuperate.
Buffy: Are you telling me the truth?
Willy: I swear on my mother's grave! Should something fatal happen to her, God forbid.
Kendra: Den he is alright. We can return to your Watcher for our orders.
Kendra: No wonder you died.
Buffy: (ignores the comment) Let's go.
They start to leave. Willy steps away from the bar.
Willy: I, I have to ask. (the girls looks back) Has either of you girls considered modeling? I have a friend with a camera? Strictly high-class nude work. You know, art photographs. But naked.
Willy: You don't have to answer right away.
Drusilla: (moans) I was dreaming.
Spike: Of what, pet?
Drusilla: We were in Paris. You had a branding iron.
Spike: I brought you something.
He goes over to the stairs and picks Angel up from the landing.
Drusilla: And there were worms in my baguette.
Spike: (comes back to the bed) The one and only. Now all we need's the full moon tonight, and he will die, and you will be fully restored. (takes her hand, whispers) My black goddess. (kisses her hand) My ripe, (works his way up her arm) wicked plum. (raises his head) It's been...
They kiss passionately. Angel watches from the floor, all tied up and gagged. He strains against his bonds. They break off their kiss.
Spike: (smiles) Alright, you can play, but don't kill him. He mustn't die till the ritual.
Drusilla: Bring him to me.
Drusilla: You've been a very bad daddy.
She slaps him across the face. Angel is powerless to do anything.
~~~~~~~~~~ Part 2 ~~~~~~~~~~
Buffy: Oh, that'll be a treat.
Yes, well, I-I-I-I think that's the, uh, the dark power that your, your
Watcher re-referred to. You see, uh, you see Drusilla's
not only evil, she's, uh, well, she's also quite mad, and-and-and-and if
she's restored to her full health, then, uh, well, there's no,
Buffy: Ooo, good plan, let's go, charge!
Giles: Oh, really? W-w-which volume?
They exit the hall and walk along the colonnade.
Kendra: I believe it was six, sir.
Buffy: Um, how do you know all this?
Kendra: From me studies.
Buffy: So, obviously you have a lot of free time.
Willow: There's a Slayer handbook?
Buffy: Wait. Handbook? What handbook? How come I don't have a handbook?
Buffy: Well, what do you mean it would be of no use in my case? Wha- what's wrong with my case?
Giles: Uh, Kendra, um, perhaps you'd like to show me the, the part in, uh, Dramius Six where, uh, uh, where it refers to the Order of Taraka. Really, I-I, I seem to have never been able to get through that book. It was a bit stodgy.
Kendra: (smiles) It was difficult. All dose footnotes.
Buffy: (stops) Eee. Career fair.
Giles: Best make an appearance, I think.
Kendra: Riiight, of course. And I imagine she's a cheerleader as well.
Buffy: Yeah, but did you see how they were vibing? (mocks them) Volume six, ha, ha, ha!
Buffy: I wonder.
Willow: Of course, you will. You're *his* Slayer. The *real* Slayer.
Buffy: No. I wonder if it would be so bad, being replaced.
Willow: But not forever, right?
Buffy: No, Disneyland would get boring after a few months. But I could do other stuff. Career day stuff. Maybe I could even have a normal life.
Xander: Could you sit down, or change your pattern or something? You're making me queasy.
Cordelia: (leans on the washer) Because you're just sitting there. You should be thinking up a *plan*.
Cordelia: How will she even know where to find us?
Cordelia: Well, what if she doesn't? What am I supposed to do? Just waste away down here with you? Haw, haw, no thank you! (makes tracks for the stairs)
Xander: (gets up to stop her) What are you doin'?
Cordelia: (stops and faces him) Going to see if he's gone!
Xander: That's brilliant! What if he isn't?
Cordelia: Oh, right! You think we should just slack here and hope that somebody else *decides* to be a hero? (goes back to the washer) Sorry, forgot I was stranded with a LOSER! (leans and crosses her arms)
Xander: And yet I never forgot that I'm stuck with the numb-brain that let Mr. Mutant in the house in the FIRST PLACE!
