When Angels Fall

Part Six

FEEDBACK: Thank you for the feedback everyone! I really, really appreciate it! More please!!

LYRICS: All lyrics are from Pearl Jam.


i was bitten...must have been the devil...
he was just payin' me...
a little visit, a-reminding me of his presence...
lettin' me know...he's a-waitin' for me...

His memory of the place was dim, but he instinctively took tunnels, weaving through the dark to find the place he was seeking. After what seemed like miles of walking, Angelus turned into a large room that had once been a vampire lair. He moved through the large chamber and into a smaller one.

He lit candles around the room, after laying his captive on the bed. Vampires have excellent night vision, but he didn't need it here. He knew where they were in the room without looking. The chamber glowed in soft candle light, lighting up Buffy's still unconscious body. She was lying on a large bed in the center of the room, which was draped in luxurious silk bedclothes.

He crossed the room and pulled two silk scarves from a tri-fold shade in the far corner of the room. He used it to tie her hands to the bedposts, matching the knots in the places these silk pieces of material had been tied many, many times before. When he was done, he looked down to see that she was awake.

"Who's lair was this?" She asked quietly.

"Darla's," he said, smiling down at her. Buffy's eyes widened with the knowledge.


"Mmmm, yes," he said, seeming to cast away in memory for a moment, "She loved a view, you know. This wasn't her favorite place, but every vampire needs a little hideaway on the Hellmouth and this was hers."

"Why are we here? Why haven't you just killed me already?"

"Patience, baby," he said, "I couldn't very well go to the mansion where everyone could just stroll in and interrupt us again."

He lowered his head to whisper, "I don't like being interrupted."

"What are you going to do?"

"What's wrong, Buff? Don't like surprises?"

"Did you..." Buffy started, "Did Angel come here to see her?"

"My weakling half?" He said, sitting next to her on the bed and sweeping her body with his eyes, "He thought about it."

"But he didn't?"

"It amazes me how well you separate us," he said, finally touching her. He traced the curve of her arm with one finger, causing ripples of fear to run through her body.

"I love him," she said clearly, "I hate you."

He nodded his agreement and understanding as his caress made its way down her arm, across her torso, down her leg.

"Stop touching me," she sneered.

"Angel thought about coming here," he said wistfully, ignoring her, "He thought about her. He wanted to be safe with her again like we used to be. But she needed him to be evil. She wanted him to be me and he couldn't be."

"You could never be him," she said, shrinking away from his touch.

"You'd be surprised what we have in common, lover," he said, his eyes glowing darkly in the dim light.


even flow. thoughts arrive like butterflies.
he don't know so he chases them away.
someday yet he'll begin his life again.

Spike paced in his crypt. He should have fed already. There should be victims strewn on the streets with blood dripping from their broken necks. He wanted to do it, but he knew he had to think first. Had to stop and make a decision for once, instead of just acting.

He closed his eyes and thought about Buffy's blood in his mouth, rolling across his tongue, filling his body with a feeling that no blood ever had. Even The Slayer he drained so long ago didn't have Buffy potency and power. She was younger, weaker, less of a Slayer. But Buffy, she soaked up life in her veins, wove power into her body and the construction of her was created by a genius. He palpitated with the power of her.

He was debating inside his head and occasionally out loud as he thought about how to proceed. Should he go to Buffy and beg her forgiveness? What a sodding joke. She would never forgive him now, never trust him. He wanted to go out and become the big bad he knew he truly was but love still laid under his need for violence.

On top of every emotion, sitting high above everything else, was his deep, intense hatred for his Grand Sire. Now that he was back, Spike knew that Angelus wasn't about to let The Slayer win again. He wasn't going to waste his time playing around. They all thought they knew the weapon hidden inside the mind of The Scourge of Europe, but none of them had a bloody clue as to what the vampire was capable of. They had their books and notes about his violent acts of the past, they had their memories of the last time he was turned, but none of them had seen what Spike had seen.

Giles thought he was tortured by Angelus, but that was play time and Spike knew it. He had seen Angelus tear open bodies and leave them living while he braided their entrails. He saw victims held against his Grande Sire begging for their lives, handing over their greatest passions and secrets at his feet before breathing their last breath.

Spike knew that if he turned away, Buffy would die. Or Angelus would turn her. Even Spike felt a faintness of heart when he thought about her golden body turning pale, her vibrancy fading to grey, the life that blanketed all else in life turning into the abhorrence that he was. He loved being a creature of the night, enjoyed the power and strength and speed it provided. He loved blood - the taste, the texture. He didn't love the idea of Buffy becoming undead. He didn't love the idea of her dying.

And he hated himself for being a traitor to his brethren, but he would rather toss the Mona Lisa on a bonfire than know of her death. Nobody who knew Spike would have ever thought that he would still be deprived of being what his nature called him to be after the chip was rendered useless, or, having thought so, would not have had the nerve to say it out loud. But he turned and left his crypt again in search of his Grande Sire.


and now my bitter hands shake beneath the clouds,
of what was everything.
all the pictures have all been washed in black...
...tattooed everything.

Giles was in an absolute panic. He remembered what Angelus had done to himself and Jenny. He couldn't stand the thought of Buffy dying and the fear was eating him up inside. It was as if the doors of his nightmares had swung open and spilled into reality. He knew she was still alive. She had to be. He couldn't continue to function on a cognitive level if he didn't harbor the belief that she could still be saved.

