Between Angel's nonstop roars drifting up from the basement and Drusilla's wails wafting downstairs from their bedroom, Spike was in utter anguish. He stood in the middle of the hotel lobby trying to figure out what to do. His newly restored soul was not settling well into the skin that had murdered all those people in such a short time. How long would it be until it happened again? The Watcher had assured him that it wouldn't, but he wasn't so sure. Nothing was definite. Maybe they would never be safe. Maybe it didn't matter if he had a soul or not. It hadn't mattered for Penn.

The phone rang and he trudged across the room and picked it up, "Angel Investigations. We're fucking hopeless."

"Spike? It's Giles."

"Yeah," Spike answered, leaning heavily on the counter, "Got more good news for me, mate? Cause I can't fucking take it right now."

"Buffy is on her way over."

"Did you even hear what I just said?" Spike moaned in complaint, "Sire's down there out of his damn tree and you're sending the little semi-vamp Slayer over to torture us all some more? Maybe you can load the sprinkler system with holy water later and start a fire."

"I did try to persuade her to stay away," Giles explained calmly, "Please try to be gentle with her. She's not adjusting to her new...condition well."

"I'm sure she isn't," Spike said, "I'm still trying to forget what we did together. No offense, but I'm not interested in seeing the chit right now."

"She should be there soon," Giles said, "Do you think her presence will worsen Angel's madness?"

"It'll worsen mine," he snapped and then sighed, "I don't know. It's hard to say. I guess we'll find out."

Spike hung up the phone and went up to see Dru, shuddering from her cries as he went. Since their souls had been returned she was doing just what she had last time. She was mourning the loss of the people she had killed and her fragile mind just couldn't handle the torment she had visited on innocents. Her connection with Angel was closer than his own and with her highly developed sensitivities, he knew that part of her anguish was her Sire's. He entered the bedroom slowly and looked over to the bed where she laid, curled up in a tight ball, clinging to Miss Edith and sobbing into her silk pillow case.

"It's okay, ducks," he offered gently as he sat down on the edge of the bed next to her, "It's going to be alright, love."

"Spike," she choked as she scooted over and laid her head in his lap, "So much blood, so much death."

"I know, pet," he said, smoothing a hand over her shining dark hair, "The memory's going to hurt for a while, but we'll get over it. Just like last time."

"N-not memories," she wept, "What's to come, Spike. It's what's to come."

***

see you
don't you just want to
see you
i am one
see you
don't you just want to

Buffy's skin felt strange, as if it were trying to figure out what to do about the vampire blood running swiftly underneath it. She ran along feeling her heart pound and even that felt strange. It wasn't natural. It should be but it wasn't. She still felt dead even though she lived. She ran toward the hotel sensing Angel's pain digging in underneath her own.

When he first tasted her blood, she felt an automatic bond form between herself and her mate but it was not nearly as strong as the one formed when he Sired her. Another step up was the mating between them, the vampiric joining, the claiming as mates. As her memories moved on to the linking, she reached up and felt her neck, almost startled to find that with her humanity, his mark on her had returned. Emblazoned on her flesh, it stood out from her smooth skin, more than just an unsightly scar.

Now that their souls were linked, she felt like he was howling inside her. She shuddered as she kept moving toward her mate, moving faster than her previously human legs could have carried her. She realized as she ran that her body had retained part of the additional vampiric senses she had - speed, strength and smell. They were stronger and more defined than she had been as a human Slayer before. The odors of the people around her stood out, crashing over her with startling accuracy.

Wheels screeched behind her as a large black van careened dangerously around the corner and fell in behind her. She glanced back as the side door slid open, revealing a large man with a crossbow. He aimed and she jumped forward, flipping her body into a graceful roundoff to avoid the flying wooden fatality.

The van stopped and three men climbed out, clad in all black, all armed with different weapons. She faced off with them, glaring angrily, "Who the hell are you?"

"We have been sent by the Council," the thinnest and most gaunt looking man answered. He had a sparse head of sandy brown hair and steel gray eyes that reflected no kindness.

"I'm the Slayer," she answered, watching them closely for offensive movements, "Why are you trying to kill me?"

"Correction," he answered, "You were the Slayer. Now you are an abomination."