Cordelia: HE LOOKED NORMAL!
Xander: What, is he supposed to have an arrow with the word 'assassin' over his head?! All it took was the prospect of a free makeover, and you licked his hand like a big, dumb dog!
Cordelia: You know what? (heads for the stairs again) I'm going.
Xander just raises his eyebrows, ready to let her go. She stops at the foot of the stairs and faces him again.
Cordelia: I'd rather be worm food than look at *your* pathetic face!
Xander: Then go! I'm not stopping ya!
Cordelia: I bet you wouldn't! I bet you'd let a girl go off to her doom all by herself!
Xander: Not just any girl. (nods) You're special.
Cordelia: I can't believe that I'm stuck spending what will probably be my last few moments on Earth here WITH YOU!
Xander: I *hope* these are my last few moments! Three more seconds with you, and I'm gonna... (steps closer)
Cordelia: (steps closer) I'm gonna what? Coward!
Cordelia: I *hate* you!
Xander: I HATE YOU!
They look at each other for another second before grabbing each other and engaging in a mad, passionate kiss. It goes on for several seconds before they suddenly release each other and look at each other in surprise.
Xander: We *so* need to get outta here.
Cordelia: (nods) Mm-hm!
She rushes up the stairs with Xander right behind. They stop at the top, crouch down and give each other anxious looks. Xander grabs one end of the tape and pulls it off. There aren't any worms on the other side. Xander moves the broom aside and opens the door slowly. They both look out into the hall for any sign of the mealworms.
Cordelia: He's gone.
Xander steps out and peeks around the corner down the hall to the dining room. The coast looks clear, so Xander makes a dash for the front door. Cordelia follows a moment later, and when she comes through the dining room door mealworms begin falling onto her from the ceiling. She screams as they fall on her en masse and runs for the door. Cut outside. Xander throws the door open and dashes into the front yard. Cordelia follows him out, screaming.
Xander turns to look.
Cordelia: Get 'em off!
He runs for the hose.
Cordelia: (terrified) Get 'em off of me! Oh, my God, get 'em off me! (screams)
Xander grabs the hose and starts spraying the mealworms off of her. She keeps screaming and turns her back to him, then her front again. He keeps spraying as she tries to brush them off. She turns around again to let him spray her back again and reaches down the back of her dress to get some mealworms out. She turns back around.
He keeps spraying her in spite of her protests.
Cordelia: Okay! Let's go!
She runs for her car. Xander follows her with the hose for another instant, then drops it and follows her. Cut to a close-up of her license plate, "QUEEN C". She floors it, and they burn rubber into the street. Further down the block she screeches round the corner.
Buffy: My tests say that I should look into law enforcement -- duh! -- and environmental design.
Willow: Environmental design. That's landscaping, right?
Buffy: I checked the 'shrub' box. But landscaping was yesterday, so law enforcement it is.
Oz gets up and starts to walk over.
Buffy: Really? Then why is he on his way over here right now?
Willow is surprised when she sees him coming.
Buffy: Told you! (makes a discreet exit)
Willow: (smiles) Hey! (notices) Your hair! Is brown!
Oz: Oh, yeah, sometimes. So, uh, did you decide? Are you gonna be a Corporate Computer Suit Guy?
Willow: Oh. Uh, well, I-I think I'm gonna finish high school first. What about you?
Oz: I'm not really a computer person, you know. Or a work of any kind person.
Willow: They why'd they select you?
Oz: Oh, I sorta test well. Y'know, which is cool. E-except that it leads to jobs.
Willow: Well, don't you have some ambition?
Oz: Oh, yeah! Yeah. E-flat, diminished ninth.
Oz: Well, the E-flat, it's, it's doable, but that diminished ninth, y'know, it's a man's chord. Now, you could lose a finger.
Willow nods, pretending to understand.
Buffy raises her hand. Patrice calmly
puts the clipboard back down. Quickly she draws her gun and aims it at Buffy. Buffy reacts
in a flash and pushes the recruiter's hands and weapon up into the air
as the first
round goes off. Panic sets in throughout the hall, and people start to
run and duck for cover. Buffy keeps
struggling with the officer, and another round goes into the ceiling. She
knees her in the gut, and she
drops the gun and falls to the floor. Buffy starts to run as Patrice
Buffy: GET DOWN!