He sat down on the couch before he fell on his hands and knees in total mental disarray and begged The Powers That Be for her life. He looked back on the time when he first became a Watcher, when he was first assigned to his charge. He didn't even like Buffy at first. To be accurate, he couldn't begin to understand her. Not only her speech, which took him years to master, but the way she thought, acted and carried out her fealty. Nothing the Watcher's Council trained him for could have ever prepared him for Buffy Summers. Everything they had told him about Slayers was not true in Buffy in some cases and exceptionally so in others.

Giles was holding his glasses loosely in his hands while the group tried to think of what to do next. They had searched all over town and come up empty handed. They had no idea where to look next and for all they knew, the pair were far from town by now. Thoughts in the room bounced off the walls, called out to each other and became entangled with the furniture as they struggled to come to some kind of plan.

"Spike," Xander said, sitting up in his chair and catching the attention of the room, "He has to know some place that Angel could have taken her."

Giles nodded and stood, "Capital plan, Xander."

Giles grabbed a crossbow and stuffed several vials of holy water in his pocket on the way out wearing Ripper's face. He was not going to let his Slayer die. Not again.


and i, i don't know if that's my imagination, but, umm...

Buffy's bruised body was crying out at every movement she was forced to make. Every moment she made was an attempt to dodge the advances of the soulless beast wearing her lover's face. As he undressed her, she refused to beg him to stop, instead she stared coldly at him with hatred, "What? So you're just going to rape me before you kill me?"

"No," he said, "I'm not going to force you."

"Oh, so you think I'm going to go along with this?"

"I think you're going to beg me for it," he taunted.

"Did you hear the part where I hate you?" She said through gritted teeth.

"I heard you, baby," he smoothed, "But I also felt you come around my cock when you knew damn well who was fucking you. It wasn't your precious boyfriend, it was me. Course, even it had been my other pathetic half, it would have been me sooner or later. Little caught up in this body, I think."

"Screw you," she retorted.



i sometimes realize...i could only be as good as you'll let me...

An arrow caught Spike in the shoulder blade and he spun around to face his attacker, yelling, "What the f-"

"That was a warning shot," Giles said with a mini army of Scoobies behind him.

"I was going to try and save the damn chit. You didn't have to bloody shoot me!" Spike yelled, yanking the arrow from his shoulder in irritation.

"Oh, I guess that's why you were clamped to her neck before," Xander spat, "You seemed so concerned with her life then."

"Look, I admit, I was tempted," Spike said, holding his hands up, "It's not like I bit her. She was already bleedin'."

"And that makes it okay?" Cordy yelled with her crossbow aimed at Spike's heart.

"Look, sod off," Spike shouted, "I'm going to find her, damn it. What the hell do you people want?"

"Where is he keeping her?" Wesley asked.

"I was going to check the mansion."

"Been there, done that," Cordy answered.

"I'll just check old haunts until I find them then."

"Great," Xander snorted, "While you're checking out all the wrong places, you can conveniently stall until your Sire kills Buffy."

"Why don't you just stake me then? You're wasting time!"


and now i rub my eyes...for he has returned...
seems my preconceptions are what should have been burned...
for he still smiles...and he's still strong...
nothing's changed, but the surrounding bullshit, that has grown...

Buffy was throwing away her resistance a little at a time as Angelus smoothed his hands over her body. He touched every part of her, gently, roughly, irritatingly well. It was almost as if he wanted to erase the memory of every touch before that wasn't his. He reached between her thighs and she tried to close them but he had already slipped inside rubbing her clit in slow, achingly slow circles.

"I don't get you," she said angrily, "What the hell are you doing?"

"Making you mine," he said, feeling her arousal increase with every movement.

"I'll never be yours," she shouted, struggling to keep herself from responding to his touch, to the touch that was performed by Angel's hands, controlled by Angelus.

"Yes, you will."

"You're going to have to kill me," she said, trying to keep the pant out of her words.

"I'll kill you," he promised, "Don't worry."


Part Seven

FEEDBACK: With the Oscars coming up, I thought I'd jot down my LONG note of thank yous in this section *g*:
Thank you to everyone who has fed me on this one!
Jenn - thanks for keeping me going & reminding me that you're reading.
Lela Rose, Hope, Peygan - thank you for always giving me the feedback I so desire. You guys are fantastic! I appreciate that you never let me down.
Thank you to everyone who have continually fed me on all my fics - Dark Rhiannon, akeleven, Lauren, Nameless Angel, Ellie, Ryan, Eleni Angel, Sharon, Susan K, Valentina, Jill, Specks. Sorry to anyone I missed - I appreciate you all. Feedback makes all the difference in the world when it comes to writing this smut.
Thank you to Eleni Angel & Starrkitty for housing my stories!


and, i can still fantasize, but i keep it to myself...
keep it to myself...keep it to myself...

Spike sent the Scoobies on miscellaneous missions around Sunnydale to check on crypts, dives and other places that Angelus could possibly be, while he sought out the only place he thought he might actually go. Darla's crypt, adjacent from the Master's main hall, was a little room he had only been inside once. He shivered when he thought about Darla and the pain she could dole out. She looked fragile and feminine, but one glance into her maniacal eyes, and any vampire with a half a brain would run in the opposite direction or drop to his knees.

That's why Angelus was always her perfect mate. He was the only vampire who could stand her torture, who could make her cry out and beg for more. They spent 150 years manipulating each other and trading the upper hand. 150 years were celebrated between the two, causing other vampires to cower in fear from the power they possessed. With a bloodline directly from the Master, they were unstoppable until the gypsy curse.