"I'm human," she said firmly, forcing herself to keep from backing away from them.

"Human?" he snorted in disgust, "Part vampire is not human. You are a disgrace to the Council, as is your failed Watcher. You and the souled vampires cannot be allowed to walk this earth."

"We're still fighting the forces of evil," Buffy protested, wishing she could get her feet to move. She had to run. She couldn't kill another human, "You are trying to destroy warriors for the good side here."

"Under direct order of the Watcher's Council of England," he intoned in a voice that betrayed memorization, "Buffy Summers, former Slayer, you are sentenced to death for willingly giving yourself to the powers of darkness. Your treason cannot be overlooked."

"Where's the trial? Don't I even get a last request?" Buffy half-heartedly joked as she looked around her. There was a wall behind her and she was trapped there with three trained assassins preparing to kill her. Inside her mind, her mate was roaring in angry torment. She couldn't think straight. Had to find a way out of this.

The man laughed, joined in by his counterparts as they snidely looked over her like she wasn't even a person anymore, but a creature to be destroyed. As if on cue, they all three stopped their chuckling and aimed.

***

I'm down, so down
time is right for a guiding light
try to turn to reasons in your bitter life

Angel knew the moment he first ingested the vampiric blood of the Slayer, he would never be the same. Just a sip of her undead blood had made him dizzy and drunk with her power. He felt strange and disoriented when it first happened and it left a craving unlike his normal bloodlust. The sheer potency of her, the way it made every nerving ending sing with glee was tempting, nearly irresistible. It had taken all of his self control not to drain it all from her and greedily gulp down that cold supernatural essence.

Now that his soul was returned along with hers, Spike's and Drusilla's, he knew that the blood no longer existed. Buffy was not a vampire anymore but a partial one if he had understood the conversations going on around him. That power was gone forever except what still sat in his body, breeding more power with each moment he remembered it. A part of his mind did not understand that his mate was now, again, a living woman. A bond that had been created in their vampiric union and even rebirth could not remove it. It was making him insane. He was itching to touch the skin that was warm once more, to taste the blood that still had his own mixed inside it.

The linking with her had been the final addition that broke him of any remnant of reason. The man in him accepted the link, cherished it, loved it. He could feel her emotions as she slept and dreamed over the three days. When she finally woke up, realized the link and felt him, he trembled on the inside. It was ecstacy when she reached for him with her mind and he roared louder for release. Had to be closer to her. He was too far from his beloved. Too fucking far.

The demon in him, however, was trapped with a living human soul and even as he tried to meld the conflicting parts of himself, even as he tried to grasp the demon and bury him, he couldn't. The demon was too strong and too furious with being chained to her. He knew if he killed her he would die. He knew if he hurt her he would hurt himself. The knowledge was infuriating.

All of his emotions clicked together and became a living, breathing giant of fury when he felt her fear and panic. His mate was trapped and in danger. He jerked at the chains keeping him in that dirty, musty basement beneath the hotel. He slammed forward using every bit of his strength until they gave. He stumbled up the stairs and out of the hotel toward the beckoning call of his mate.

***

some things you just can't hide
if you see her, tell me why, why, why

Giles hung up the phone and poured himself another drink, ignoring the shocked stares of Xander and Cordelia. Willow and Oz had joined the group to check on Buffy shortly after she left and were surprised to find her gone already.

"Is she okay?" Willow asked softly, watching Giles nurse his drink, wondering what his job was now. Did he still train her as the Slayer? Was he supposed to pretend none of this had happened at all?

"A big ‘no' should just about cover that," Xander answered, holding onto Cordy's hand tightly, "She freaked out and ran to Angel. What if that lunatic turns her again?"

"Please don't," Giles said, closing his eyes painfully, "That will not happen."

"What if it does?" Xander retorted, hardly getting his whole insensitive question out as the door slammed open. They all looked up and stared at the Slayer who stormed inside and shut the door behind her, leaning against it, heaving breaths.

"Faith!" Giles cried out, dropping his glass as he stood up abruptly, "What are you doing out of jail?"

"Fucking Council's out house cleaning," Faith heaved, wiping a trickle of blood from the corner of her mouth with the back of her hand and moving to the window peer out, "Said that they were starting out fresh. B and I are history so another Slayer can be called. Had to jump ship before they gutted me."