Oz: LOOK OUT!
He lunges for Willow and
pulls her to the floor with him, but takes the next bullet meant for Buffy in
the arm. Patrice keeps following Buffy with
her gun and shoots off the cranium of a skeleton. Buffy has
disappeared down the hall, and the police recruiter carefully makes her
way to the wall to peek around it down the hall. She doesn't see her, but
senses that she's there, and decides to go to the other end of the wall
to come around the other side. The camera pans to the other side
where Buffy is leaning against the wall, breathing hard and waiting for Patrice to make her next move. When she is about to come around the
Buffy: How is he?
Oz: I, uh, I'm shot! (takes his hand away briefly and chuckles) Y'know. (laughs) Wow! It's odd! And painful.
Kendra: She's gone.
Jonathan: W-was that a demonstration?
Buffy looks around at the scene.
Willow: The paramedic said it was only a scrape. Thank goodness.
Buffy: Down, girl!
Xander: Who sponsored career day today? The British Soccer Fan Association?
Giles: (on his way to the table) We had a, a rather violent visit from the Order of Taraka.
Cordelia: (heads for the table) Hi. Nice to meet you.
Xander: Welcome. So! You're a Slayer, huh? I like that in a woman.
Kendra: (nervous) Uh... I hope... I tank you... I mean, sir, um... I will be of service.
Cordelia finds a mealworm in her hair and freaks out. She drops it onto a book on the table and gets up.
Cordelia: Uhh! Uhh! Ohmigod, I'm showering! (runs from the library)
Xander: (indicates the mealworm) Like that.
Xander: No, but this dude was completely different than praying mantis lady. He was a man *of* bugs, not a man who *was* a bug.
He slams the biology book shut on the mealworm to kill it and sits down.
Giles: The, uh, the-the-the important thing is everybody's alright. Still, it's quite apparent that we're under serious attack.
And, uh, I fear the worst is still to come. I've, I-I've discovered the
remaining keys to Drusilla's cure. The, uh, the ritual
Buffy suddenly looks very concerned.
Kendra: The new moon. But that is tonight.
Xander: Man, that guy got major neck in his day!
Willow slaps him hard on the shoulder.
Buffy: Will this ritual kill him?
Giles: Yes, I'm afraid it will.
Buffy: We need to find this church. We need to find where this ritual is gonna take place!
Giles: Agreed, and we must work quickly. (checks his watch) We have five hours before sundown.
Buffy: Look, you've got your priorities, and I've got mine. Right now they mesh. So, are you gonna help me, or are you gonna get out of my way?
Kendra: (considers) I'm wit you.
~~~~~~~~~~ Part 3 ~~~~~~~~~~
Drusilla's room. She runs her hand across the lid of an elegant wooden box labeled 'Holy Water'. She sings quietly as she lifts the lid and takes out a small crystal pitcher.
She kneels next to him. Angel is tied to the posts of her canopy bed by both wrists high above his head.
Drusilla: She said she loved the way they made her mouth... (runs her hand down and up his chest) tingle. Little Anne.
She lets some of the holy water trickle onto his chest. It steams and burns like acid. Angel jerks his head back in pain and stifles a scream.
Drusilla: Her favorite was custard... brandied pears.
She reaches over his shoulder and lets more holy water dribble onto his chest. Again Angel grits his teeth in pain, but won't let himself scream out loud.
Drusilla: Remember? Hmm? Little fingers. Little hands. Do you?
Angel: (shivering in pain) If I could...
Drusilla: (interrupts angrily) Bite your tongue! They used to eat cake, and eggs, and honey. (sweetly) Until you came and ripped their throats out.
She pours the rest of the holy water onto his chest, and Angel screams out loud in agony.
Cut to the library. Giles comes out of the stacks and heads toward the stairs with a large volume full of pictures. Willow is sitting on the steps websurfing on her laptop. He looks down at her screen and sits down next to her.