That was the moment that Spike saw his freedom looming ahead. It took a decade to get Drusilla to separate herself from her "grandmummy" but once that happened, Spike was able to live the life he wanted, reek the havoc he craved, have his mate to himself. As he crept through the tunnels, visions of Angelus fucking his mate struck his memories. If he lived a thousand more years, he would not forget the sight of Dru on her knees sucking his Grande Sire's cock, pledging her devotion to him, pleading with him to hurt her just a little bit more.

Spike entered the Master's main hall and stood there, looking around and listening for a moment. He heard loud breathing and turned in that direction. He knew the sound came from Buffy, that she was still alive for now. For the second time, he was peeking around a doorway, looking in on his love and Grande Sire. His eyes widened at what he saw and he tried to keep a cry from sounding out loud from his throat.


he had deciphered the illusion, trading magic for fact

Giles had spent long years burying the memories of what he had done as his more reckless alter ego, Ripper, but today he let it take over his body. He had made Spike and the rest of the gang think that he was going to a couple of crypts on the east side of town, but instead he followed Spike. Ripper was certain that Spike knew more than he was letting on and that the blonde vampire would lead him directly to his Slayer.

He followed along the dark tunnels keeping silent as he walked along, waiting for his human eyes to become accustomed to the dark. He tread silently behind the vampire, keeping a safe distance so that hopefully, he wouldn't smell or hear him.

When he entered the Master's main chamber, buried far beneath the city, in a church that had fallen below so long before, he felt an icy chill sweep his body. He had never been here but he knew that this was where Buffy had died. This was where she had first lost her life and consequently, a great part of her innocence. The rest of that innocence was stolen by the vampire who now held her captive.

Giles followed Spike as he went into the neighboring room and jumped back as Angelus' hand snaked through the door and pulled his childe inside.


i got my hand in my pocket, so determined, discreet.

Tara & Willow were not looking for Buffy and Angelus. Well, they were looking, but not in the traditional sense. They were sitting in Buffy's house, upstairs in their bedroom. Sitting cross-legged, facing each other with joined hands, Tara anchored Willow to this plane, while she took her second, more dangerous trip into the aether of another dimension.

She searched for a soul there. Angel's soul. She knew if she could find him, he would hold the answers of how to break him free from the tormenters who held him to his agreement, punishing him for the stolen gift.


although i must admit...he still visits my place
uninvited, as you know, he don't wait
funny how he always seems to fit in
funny how i always want to give in

Angelus' still blunt teeth, tore at parts of Buffy's inflamed body, breaking her skin. He inhaled the musky sweet scent that traveled to his nostrils from his mate's pussy. His cock was throbbing and fully erect inside his leather pants. He wanted to fuck her so badly he felt a constant growl rumbling through his body but he waited...he waited for her to beg for it.

Truly claiming someone, just like torture, was an art form. It took time and patience. He wanted to torment her in the way that he had never gotten to, punish her for making him feel by making her feel. Angelus was prepared to leave his beautiful Slayer, bleeding, bruised and inches from orgasm for decades if he had to. He was prepared to do whatever it took until she begged him to claim her fully and when she spread her thighs willingly for his cock, he would take her pleasure and then her life. All it took was time, which was the one thing vampires had plenty of.

And she was inches away. She panted as his fingers moved roughly in and out of her sopping heat. His thumb abused her clit, leaving her hips jerking from the lashings he gave her. His bites were bruising her skin all over but the pain only added to her need and hunger.

You hate him, she reminded herself, This is not Angel.

But her body disagreed. Her body wanted his body. Angel's body. The personality might not be there and the soul might be gone, but the body was that of her lover. She looked at him and saw the man she loved - if he wasn't speaking or looking at her directly, it helped to suspend her disbelief. She was weakening and she knew that he was aware of it. Her whole body begged for the plucking and he had kept her a painful inch from climax for hours now.

"Just tell me you want it, Buff," he growled against her abdomen, biting and kissing the skin there, "and I'll give you release."

Release in more ways than one,he thought, smiling against her warm skin. She tried to move away from his lips but after all this time and torture, she was reacting more slowly and when she tried to scoot further away from his lips, she only collided more roughly with his probing fingers.

"I want it," she breathed, squeezing her eyes closed, as if they would make her ears close too, that she wouldn't hear what she just said.

"What do you want?" He asked, pulling his hands away from her dripping center and standing. She moaned as he pulled away and pressed her thighs together as she watched him strip off his leather pants, unveiling the body she loved before her eyes.

"I want you to..." she whispered, pressing against the silk covered mattress while she struggled to finish her sentence.

"What?" he asked, hovering over her on the bed. She looked down at the hard cock he gripped his large hand. He spread her legs and she didn't protest as he knelt between them, rubbing the sensitive tip over her entrance.

"Fuck me," she breathed, "Please."

He plunged inside her, causing her throaty cry to melt into his groan. The bodies, not just the souls, were mates. They were matched for each other in shape and endurance. All their lives, no other lover fit this way, no other body joined the way that they joined. As Angelus fucked his mate, the realization finally occurred to him. He wanted to kill her for so long that he lost sight of the big picture. But now as he moved smoothly inside her, he decided that he didn't want to kill her, he wanted to turn her. He wanted to make her his forever.


she scratches a letter into a wall made of stone

Willow fell back on the bed landing on the pillows they had positioned there earlier and Tara waited, anchoring her lover while she sought out the lost vampire's soul. She watched Willow's eyes fluttering behind her eyelids as she traveled on the other side.

The longer her girlfriend was wrapped in the spell, the more nervous she got. This was a bigger job than just an anchoring. This was the moment that you decided what you lived for and why you were staying where you were in your life, not just in this moment.