"Dear Lord," Giles said, "They're after Buffy as well?"

"Yeah," Faith said, still looking out into the night for her attackers, "I don't see them but it's just a matter of time. I know you aren't concerned about me, but you should be concerned about you. When they said they were wiping the slate clean, it kinda sounded like they meant the whole thing, if you know what I mean. What the hell did you people do to piss them off?"

"What did you do?" Xander asked irritably.

"I've been cooling my heels in prison for months being a good little inmate until tonight when some guys tried to kill me in my sleep. They broke into my cell! Your precious little Buffy must have done something."

"Spike," Giles said into the phone and they all turned to look at him. They hadn't even realized he'd been dialing until he spoke, but now they were all hoping silently that Buffy had already made it safely there. It hadn't seemed like a prudent plan before when she went there, but now that the Council was murdering people, being protected by three vamps looked like a wonderful idea, "Has Buffy made it there yet? How on earth did he escape? I thought you had him chained up! Listen, the Council has sent assassins after Buffy and we suspect that you, Angel and Drusilla are in the same danger. It most certainly is your concern! If Angel and Buffy die, we can't be certain that your curse will hold. Yes, I realize we are lacking some important knowledge, Spike. There really isn't time right now. Please go help them straight away. Well, take her with you for crying out loud!"

***

around my heart shadows streak
around my heart
do what you got to do
and say what you got to say
so what you got to do
yes, start today
start today

Gunn hung up his cell phone and gathered five of his men. They jumped into his truck and drove toward the hotel, wondering how the hell he got in the middle of this insane world. One day he was fighting vampires and living his version of a normal life and the next thing he knew there were good vamps with souls and Slayers that had to be watched out for. Things were so much easier before.

He took the route he thought Buffy might have taken on foot from Giles' house to the hotel, hoping to find her somewhere in between. He slammed on the brakes as he saw her facing off with two Council members. Angel was holding a third member, the largest one, snarling ravenously, bare chested and bare footed.

"Hey ya'll," Gunn said with a smile, "I'm not interrupting am I?"

"Gunn," Buffy breathed, not daring to turn her eyes away from her attackers to look at him.

"Hey Buffy," he said lightheartedly, "I'd say ‘hi' to Angel too, but he looks like he lost some marbles on the way over."

"Leave citizen," the thin man ordered, "This is not your concern."

"See," Gunn said as Spike and Drusilla completed the circle by moving to block the other side, "Those are my friends, so this is my business. Why don't you guys just go back to wherever you came from?"

"We are not leaving without destroying the lives of these atrocities," he answered, keeping his weapon trained on the Slayer.

"See that's not even nice," Gunn retorted, "Why don't you back off before someone gets hurt?"

"Yeah," Spike said, standing in front of Drusilla and nodding at the guy's hand gun, "You could poke someone's eye out with that. ‘Sides, my Sire over there looks like he's gonna snap the neck of your little friend."

"We have our affairs in order," he replied calmly, "If we die completing our mission, then we die."

Angel slowly cut off the air supply of the man he was holding until he fell unconscious and he dropped him, sweeping forward to pick up the crossbow that clattered on to the sidewalk. He raised the weapon and aimed quickly, shooting the thin man's hand. He growled into the man's scream as the gun fell, banging loudly on the concrete. Spike dashed forward, tackling the third man and slamming his head on the ground.

Angel grabbed the man he had shot by the throat, raising him from the ground as he continued the growl he couldn't seem to stop.

"Angel!" Buffy called, inching forward, "Put him down. You can't kill him."

He looked back at her, trying to form words, but couldn't manage. His eyes were golden and his ridged face was intact, but that had nothing to do with why he looked maniacal. Buffy repeated her command to her mate, "Put him down, Angel."

Gunn, Spike, Drusilla, his five men and the remaining conscious Council member all gasped in shock as her eyes blazed golden, matching her mate's. Her voice was low and deadly, just a whisper away from a growl as she approached him, placing her hot little hand on Angel's arm, "Put. Him. Down."

Focused on his mate, he simply let go, allowing the man to drop without seeing where he landed. He kept his eyes on her, sweeping over her body.