Giles: There are forty-three churches in Sunnydale? (pulls out a roll of mints) That seems a little excessive. (tears off some wrapping)
Willow: It's the extra evil vibe from the Hellmouth. Makes people pray harder.
Giles: Well, check and see if any of them are closed or abandoned.
Xander: Yeah, yeah, we got monsters, we got demons, but no bug dude or police lady.
Giles sets the volume down in front of them and opens it.
Giles: Well, you should have better luck with this one. There's a whole section devoted to the Order of Taraka.
Kendra: And dose two, dey also know you are de Slayer?
Kendra: Did anyone explain to you what 'secret identity' means? (goes to the desk)
Kendra: Please. I'm an expert in all weapons.
Giles: Is everything alright?
Kendra: Sorry! Dis, uh, trigger mechanism is different. (sets the bow down) Perhaps when dis is over you can, uh, show me how to work it.
Cut to the main room. Xander turns the page and finds a drawing of the bug dude.
Xander: Oh, here we go! I am the bug man, coo coo ka choo.
Cordelia: I know what it means, *dorkhead*.
Xander: (takes mock offense) Dorkhead! You slash me with your words!
Cut to the office. Kendra is handling a stake.
Kendra: Your life is very different dan mine.
Buffy: You mean the part where I occasionally have one? Yeah, I guess it is. (carves at a stake)
Kendra: De tings you do and have, I was taught, distract from my calling. Friends, school... even family.
Buffy: Even family?
Kendra: My parents, dey sent me to my Watcher when I was very young.
Buffy: How young?
Kendra: I don't remember dem, actually. I've seen pictures. But, uh, dat's how seriously de calling is taken by my people. My modder and fadder gave me to my Watcher because dey believed dat dey were doing de right ting for me, and for de world. (puts down the stake and gets a sympathetic look from Buffy) Please, I don't feel sorry for meself. Why should you?
Buffy: I don't know, I... I guess it just sounds very lonely.
Kendra: (picks up her knife) Maybe. For you. But I prefer to keep an even mind. (wipes the blade)
Buffy: (puts down her knife) Mm. I guess that explains it.
Kendra: Explains what?
Buffy: (plays with the stake) Oh, well, when we were fighting, uh, you're amazing! Your technique, it's flawless, it's, hmm, better than mine.
Kendra: I know.
Buffy: Still, I woulda kicked your butt in the end. And ya know why? No imagination.
Kendra: (rubs her blade more vigorously) Really? Ya tink so? (puts down the rag)
Buffy: Oh, I know so. You're good, but power alone isn't enough. A good fighter needs to know how to improvise, to go with the flow. Uh-uh, seriously, don't get me wrong, y-you really do have potential. (puts away the stake)
Kendra: (holds her knife ready) Potential? I could wipe de floor wit you right now!
Buffy: You feel it, right? How the anger gives you fire? A Slayer needs that.
They both look over at Xander as he walks into the office.
Xander: Excuse me, ladies.
Xander: Nice knife. (leaves the office)
Buffy: I'm guessing dating isn't big with your Watcher either.
Kendra: I'm not permitted to speak with boys.
Buffy: Unless you're pummeling them. (has a realization) Wait a minute.
Buffy: That guy! The sleazoid you nearly decked in the bar.
Kendra: You tink he might help us?
Buffy: I tink we might make him!
Drusilla: Say 'Uncle'. (lowers the pitcher) Oh, that's right, you killed my uncle.
She is about to pour some onto his chest again when Spike comes in.
Drusilla: (stands up) It makes pretty colors.
Spike: Pft! I'll see him die soon enough. I've never been much for the pre-show.
Spike: What's that supposed to mean? (steps over to the other bond)
Angel: Ask her. She knows what I mean.
Angel: You shoulda let me talk to him, Dru. Sounds like your boy could use some pointers. She likes to be teased.
Spike has finished untying the other bond and throws it to the floor.
Spike: Keep your hole shut! (stands over him)
Spike: I said SHUT UP!
He grabs Angel by the throat, lifts him to his feet and holds him against the bedpost.