Willow was seeking out what Buffy lived for. She had always known deep inside her heart that Buffy could not go on knowing that Angel's soul was missing. Not just because Angelus was unleashed - the demon was just a side effect - but knowing that Angel was not alive, not free. She needed know that Angel was okay, that he was inside his body, to go on with her life. Even if going on with her life meant that she would have to do it without him.

If Willow had heard Spike's little speech about love, screaming in your veins to work its will, she would have agreed and understood. It took her much longer than Buffy to realize that Angel would never just be an ex, he would never be someone who used be in The Slayer's life. He was The Slayers life, an impeachable layer of ethereal skin that could not be removed, scraped off or forgotten. Ignored, perhaps, but never forgotten.

That was why she searched the realms for the soul of the legendary vampire in love with The Slayer, who was on the edge of turning into something that was the undead nightmare of every member of the Scooby core.


i take your entrance back...can't let you roam inside my head
i don't want to take what you can give...
i would rather starve than eat your bread...

"You've always been mine, Buffy," Angelus whispered against her earlobe as he moved inside her roughly, finally claiming what was his.

"No," she choked as she moved her hips against his thrusts, wrapping her legs around him tightly, even as her bruised and broken flesh cried out in pain, "I'm Angel's. Not yours. I'll never be yours."

He pulled away, dislodging her legs from his hips and left himself inside her, less than an inch of flesh, throbbing against her core, scraping at her sanity.

"I'm Angel," Angelus growled, "I'm the base of everything you love. I'm the foundation of every mushy fucking moment you've shared with him. Every time he touched you, in the back of his mind, he wanted to rip off your clothes you fuck you. That was me. Every time he whispered his love for you, he thought about the blood in your veins. That bloodlust is me. He is me. The body that walks the earth is your mate. Your body is mine. Souls are irrelevant."

"No," she said, moving her hips up to accept more of him, but he held her fast against the bed, "It's not true."

"It is true," he growled, flashing yellow eyes at her, "You told him you loved all of him, remember? That's me."

"No," she said, allowing the tears to slip down her cheeks freely, "I don't love you. I don't want you. I want h-him."

He stayed perched just barely inside her and swept his lightly over her clit as he spoke, reminding her of the passion that lay inside her, demanding release. She trembled against him, as he remained silent, feeling her breath, waiting as the thought, enjoying the feeling of her inner muscles clenching against him.

"P-please," she whispered, arching against him, clutching the silk that bound her wrists. He watched with silent pleasure as her breasts rose and fell with her movements, erect nipples crying out for his touch.

"Please what, baby?" he asked, biting at her nipples and smiling at her cries of pleasurepain.

"Keep...going," she begged, struggling to move her hips against him again.

"What do you want me to do?" he whispered, moving up to her neck, causing her breathing to momentarily halt.

"Keep...fucking me...please," she panted, forcing the despicable words from her lips. There was never a time when she hated herself more than now. But she gasped as he resumed his thrusts inside her, cracking his pelvis against her in violent thrusts. As he was about to find his release, cause hers and take the life he was yearning to take, he heart a rustle behind him.

Without warning, he jumped off the bed, to the door and pulled a yelping Spike inside the chamber. He tossed him against Darla's dressing shade, breaking the delicate paper and wood.

"Spike," Angelus growled, looking down at his interloping childe with anger.


Part Eight


laid spread out before me as her body once did.
all five horizons revolved around her soul,
as the earth to the sun.
now the air i tasted and breathed has taken a turn.

Angelus started laughing maniacally as his bare foot struck Spike across the jaw, "You never give up do you? I always knew you were stupid, Spike, but not this stupid."

Spike looked over at Buffy who had curled up in an attempt to hide her naked skin, even though she knew he had already seen it. Her skin glowed with passion, covered in bites and bruises. In her eyes was a wild glow, as if she were teetering on the edge of insanity.

"Buffy," Spike said as if Angelus wasn't in the room, wiping the blood from his mouth with the cuff of his red shirt, "Come on, love. I can help you escape."

She glanced over at him with faraway eyes and then looked up at her bound hands. She was breathing in heaving breaths as if she had just come in from a marathon. She felt cold all over. And she was terrified that the cold would stay.

"Can't," she managed to whimper.

Spike jumped to his feet and was going to run over to free her but Angelus grabbed his arm, flinging him back to where he was.

"Slayer strength," Spike yelled, "What the hell is wrong with you? You're tied with silk for crying out loud!"

dark grin...he can't help when he's happy looks insane.

"She doesn't want to go," Angelus said, smiling proudly at his accomplishment. Buffy shook her head to protest but the fact that she was lying there naked, reaffirmed Angelus' statement as if she had said it out loud herself. She was still there, bound by silk scarves that she could have easily freed herself from hours before. Angelus knew the truth, which was slowly sinking into Spike. She had allowed him to bite her before and she was allowing this to happen now, because she truly believed that Angel was gone. If he was gone, then nothing else mattered anymore. The Powers wouldn't release him. His soul was trapped in some other dimension and she knew without going through the steps, that the Ritual of Restoration wouldn't work this time. Her love was lost. What did it matter what happened with her life?

"You made a mistake coming here, Spike," Angelus said, slipping into his leather pants and uncomfortably closing them over his still erect cock.

"Whatever, mate. I'm not going to let you kill her," Spike said, standing up again.

"Oh, I see," Angelus said, "What drugs have you been taking, William? You think that you can stop me? Have you ever been able to stop me? After all these years, I've never wanted to kill you as much as I do now."