"It's okay, baby," she whispered. He turned and pulled her into his arms, crushing her against his chest. For the first time in three days, Angel stopped growling and made no sound. Buffy was the first to make a noise and the desperate sob was muffled against a hard, cold chest.

***

Part Eleven "It's Not Easy Being Dead"

DEDICATION: For Kyria, who will be joining me in Angel Rehab. The first step is admitting you have a problem. *G*

***

but beware
all those angels with their wings glued on
cause deep down we are frightened and we're scared

Gunn's men gathered the Council's assassins and tossed them in the back of the truck after thoroughly checking them for weapons. Buffy, Angel, Spike and Drusilla walked to the hotel slowly, not speaking in the night. There was so much to say, so many things to talk about that none of them could think of where to start, so they kept their mouths closed, silently wondering what do to next.

When they arrived at the hotel, Gunn and his friends had successfully unloaded the three offenders and were busy tying them up in the hotel's spacious lobby. Buffy surveyed the room and the three men, two of whom were still unconscious before walking over to the phone and calling Giles. She leaned against the counter as she explained what had happened and patiently answered each of his questions. Finally, he explained Faith's arrival and despite the upsetting news, Buffy couldn't bring herself to react. She just absorbed and she knew that she was quickly filling up. There wasn't much more room for more surprises.

She hung up the phone and turned around, nearly slamming into the bare chest of her mate. She hadn't realized that he had been standing right behind her. She craned her neck, looking up into his eyes. They were still golden and seemed to be flaming with a mixture of unidentifiable emotions. If she were just reading his gaze, she would have been a little confused, but the linking aided her in understanding him. She took his hand and led him over to the couch, gently guiding him to sit before she lowered herself onto his lap, curling up against his chest with sheer exhaustion.

"Giles and everybody are coming over to poke and interrogate the three stoodges," she said out loud to no one in particular. It was just an announcement. Angel's arms held her tightly as he began to relax against her. She tilted her head and kissed a small piece of his bare chest, as she closed her eyes, sighing in contentment. She couldn't make herself think about the million issues floating around in her mind right then. She just wanted to shut down.

"You're just going to go to sleep?" Gunn asked incredulously, causing her to open one eye then the other, glancing across the room to him.

"No," she said, "I'm resting until the calvary arrives."

"Angel's still vamped out," he said, nodding at his friend warily. He wanted to trust Angel, but he couldn't. Not now. Maybe never again.

Buffy pulled away and looked up at his ridged face, and smiling softly. Even with his demon revealed, he was beautiful. She reached up and smoothed her small hand over his cheek.

"He's upset," she said, laying her head back on his chest.

"He hasn't spoken since the linking," Spike added, eyeing his Sire and squeezing his whimpering mate closer to him.

"I know," she said, closing her eyes, "I know he hasn't."

"Well don't you think there's something wrong with him?" Spike shouted, "Can't you see that he's cracked?"

"Yes, Spike," she said, opening her eyes again and glaring at him from the comfort of Angel's arms, "I know that. I'm not stupid."

Buffy closed her eyes again, wishing she could stop up her hearing as well. Unfortunately, it had gotten better during her recent transformations, not worse. She appeared to be relaxed but she was clutching Angel tightly. He wasn't the only one who wasn't responding well. She wished she could say the right words and heal them both, but she knew inherently that the only thing to do was wait. And then wait some more.

***

she said, "i'm dead,
all this pain smothers me like a bomb that you can't see."

Giles entered the Hyperion and gathered his wits about him as he looked around. Gunn and five other men, presumably members of his gang, stood around talking amongst themselves. It would have looked casual if they weren't strategically scattered in a defensive pattern around the three men clad in all black, bound and gagged on the smooth tiled floor. Spike and Drusilla were sitting on the stairs and he could clearly hear the vampiress' wounded whimpering as he descended the stairs, followed closely by Xander, Cordelia, Willow, Oz and Faith.

Finally, the Watcher allowed his eyes to rest on Buffy and Angel. Buffy was fast asleep, curled up in the vampire's arms, but Angel was wide awake, glaring at the intruders with golden eyes. Giles stepped forward and reached out to touch Buffy, planning on shaking her to waking but the warning growl from Angel caused him to pull back.

"Buffy," Giles said gently, stepping away, "Wake up."