Angel: Or maybe you two just don't have the fire we had.
Spike: That's enough.
Spike: Oh! Right. Right, you almost got me! Aren't you a 'throw himself to the lions' sort of sap these days. Well, the lions are on to you, baby. See, if I kill you now you go quick, and Dru hasn't got a chance. And if Dru dies your little Rebecca of Sunnyhell Farm and all her mates are spared her coming-out party. (squeezes Angel's throat)
Buffy: What about this ritual? What have you heard?
Willy: N-nothing! I-it's all hush-hush!
Willy: You know, m-maybe I did hear something about this ritual. Yeah, i-i... I-it's coming back to me. But, uh, I'd have to take you there.
Buffy: Let's go. (starts to drag him out of the bar)
Kendra: First we must return to de Watcher.
Kendra: But it is procedure.
Kendra: Is dat all you're worried about? Your boyfriend?
Buffy: (stops again) No, it's not all, but it's enough.
Kendra: It's as I feared. He clouds your judgment. We can't stop dis ritual alone!
Buffy: Are you listening to me? He could die!
Kendra: He's a vampire. He *should* die. Why am I de only person who sees it?
Kendra: Are you dat big a fool?
Kendra: (exhales) Good riddance, den.
Cut to the church. Cut inside. Willy leads her down an arched hallway.
They round a corner, and Patrice and a vampire are waiting there for them.
Norman and another vampire block her escape from behind.
~~~~~~~~~~ Part 4 ~~~~~~~~~~
The nave of the church. Spike walks up the main aisle from the altar with a burning incense censer.
Spike: Eligor. I name thee. Bringer of war, poisoners, pariahs, grand obscenity.
Spike: Eligor, wretched master of decay, bring your black medicine.
Drusilla: Black medicine.
Spike sets the censer down on the altar and picks up the Du Lac Cross with his gloved hand.
Spike: Come. (holds up the cross upside-down) Restore your most impious, murderous child.
Drusilla: Murderous child.
He grabs the downward-pointing tip of the cross with his other hand and yanks down, pulling out a dagger. He lays the rest of the cross back on the altar.
Spike: From the blood of the sire she is risen.
Spike: From the blood of the sire, she shall rise again.
With one swift stroke Spike stabs the blade through their hands. Angel screams in agony. A blindingly bright pink light emanates from their wounds. A pulse of energy spreads out, and then the light dies back down to a faint glimmer as Angel's strength begins to ebb from him into Drusilla. She droops backward, feeling Angel's energy flow into her.
Spike: Right, then! Now we just let them come to a simmering boil, and remove to a low flame.
Willy: It's payday, pal. I got your Slayer.
Spike strides up the aisle to meet him.
Spike: (angry) Are you tripping?! You bring her here?! Now?!
Willy: You said you wanted her.
Spike: In the ground, pinhead! I wanted her dead.
Willy: Now, that's not what I heard. Word was there was a bounty on her dead or alive.
Spike: Yeah. (steps over to Buffy) It bugs me, too, seeing him like that. Another five minutes, though, and Angel will be dead, so... I forebear. Don't feel too bad for Angel, though, he's got something you don't have.
Buffy: (angry) What's that?
She lets go of Buffy and draws her gun. Buffy struggles to get loose from the vampire holding her. The other door suddenly bursts open, and Kendra comes in doing a series of backflips, ending in a flying double kick, one foot to the back of each of the vampire's heads. They fall to the floor, pushing Buffy into Spike and knocking him down. Kendra lands on her feet, ready to fight. She wastes no time running over to Spike as he gets up, meeting Buffy there to fight him.
Spike: Who the hell is this?!
Kendra grabs him by the shirt.