"I've always wanted you dead," Spike said, facing off against his Grande Sire.

Angelus laughed at Spike's words, sending shivers through Buffy who wasn't sure who she was rooting for in this fight. Spike would probably try to kill her again, but then again, maybe he wouldn't. Either way, she thought, it didn't really matter.

"You just want her for yourself," Angelus said, circling, "Do you want to kill her Spike? You probably don't have the balls for that. You just want to sniff behind her and try to get her to sleep with you."

"Well, if I do," Spike said, stepping closer, "At least I won't have to tie her up."

"I could untie her now and she would stay with me. She would still give me whatever I asked for," he answered. Spike tried to hide his look of acknowledgment, but he knew by the look of shame on Buffy's face, that it was true. He stopped for a moment to look in her eyes and he didn't recognize her. His infatuation was twisting in his chest, begging his heart to beat, attempting to become someone who could save her.


initiatives are taken up
by the middle, there ain't gonna be any middle any more
and the cross i'm bearing home

Tara waited for Willow to wake up and the consciousness was a long time coming. She held her hand without moving and kept a vigil for her lover. She began to wonder as she waited why she would risk everything she loved for her friend, why she sent her spirit into the aether to seek out a vampire's soul.

She had spent a lot of time thinking about Buffy and Angel's relationship while she sat her anchoring Willow to their plane. She understood love and friendship, but being new to both arenas, she struggled to understand real sacrifice. When her mother died, she had lost the only person in her life that loved her completely, unconditionally. Until she met Willow and her friends, she had never been in a group of people who cared that much about each other before. It was a strange feeling. A warm, good feeling that she was afraid she was getting used to. In fact, she was starting to forget what it was like to be alone and misunderstood. Watching Willow now, she was afraid that she would get her old life back again.

But finally, the red headed witch opened her bright green eyes and looked up into her girlfriend's concerned face. She spread her lips into a loud, dazzling smile, while her eyes struggled to remain open and awake.

"Willow," Tara breathed in relief, "Did you find him?"

Willow nodded her head and pulled against Tara's hand to sit up, "I found him and I think we can get him back."

Tara slowly began to smile and then wrinkled her nose in thought, "Is there a way we can keep this from happening again? I don't think any of us will be able to take a repeat performance."

"We'll have to find something," Willow answered, uncrossing her legs and scooting to the edge of the bed, "I can only take Angelus coming out so many times."

"Seriously," Tara agreed, thanking the goddess that she hadn't been around last time that demon emerged.


you think i got my eyes closed,
but i'm looking at you the whole fucking time.

Ripper watched from the doorway at the two vampires facing off and his Slayer, bound to the bed, looking as if she really thought she was defenseless. He felt anger for rising up in him. Anger at her for giving up, for Angel & Spike for their evil natures and at himself for not foreseeing this horrible turn of events. He looked down at the crossbow in his hands and back at the two vampires.

Buffy would never forgive him for what he was about to do, but it had to be done. He knew she didn't have the strength to kill Angelus. Not while he wore her mate's face. No, he would have to do it. And she would hate him for the rest of his life for it.

He looked up at her and saw that she had spotted him, standing in the shadows just outside of the door. She shook her head furiously at him without speaking, trying not to alert Spike & Angelus of his presence. Ripper narrowed his eyes at the young girl and shook his head yes, before picking up the crossbow to aim.

"No!" she screamed, pulling furiously at the silk scarves, actually trying to free herself for the first time. She was barely functioning now that Angelus had taken over her lover's body and she had convinced herself that there was no way to get Angel back, but what if there was?

Angelus turned, looking around the room as she screamed and ripped herself away from the bed to her feet. The arrow that flew across the room was easily caught by Angelus who tossed it away. Angelus lunged at the Watcher, who shot again, embedding an arrow in his chest, but missing his heart. Buffy chased after Angelus grabbing his arm and pulling him back as Giles shot again, missing the vampire completely. Buffy sent Angelus flying into Spike knocking them both back against the stone wall.

Giles was reloading when Buffy yanked the crossbow from his hands. He swung at her and she ducked, feeling embarrassingly naked as she swept his feet out from under him. Looking nervously around her, she ran across the room and slipped into one of Darla's black silk robes. Switching the crossbow from hand to hand as she hastily tried to cover herself.

She looked back and saw that Angelus was already across the room, game face intact. He ripped the arrow from his chest and was leaning in for the kill. She pulled the trigger on the crossbow and sent an arrow into his shoulder, causing him to jerk around to face him.

"Stop. All of you," she said, pointing the crossbow at Angelus, while looking over them all, "Step away from Giles, lover."

"You won't kill me," he growled, "But I will kill him."

"I don't want to kill you," she said, resetting her long lost determination in her eyes, "But I will if you don't step away from him...now."

Angelus stepped slowly away with a smile at the resurgence of self respect that filled her. Just when he thought he wanted her broken, he realized that all the fun was in the breaking. Now he would have to start all over again.

"Giles," Buffy said, turning to her Watcher, "Leave."

"No," he said, crossing his arms in defiance, "I'm not leaving without you."

She edged toward the door, glancing over at Spike and then Angelus and backed toward Giles. She looked over her shoulder, checking where how far she had to the door. Giles had the dart gun in his hands and took three perfect shots, hitting two vampires and one Slayer, rendering them all unconscious. Buffy looked at Giles with painful eyes of betrayal before she closed them.