Buffy stirred slowly and Angel stayed still as she unraveled herself from him, yawning and stretching like a cat. She stayed perched on his lap, crossing her legs and wrapping an arm around her lover's shoulders as she looked over her friends. She felt set apart now. They were human and mostly normal, but she was different - better and worse at once.

"Hi guys," she said, sleepily, "Sorry I dozed off. It's been a rough couple of weeks."

"Yeah," Xander said, "Dying will take it out of you."

"Thank you, Xander," Giles snapped, "That will be enough of those sorts of comments."

"Sorry," he mumbled back.

"That's okay," Buffy said, "I was dead. Now I'm...I'm still dead."

"No, Buffy," Willow said, "Just a little dead and that means you're mostly alive."

"So you're half vamp now?" Faith asked, strolling over to the now awake Council Members, "That's wicked strange."

"Part vamp and you have no idea," Buffy said, absently caressing Angel's shoulder with her fingertips. Moving her glance back to Giles, she sighed, "So will the Council send more assassins or is this all of them?"

"I'm not sure," Giles said, "Perhaps we should ask them."

Taking his cue, Gunn bent down and remove the gags of all three men without exercising much gentleness. He stepped back and watched as Giles glared at his former comrades. The room seemed alive with doubt, anger and frustration as he began the questioning.

"Well?" Giles asked impatiently after a moment of silence.

"I don't know," the gaunt man answered, "We have never failed in our duties before."

"Congratulations," Buffy said wryly.

***

what you wait for
flower chase the sunshine
flower chase the sunshine
flower

Giles had offered the Council the lives of the assassins in exchange for their promise to stay away from the Slayers and they refused. He could hardly believe he had trusted in them for so long. They had absolutely no love or respect for lives, human or otherwise. It was a little confounding that an organization put together solely as the backbone of the Chosen One, a person whose reason for existence was the preservation of life, would not care about saving anyone.

Eventually, they decided to call the police and have them arrested for attempted murder. It all went fairly smoothly except for a few little details that had to be stumbled over. The first was the explanation of why they moved the attackers and tied them up at the hotel and the other was the nefarious growls coming from Angel, forced to be hidden upstairs and away from Buffy.

When the police finally cleared out, they all breathed a collective sigh of relief. Seconds later, Angel appeared, followed by an angry and exasperated Spike.

"Could you people wait a little fucking longer?" he shouted, pounding down the stairs after Angel, "The Poof damn near ripped my arm off. You shoulda made the Slayer wait up there with him!"

"Sorry," Buffy said, not so apologetically as Angel nuzzled her, inhaling deeply, "I had to be down here to explain how they tried to murder me. Didn't mean to put you out."

"I'm not doing that a-fucking-gain," Spike muttered, rubbing his shoulder.

"Poor Spike," Xander clucked sarcastically.

"Shut up," Spike growled, "I'm feelin' peckish and you're starting to look tempting."

"You won't feed off of him and we all know it," Buffy said, looking out the double doors at the rising sun.

"Yeah!" Xander said and then added, "We do?"

"Course," Buffy answered as she tentatively took a step forward toward the exit and the light. Gathering her strength, she took another step and then another until Angel grabbed her arm, releasing a low, warning growl as he pulled her back.

"I have to find out," Buffy explained. Gently, she removed his hand from her and stepped away again. She looked back at him as he rumbled behind her, wanting to follow into the light, but knowing he couldn't. Willow stepped in beside her friend, grabbing her hand. Buffy turned and smiled thankfully at her. Together they moved slowly toward the door, a tiny step at a time. They pushed through together and continued until the sunlight was a step away. The group looked anxiously after them, holding their breath as they waited for that final step.

"It's okay, Buffy," Willow whispered, "Whatever happens, we'll deal."

"I'm scared, Will," Buffy said shakily, "What if I can't..."

"I'm still your friend," Willow said, squeezing her hand, "No matter what. Sunlight or not, we're still best friends."

Gripping Willow's hand tightly and gratefully, she raised her other hand, allowing the sunlight to dance over her fingertips. She waited. No pain, just a slight tingling. She took a half step and then a full step and then another until she was immersed in the sunlight. It warmed over her skin in a nonfatal way. She breathed a lung full of sunshine and when she released it, it was a sob. She allowed herself to be gathered into Willow's arms and was overcome with weeping. She was in the sun and it was proof that she was still alive.