Kendra: Two Slayers! (decks him)
Buffy: No waiting! (jabs him)
Spike falls but quickly gets up. Buffy breaks off to fight Patrice, leaving Kendra to take care of Spike. He ducks a roundhouse kick from her. Buffy faces off with Patrice. She extends her arms down, and a blade slides out from each sleeve. One of the vampires gets up from the floor next to them and starts to reach for Buffy when a bolt impales him. He falls and turns to ashes while Giles looks on from the door, still holding the crossbow. Buffy and Patrice begin to fight hand-to- hand. Patrice thrusts one blade, then the other at Buffy, but she catches her arms and holds them up while she knees Patrice in the stomach. Buffy follows up with a kick to her face and sends her stumbling back into the wall. Spike lands a punch on Kendra, knocking her down, and she scrambles to avoid his follow-up kick. The other vampire gets up also, and Giles runs to engage him. He swings the crossbow at him, but the vampire grabs it, and they struggle over it. Giles swings at the vampire and hits him in the face. Willow jumps up onto his back and starts choking him with her arm. Xander spots Norman and taunts him.
Norman smiles and starts after him. Xander scrambles for the doors and carefully steps through as he closes them behind him to avoid stepping into the puddle of liquid adhesive Cordelia has poured there. She still has the bucket in her hand.
Xander: Welcome, my little pretties!
Norman comes under the door as a mass of mealworms. Back inside Giles punches the vampire twice while Willow keeps holding on. Kendra jumps
over Spike when he tries to knock her legs
out from under her. She tries another roundhouse kick, but he blocks it.
He uses the momentum of the
block to spin around and hit her again. Patrice gets back up and comes
Spike: I'd rather be fightin' you anyway.
Cordelia: Die! Die, die, die! Die!
Xander puts his hand on her lower back to calm her.
She drops the bucket and they run off. Inside, Buffy blocks a punch from Spike, and another, but then he lands punches to her stomach and face. She blocks his next swing and holds his arm while she punches him twice in the face. She grabs his coat and pulls him around and throws him over several pews and into the wall. Behind another pew Willy gets up. Spike growls as he stands back up and sees Willy trying to sneak out of the church. He rushes over and grabs him by the back of the neck.
Spike: Where are you going?
Willy: Now, there's a way in which this isn't my fault!
Spike: They tricked you.
Willy: Mm-hm! They were duplicitous!
Spike: Well, then I'll only kill you just this once. (goes for the bite)
Spike stops before biting Willy and looks over at her. He sees Buffy trying to untie them. He lets go of Willy and rushes over to the altar, grabs Buffy and shoves her to the floor. He backhand punches her as she gets back up, knocking her down again. Willy wastes no time running out of the church past Willow and Giles, who are still fighting the other vampire. Giles has him held back by both arms and Willow has a stake raised to kill him.
Willow: Hold him steady!
She plunges the stake into the vampire's heart and he bursts into ashes, leaving Giles all dusty. Xander and Cordelia run into the back of the nave as Willow pats the dust off of Giles. Patrice throws Kendra over a knocked-over pew and climbs over after her. She swings at Kendra twice, but misses both times when Kendra ducks. She swings again and this time slashes her in the arm. Kendra grabs her wound and looks down at it.
Kendra: Dat's me favrit shirt! Dat's me *only* shirt!
Now Kendra is really mad, and she kicks Patrice in the back of the knee, making her lose her balance. She grabs Patrice by the arm and throws her into a cabinet in front of the organ, smashing it to pieces and knocking her out. Kendra runs over to join the others. Spike takes a torch from its wall hanger and throws it into a pile of old drapes, setting them ablaze.
Xander: Look out!
Spike: Sorry, baby. Gotta go.
He lifts her into his arms and starts down the aisle.
Spike: Hope that was enough.
With nothing holding him up anymore Angel falls to the floor behind them. Buffy crawls over to him and sees Spike making his escape. She stands up and grabs the censer from the altar. She swings it around her head by its chain a few times and launches it at Spike. It hits him in the back of the head, and he stumbles into the church organ. The keyboard console collapses under his weight.
Buffy: I'm good!
A moment later the organ superstructure collapses onto Spike and Drusilla, with its huge brass pipes clanging and rolling everywhere. Buffy turns her attention back to Angel and helps him sit up. She cradles his head with her arm.
Buffy: (quietly) Hi.
Kendra: Let's get him out!
Angel moans as they begin to help him up.