Giles stepped over his Slayer and swept the crossbow up from the floor where it had fallen inches from her hand. He looked at the peacefully sleeping forms of Spike and Angelus, struggling to make a decision.


she dreams in color, she dreams in red

Buffy found herself in the wooded place in her mind that her dreams reserved for Angel. The trees slithered around them, preparing to take him away again, but for now, she had him before her. His eyes were soulful and sad as he looked over her bruises and bites.

"Why?" he asked, smoothing his hands over her face, causing a deep sigh of longing to come from her chest.

"I can't," she said, shaking her head slightly as she looked away from his eyes, unable to face him.

"Buffy," Angel started, but was interrupted when she cried out, "I don't know how to save you, Angel. Giles is going to kill your body and then it's all over. Everything is gone. There's nothing left for me there. I want to stay with you."

"You can't, love," he said, "It doesn't work that way."

"I want to be with you," she answered.

"Our souls are not meant for eternal rest at the same place," he said, pulling her closer to him, "I'm a demon. You're human. You're good. You can't be with me."

She leaned her head against his chest in defeat, "I'm so tired, Angel. I can't do this. Not anymore."

"Baby, you have to wake up," he said, smoothing his hand over her hair slowly.

"I don't want to leave you again," she said, as the vines made their way to him to pull him back.

"Wake up, love," he said, as the vines began wrapping around his legs, "Willow found me. She can get me out, but you have to wake up. Wake up before Giles kills me. Wake up, love."


oh, can't touch the bottom
in too deep, yeah...oh, can't touch the bottom

"Buffy," a voice said as she struggled to open her eyes, "Buffy!"

"Angel," she whispered as she opened her eyes to focus on Giles. Abruptly, she looked around the room to find two vampire bodies undusted. She sighed with relief and then pushed Giles away from her.

"You...you...damn it, Giles! What the hell is your problem?" Buffy yelled as she stood, stumbling as dizziness came over her. Giles shook his head at her and steadied himself.

"What the hell is your problem, Buffy? Do you know what I saw when I came in here?" He yelled back. She looked down in shame, checking her hands for answers they didn't hold and then looked back up at him.

"I know," she said, "I...I gave up, but Willow found Angel. There's a way to save him. We can get him back."

"Buffy," Giles answered sadly, "You are far beyond your right mind. I know you love him, but how many times do we have to go through this? How many lives must be put in jeopardy before you see that this can never be?"

"We can anchor his soul," she begged, "We can save him. Make sure this never happens again."

"I won't be a party to this," Giles said, stepping back with his hands in the air, "The only reason he is not dead is because I could never stand your hating me."

"Giles," Buffy said, stepping over to lug Angelus over her shoulder, "I promise you, it'll be okay this time."

Giles followed her silently out of the chamber, casting a final glimpse at Spike, still laying in the corner. He would let Buffy handle him as well. They navigated the tunnels, stopping to tranquilize Angelus again when he started to stir. Buffy hoped with every step that in her dream she had been actually talking to Angel and that there really was a chance for him to be saved.


Part Nine


i'm just like you, think we've had enough
i can't believe a thing they want us to...oh...
oh, we all got scars, they should have 'em too...

Everyone was already waiting at Buffy's house when they arrived with Angelus. Everyone was wearing tired faces that looked on with shock as she brought him in and tied him to a chair, reminiscent of how they used to treat Spike.

"Okay," Xander said, holding his hand up, "Am I the only one here who think thinks Dead Boy should be dusted?"

"No," Wesley said, from his chair, looking somewhat ashamed for his answer. Giles mumbled his agreement and Cordy looked confused.

"I'm with Xander," Anya added, "I think he should not be allowed to kill people anymore."

"Willow said there was a way," Cordy said, looking over the vampire she had grown to love.

"So you did find him, Will?" Buffy asked, ignoring the stares at her wounds and her strange attire.

"Yes, but how did you know?" Willow asked, looking at her friend with interest.

"I had a dream," she answered, "Angel told me you found him. You did, though? You found him?"

Willow nodded with a smile, feeling proud of herself and Buffy smiled back, thanking her and gleaming with the knowledge that in her recent dreams, she had actually been talking to Angel. They had really found themselves through the dimensions.

"What do we need to do?" Buffy asked, looking over Willow and Tara.


i'll ride the wave where it takes me
i'll hold the pain...release me...

As the witches chanted the spell, the Scoobies thought that the house was going to cave in from the pressing power of the magick, which shook the house, attempting to loosen it from its foundation. If Buffy didn't know better, she would have thought that there was a earthquake going on. When the chanting ended and the spell was completed, the house continued to wobble for several more minutes.

Buffy knelt before the chair that Angel was still tied to, waiting for him to wake up. Silently begging him to come back to her. Finally she turned to glance back at the witches, who were standing and shaking off the magickal daze.

"When is he supposed to wake up?" she asked, trying not to sound demanding. After all they had already done, the last thing she wanted to do was appear ungrateful.

"I don't know," Willow said, "I would think, if it worked, he would wake up soon."

Buffy nodded, giving her friends a look of thanks and turning her eyes back on Angel. The room was in a perpetual pause as they waited with her. Everyone was starving, tired and in need of a shower, but no one was going to leave the room until they knew whether it was safe to go.

A half hour was held in stasis as they waited and waited and waited. Finally, his eyes began to open and Buffy leaned in, waiting to see if the eyes that looked at her held a soul in them.

Please, be Angel, she pleaded silently.

"Buffy," he said, shifting in his chair, straining against the ropes.

She didn't speak right away, but looked deeply in his eyes, holding her breath, along with everyone else. The eyes that returned her gaze held nothing. Nothing but love and devotion, thankfulness and apology. She threw herself at his bound form and hugged him as she released a torrent of teardrops.

