Some Assembly Required (Season 2, Episode 14): The cemetery. Buffy is sitting on top of the gravestone of Stephan Korshak playing with her yo-yo. Buffy: C'mon, Stephan, rise and shine. Some of us have a ton of trig homework waiting. The camera cuts to her right and approaches her from behind. Angel: Hey. Buffy inhales a quick startled breath and turns around to face her stalker. Angel: Is this a bad time? Buffy: Are you crazy? You don't just sneak up on people in a graveyard. You make noise when you walk. You stomp or... yodel. Angel: I heard you were on the hunt. Buffy: I'm supposed to be, but... lazy bones here doesn't wanna come out and play. Angel: When you first wake up it's a little disorienting. He'll show. Buffy: It's weird to think of you going through that. Angel: It's weird to go through. So, uh, you're here alone? Buffy: Yeah! Why? Angel: I just thought you'd have somebody with you. Xander or someone. Angel: Or someone. Buffy: Nope. (hops down off the gravestone) Why? Are you jealous? Angel: (chuckles) Of Xander? Please. He's just a kid. Buffy: Is it 'cause I danced with him? Angel: 'Danced with' is a pretty loose term. 'Mated with' might be a little closer. Buffy: Don't you think you're being a little unfair? It was one little dance, which I only did to make you crazy, by the way. Behold my success. Angel: I am *not* jealous. Buffy: You're not jealous? What, vampires don't get jealous? Stephan has come out of the ground, and looks at them from behind his gravestone. Angel: See? Whenever we fight you always bring up the vampire thing. Buffy: Well, I didn't come here to fight. The vampire lunges at her and knocks her into Angel. They fall to the ground, but Buffy quickly gets up. Buffy: Oh, right, I did. Stephan throws a few punches which Buffy easily blocks. She punches him in the face several times and kicks him in the jaw, sending him stumbling into a large adjacent gravestone. She looks around frantically. Buffy: Where's my stake? I-I know I had a stake! Angel: I didn't see a stake! The vampire grabs a shovel that was lying by the other gravestone and comes at them again. Angel attacks, but Stephan brings the shovel up and hits him in the side of the face, knocking him onto his back. He leaves Angel lying there and steps toward Buffy. She meets him and jumps over the shovel when Stephan swings it at her legs. He swings it at her again, but she catches it, hits him again and breaks the handle. She spins around with her half and jams the broken handle into his chest. He falls over backward and bursts into ashes as he hits the ground. Angel gets up holding the side of his head. Buffy: (out of breath) What do you mean he's just a kid? Does that mean I'm just a kid, too? Angel: Look, obviously I made a mistake coming here tonight. (turns and leaves) Buffy: Oh, no you don't. You can't just turn and walk away from me like that. (starts following him determinedly) It takes more than that to get rid of me. She falls into an open grave with an open and empty coffin at the bottom. Buffy: Oof! Uhhh... Angel comes over and bends down to look. Angel: You okay? Buffy: I'm fine. (sits up and exhales) Gee, I wish people wouldn't leave open graves laying around like this. (stands up slowly) Angel: So. Another vampire has risen tonight. She pokes her head out of the grave and looks across the grass. Buffy: I don't think so. Look at those tracks. Whoever was buried here didn't rise from this grave. She climbs out of the grave and finds a girl's shoe. Buffy: She was dragged from it. [Later in the episode...] Cordelia: (quietly) Oh, God! God, it's you. Why were you following me? Angel: I wasn't sure it was you at first. I'm looking for Buffy. Cordelia: Buffy? Well, she's, uh... big shock, she's at the graveyard. Angel: She said she'd be home. Cordelia: Well, she lied. Isn't she a rascal? Well, you're in luck. It just so happens that my night is free. (tries to get out) Uh, hold on, my skirt is caught. She reaches behind her and gets her skirt loose. Cordelia: There. She picks up what was holding her skirt and sees it's a hand. She drops it and screams. [Later in the episode...] The library. Xander can be heard outside in the hall. Xander: So, both coffins are empty. That makes three girls signed up for the army of zombies. They come in through the doors. Willow: Is it an army if you just have three? Angel gets up from the table and faces them. Cordelia clings to his arm and gets up, too. Buffy: Zombie drill team then. Angel: You're back. Angel: (to Buffy) I thought you were takin' the night off. Buffy: I, I was, um, but something came up. Angel: Cordelia told me the truth. Xander: (chuckles) That's gotta be a first. Giles: Um, as long as you're here, perhaps you could be of some help. Hmm? (to Buffy) Hmm? Buffy: We were investigating. Somebody's been digging up the bodies of dead girls. Angel: I know. We found some of them. Buffy: You mean, like, two of the three? Angel: I mean, like, some of them. Like parts. Cordelia: It was horrible. Angel saved me from an arm. God, there were so many parts, they were everywhere. Why are these terrible things always happening to me? Xander: Karma! (coughs to cover it) Willow: So much for our zombie theory. Giles: So much for all our theories. Buffy: I don't get it. Why go to all the trouble to dig up three girls only to chop them up and throw them away? It doesn't make any sense. Especially from a time management standpoint. Angel: Well, what I saw didn't add up to three whole girls. I think they kept some parts. Buffy: Could this get yuckier? Willow: They probably kept the other parts to eat. Buffy: Question answered. Giles: Why dispose of the remains five miles from the cemetery at a school, of all places? Buffy: Maybe because whoever did it had some business in the neighborhood. Like, say, classes? Giles: Oh. Ah. Angel: This was no hatchet job. Whoever made those incisions really knew what they were doing. Giles: (disbelieving) Yes, really. What student here is gonna be that well versed in physiology? Willow: Well, I can think of five or six guys in the science club. And me. Xander: So, Will, come clean. Promise to never do it again, and we'll call it a night. (no response) He joked! (smiles) Buffy: Willow, why don't you get these guys' locker numbers so we can do some checking? Cordelia: No. I have to go home now. I have to take a bath and burn my clothes. Xander: (in mock disappointment) You have to go? Aw, too bad. Keep in touch. Buh-bye. Cordelia: I don't wanna go alone. I'm still fragile. (to Angel) Can you take me? Angel is in open-mouthed shock, and looks at Buffy. She gives him a stare of disapproval. Cordelia: Great! I'll drive? She leads the way out of the library as Angel gives Buffy another helpless look. Xander: How about that? I always pegged him as a one-woman vampire. [Later in the episode...] Cut to the cemetery. Angel and Buffy are strolling through. Buffy: God, the whole thing was so creepy. Well, at the same time, I mean... he did do it all for his brother. Angel: Sounds like he took it a little over the edge. Buffy: Love makes you do the wacky. Angel: What? Buffy: Crazy stuff. Angel: Oh. Crazy, like a two-hundred-and-forty-one-year-old being jealous of a high school junior? Buffy: Are you fessing up? Angel: I've thought about it. Maybe it bothers me a little. Angel: Yeah, but he's in your life. He gets to be there when I can't. Take your classes, eat your meals, hear your jokes and complaints. He gets to see you in the sunlight. Buffy: I don't look that good in direct light. Angel: It'll be morning soon. Buffy: I should probably go. I could walk you home. They look at each other for a long moment. Finally Angel begins to walk, and Buffy accompanies him, her hand in his. The camera pans down to Daryl Epps' gravestone, 1978 - 1996. |
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