With their help he gets to his feet. Kendra gets under his arm to support him. The others run out of the church as the three of them make their way up the aisle and out the other door. The wreckage of the organ has caught fire now, too.
Oz: Oh, hey! (offers the box) Animal cracker?
Willow: (smiles) No, thank you. How's your arm?
Oz: (tries to open the box) Suddenly painless.
Willow: You can still play the guitar okay?
Oz: Oh, not well, but not worse.
They start to walk down the hall. Willow takes the box from him to open it.
Willow: Y'know, I never really thanked you.
Willow: (smiles) Well, then forget that thing. E-especially with the part where I kind of owe you my life.
Oz: (pulls out a cookie and stops) Oh, look! Monkey! And he has a little hat. And little pants.
Willow: (smiles) Yeah, I-I see!
Oz: The monkey's the only cookie animal that gets to wear clothes, you know that?
Willow smiles brightly.
Oz: You have the sweetest smile I've ever seen.
Willow is surprised by the compliment.
Oz: (continues down the hall) So, I'm wondering, do the other cookie animals feel sorta ripped? Like, is the hippo going, 'Hey, man, where are *my* pants? I have my hippo dignity!'
Oz: And you know the monkey's just, (with a French accent) 'I mock you with my monkey pants!'
Willow laughs more.
Oz: And there's a big coup in the zoo.
Willow: The monkey is French?
Oz: All monkeys are French. You didn't know that?
Willow: No. (giggles)
Xander: We need to talk.
Cordelia rolls her eyes and crosses her arms as she goes into an empty classroom. Xander looks back and forth down the hall to make sure no one sees them going in together and follows her. He stands a distance away from her. They both fidget with their hands.
Xander: Okay, uh-uh-uh... here's the deal. We don't have to run every time we see each other in the hall.
Cordelia: Right. Okay. Why shouldn't we run?
Xander: What happened, there's a total explanation for it.
Cordelia: You're a pervert?
Xander: No-no-no-no! (takes a step closer) I seem to recall I was the jumpee, my friend!
Cordelia: As if! (takes a step closer) You've probably been planning this for months!
Cordelia: Fine! Whatever. (starts to leave, but steps back, closer) You know, the point is: don't try it again!
Xander: I didn't try it! (calms a bit) Forget about the bugs, okay? The memory of your lips on mine makes my blood run cold.
Cordelia: (steps closer) If you dare breathe a word of this...
Xander: Like I want anyone to know!
Cordelia: Then it's erased!
Xander: Never happened!
They stare into each other's eyes for a moment, and then grab each other in another mad, passionate kiss. This time they don't break off.
Kendra: Tank you for de shirt, it was very generous of you.
Buffy: Hey, it looks better on... well, me, but no worries. Now, when you get to the airport...
Kendra: I get on de plane with me ticket, and sit in a seat. Not de cargo hold.
Buffy: Very good.
Kendra: Dat is *not* traveling under cover.
Buffy: Exactly. Relax! You earned it. Sit in your seat, you eat your peanuts, you watch the movie, well, unless it's about a dog or Chevy Chase.
Kendra: I'll remember. (opens the cab door)
Kendra: Mm. Am not tellin' me Watcher about dat. It is too strange dat a Slayer loves a vampire.
Buffy: (smirks) Tell me about it.
Kendra: Still, he is pretty cute.
Buffy: Well, maybe they won't fire me for dating him.
Kendra: You always do dat.
Buffy: Do what?
Kendra: You talk about slaying like it's a job. It's not. It's who you are.
Buffy: Did you get that from your handbook?
Kendra: From you.
Buffy: I guess it's something I really can't fight. (smiles) I'm a freak.
Kendra: Not de only freak.
Buffy: Not anymore.
Kendra: I don't hug.
Buffy: Right. No. Good. Hate hugs.
Drusilla: Don't worry, dear heart.
She pulls him off of the floor and holds him up by his arm. His head just droops down.
Drusilla: I'll see that you get strong again.
She scoops up his legs with her other arm.
Drusilla: Like me!
Slowly she carries him from the charred remains of the church.