"Angel," she sobbed, clambering over his lap to lay her head on his shoulder.

"It's okay, love," he whispered, leaning to kiss her hair, "It's me. It's okay."

Air was breathed in all over the room and released into immediate sighs of relief, as they realized that Angel had returned to them.


oh, please don't go out on me, don't go out on me now
never acted up before, don't go on me now i swear i never took it for granted, just thought of it now
suppose i abused you, just passing it on

Spike woke up to find himself alone in Darla's chamber. He looked around the room nervously and felt with a deep sense of chagrin, that Angelus was still alive. If there was any justice in the whole bloody world, he thought as he stood and dusted himself off, Angelus would be dust and Buffy would still be in this chamber...naked.

Now he was sporting a massive fucking headache and he had to go find out if Giles & Buffy were dead somewhere, while his Sire was out dancing in their blood. He strode out of the cavern and into the tunnels, listing his recent annoyances in his head, one of them being that the damn Slayer still had his leather duster.

He made his way to the Summers' house and looked in the front window to find Buffy crying on Angel's lap with the whole crew looking on with relieved looks on their faces. Cursing, he turned and headed for his crypt. But stopped halfway there. Turning, he headed back toward town. He was starving and it was way past time to kill someone.

The first life he took was that of a small girl, a teenager, standing near movie theatre. Breaking into her skin was easy and her blood washed thoughts of The Slayer from his body. He almost felt like himself as he hunted for another warm body. This was what he should have done to begin with. Could've saved himself a whole world of grievance.

Plans for the future began dancing over his head as he sunk his teeth in his second victim for the evening. He would kill until he felt whole again and that would take a while since he had been out of the game for so long. Then he would ditch Sunnyhell and get away from the bloody Slayer and her Scooby bunch of doltish friends. Wistfully, he wondered if he could find Drusilla. All that torture that Angelus had performed on Buffy, reminded him when he used to hand it out too, instead of trying to save people from it. Maybe he should go to Prague...


the waiting drove me mad...you're finally here and i'm a mess

"Buffy," Angel whispered against her hair, feeling the weight of the stares in the room, "You can untie me anytime."

"Oh," she said, wiping her face quickly with the back of her hand, before climbing off his lap and freeing him from the ropes. Angel pulled Buffy into his arms, holding her tightly. Over her head, he met with Giles' unforgiving eyes.

"I'm sorry, Giles," Angel said, "Again."

"Yes, well," Giles said, relenting slightly, "I guess it's okay now that your soul is permanent."

"If it makes you feel any better," Angel said, "I do have a large hole in my chest."

"Actually, it does," Giles said with a smile as he turned and headed for the front door, "Makes me feel a lot better."

Strolling outside, Giles looked up at the sky. It was just before dusk and the air calmed around his body, wiping away the months of insufferable stress. For the first time in a very long time, the Watcher was going to go home and watch nothing at all. Thankfully, his services would not be needed for a while...he hoped.

Briefly, his thoughts fluttered to Spike and his heart sank. If there were really Powers That Be, if they were interested in one insignificant human's wishes, they would get Spike out of this town, or dimension, which would be preferable. He pushed the recently dechipped vamp from his mind. He wasn't going to think about him or about how he could come into his house anytime he wanted.

Damn it, Giles thought, nothing is ever easy. He began thinking about how his morning would be spent, instead of having a long sleep, followed by tea and light reading, he would be going around uninvinting Spike from their houses.


the only thing i want so much...
that's the only thing i want so much...
that's the only thing i want so much...

Everyone watched with surprised smiles as Giles walked out of the house with a light sort of happiness that they all needed to feel too, and were beginning to. They couldn't help but look at Buffy & Angel's reunion with joyful smiles, as well. Buffy squealed as Angel scooped her into his arms and ran upstairs, slamming the door to her bedroom, leaving the world out.

He set her on the bed as she released a breathless laugh. He looked at the window that no one had bothered to fix during the commotion. He fingered the broken shards of glass still set in the pane and turned to look at her - which was the greatest damage he had caused. He crossed the room, where she had stood up from the bed and opened her robe. He looked over the wounds that he had caused, trying to wish them away. His fingers moved gently over the marks that marred her skin.

"It's okay," she said, grabbing his hands and looking into his eyes.

"No, it's not," he said, as tears threatened to fall.

"Angel," she said, "It is okay. If I get to spend the rest of my life with you now, then this is nothing. They'll heal."

"But I...I did this...to you," he said, letting his eyes wander over the wounds cutting into her beautiful body.

"No," she said, "You didn't. You were...wherever you were. This was not you."

"I'm so sorry, Buffy," he said, as tears threatened to pool in his eyes.

"I want to stay together now," she said, changing the subject, "I don't want you to leave again."

"Buffy," Angel said, feeling as if life always seemed to get worse, just when he thought it was getting better, "I have duties in LA. And you need to -"

"Shut up," she said, twisting and pushing him onto the bed. She flung a leg over him and straddled him, "I'm tired of this bullshit. You can live here part time. I live there part time. But I'm not living without you anymore."


"Shut up," she repeated, feeling all the anger and fear and pain swelling up in her as she looked down on him, "I love you. You love me. That's it. End of story. I'm keeping you this time."

"You're keeping me, huh?" Angel said, smiling in spite of himself.

"Yes," she said, flipping her hair over her shoulder, before leaning down to look deeper in his eyes, "You're mine and I'm tired of giving up what's mine. You, I'm keeping."

"God, I love you," he said, kissing her gently.

"So we have an agreement?" she said, wiggling over his lap suggestively.

"It doesn't sound like I have a choice," he said with a twinkle in his eye.

"You don't," she said, smiling back.

"Well, then," he said, running his hands under the robe and over her back, "I guess it's settled then."

"Guess so," she said, pulling him in for a passionate kiss. Dueling tongues fought inside their mouths, but Angel knew that he would let her win every battle until the end of time, if she could forgive him for what happened while his soul was gone...again.

She pulled away and began unbuckling his leather pants and just the fact that he wore them was a painful reminder of what had happened. He knew she was bruised all over. He was certain, as his memories began to complete themselves of everything that had occurred, that she was bruised on the inside too.

"Buffy, I don't think this is a good idea," he started, "I hurt you pretty badly and-"

"Angel," she whispered, shutting him up once again, "I'm not afraid you hurting me. The only way to wash this all away is for you to make new memories to replace the old ones. I need you to make love to me."

Gently, he pulled the robe off of her and then rolled them over, nodding his agreement. He pulled off the leather pants and tossed them to the floor, before returning to bed and looking over her body.

"We'll burn those later," he said as he began kissing her in every place that he had hurt her. Making his way all over her body, he landed on her neck and kissed it gently, feeling slightly guilty that his body still hummed with the power of her blood. He made his way down her body, over her wrists and fingers, her damaged breasts and bruised abdomen, he could scarcely believe that he had done all this defilement, even though the memories clicked clearly in his mind now.

Settling between her thighs, he winced as though he were in pain when he surveyed her bruised and torn flesh. She ran her fingers through his hair, murmuring her whispered forgiveness as he began light pleasure where pain had been.

"I'm sorry," he whispered against her flesh as he began to kiss those wounds as well. He inhaled her arousal as he gently kissed her sensitive wounds. He heard her whisper his name in a moan as he lapped at her clit, running his hands gently over her abused thighs. He prolonged her pleasure, making her climax again and again as he prepared himself to make love to her. As she bucked beneath him, crying out in pleasure, he began heal.

He moved up her body and kissed her, more aroused by the idea of her tasting herself on his lips. He didn't move to enter her, but took his time kissing her, moving his hands lightly over her breasts. After several minutes, she realized he was stalling and broke his kiss.

"Make love to me, Angel," she whispered, causing his whole body to twinge in arousal. He looked in her eyes, searching for even the smallest bit of reluctance. Finding none, he entered her slowly and heard her breath deeply as he came in contact with sore places. He moved slowly, washed in the feeling that his dreams had been made of for six years. As their passion increased, he didn't move faster, but forced his strokes to be gentle and slow.

She ground against him, digging her fingers into his broad shoulders and wrapping her legs around his waist. She pitched harder and finally cried out in overwhelming passion, "Angel. Please!"

"Don't want to hurt you," he groaned, feeling the need to move faster pounding in him.

"Angel, please," she whimpered, pressing against him urgently, "I'm going to die if you don't...please. You're not going to hurt me."

With a groan, he moved against her, delving more deeply. She anchored against him, meeting each thrust, gasping at each meeting of her flesh with his. Reaching between them, as he moved harder, faster, he connected with her clit, massaging it in time with his movements. She cried out his name again and again as she came, thrashing beneath him. Finally, as she was in the middle of her release, he experienced true happiness...and retained his soul.


but i'm not about to give thanks, or apologize
i couldn't breathe, holdin' me down
hand on my face, pushed to the ground
enmity gaged, united by fear
forced to endure what i could not forgive...

Night had barely fallen and Spike was preparing to leave his crypt and Sunnydale altogether, when the door opened. Angel stormed in and crunched his fist into Spike's face, sending him flying against the stone sarcophogus.

"Bloody hell, mate," Spike yelled, "I was trying to save the bint. And from you, I might add."

"That was after you tried to kill her as I recall," Angel said, kicking him in the face as his childe was attempting to stand and nearly smiling at the sound his boot made when it made contact with Spike's face.

"I wasn't trying to kill her," Spike answered, "I was...hungry."

"Oh," Angel said, nodding sarcastically, "In that case..."

He pulled him from the floor and rushed across the room, slamming him into the nearest available piece of wall. Pulling back, he slammed him into it again.

"The one thing that never changes whether I have a soul or not," Angel growled, feeling his anger at the boy nowhere near subsiding, "is that I know what's mine. Touch her again and I will kill you. Look at her and I'll kill you. You fucking talk to her and I'll kill you."

"I was just going to leave town," Spike said, groaning, "I loved her, you know."

"You're not capable of love," Angel said, dropping him with disgust. As he headed for the door, he glanced over his shoulder at the pathetic bleeding body of his Grande Childe, "Give my regards to Dru."

Angel didn't have to look back to see the last jerk of pain he gave to Spike. He went back out into the darkness and headed for his love.


my god, its been so long, never dreamed you'd return
but now here you are, and here i am

Angel crept into the room where Buffy still lay in bed, curled on her side, looking delectable in her sleep. He hastily discarded his clothes and climbed back in bed, easing himself around her again. She stirred and with her eyes still closed, she snuggled into him again.

"Did you kill him?" she asked sleepily.

"No," he said, kissing her head and smiling down at her, "Probably should have."

"Forget him," she said, pulling him in closer and smiling as felt his arousal rising behind her.

Angel's hand snaked around her as he began kissing her neck. Sliding down her side, he pulled her leg over his, opening her for him.

"I love you," he whispered, as he entered her again.


The End! Hope you enjoyed it!