***

bury me in love
bury me in love
shared your kisses
take your heart
buried me
and it hurts

"It's okay," Buffy said to her mate, shaking her head, as she stepped back inside the hotel, facing him.

"What?" Cordelia asked, "He didn't even say anything."

"He doesn't have to," Buffy said, reaching out to him. He flinched when she touched him. His face had reverted to human and it made him look even more anguished. He started to step away but she held him there, gripping his hand tightly, "He thought he killed me."

"He did kill you," Giles said, "I hate to point out the obvious, Buffy, but you are part vampire now. The fact that you can go into the light does not change the severity of the situation."

"You're not helping," Buffy warned, "Don't you think I know that everything is different now? You have no idea what I'm feeling! None of you! I killed people. Plural. Not a person. People! I fed off human lives and enjoyed it. Right now, I can hear your heartbeats. I can almost hear the flow of your blood. And it turns my stomach. Yes, I was dead. And I'm part demon now. But guess what? Angel is no more to blame than I am so you can stop looking at him like that. You want to know what happened? I know you do, so I'll tell you! Angel didn't turn me one second before I wanted him to. He couldn't. I handed him my life in exchange for an eternity in his arms."

She took a deep breath and waited for the knowledge to sink in before she continued in calmer voice, "I wanted it. I teased him with it, dangling my life over his head. Then I gave it to him and I loved it. I love the feelings, the strength, the power. I enjoyed taking those lives and we are the ones who have to live with it. Even as I tell you this, I can feel his shame and guilt for what happened."

She turned slowly and faced her mate, looking into his eyes and wishing for his silence to end, "We can feel each other now. And between us there's a chasm of sorrow...and love."

She intertwined her fingers with his before turning to face her friends once more, "I love him and I won't stand for one more second of him being treated with contempt. He's a permanent part of me now. You want to know why he growls when he's away from me? Because it hurts...physically and emotionally and spiritually. It hurts so fucking bad that I can't believe I'm not growling too."

Her eyes shimmered with tears as she looked over them, "I'm sorry for what I put you through. I really am, but I don't have the strength to beg you to understand. God, I wish I did."

As she lost herself in her sobs, they looked on in awed silence. Angel gathered her in his arms and gave them a frigid stare as he passed them and carried her up the stairs.

***

Part Twelve "Disasters Await"

Dedication: For indie

***

way deep within my heart lies a soul that's torn apart

Angel carried his sobbing mate up the stairs and into the bedroom. The pain and sorrow streaming off her tiny, trembling body made it even harder for him to grasp at the shred of humanity and lucidity that remained inside him. He wanted, more than anything, to whisper soothing words, to kiss her pain away but his mind wouldn't cooperate. He couldn't form those human words, those rote phrases that would easily drift from his lips before.

He sat down on the edge of the bed and gently rocked, the motion almost assuaging both of them. She knew that he understood, even if he remained silent. She could feel the same emotions tearing from his skin and slicing into hers. She rubbed her cheek on his cold chest, needing just a little more contact. His arms tightened around her, gathering her in as closely as he could, wishing he could bring her inside of him, make her the part that tames the demon. The sad irony of the situation was that being away from her, not having closeness and contact made him insane and being with her, being so close and yet just missing the connection they both needed made him just as crazy. A depressing little Catch-22 was in place and neither of them knew how to resolve it.

After a long time, she pulled away and stood on her own two feet. Angel sat there, his arms feeling strangely empty now and looked at her, waiting. She crawled further onto the bed and laid down on her side, snuggling into the pillows. After a moment, she turned and reached for him, beckoning him to join her. He immediately responded, spooning his large frame around her smaller one and held her tightly.

Every once in a while, even in their sleep, they would shiver simultaneously as their souls sought to find the place they were supposed to settle. Angel buried his face into the crook of her neck, inhaling vanilla and love, his lips dangerously close to the scar.

***

around my heart, shadows streak, around my heart

The group stood, scattered throughout the lobby of the Hotel Hyperion and stared at the stairs where Angel had carried Buffy, shocked at her complete breakdown. They waited for a moment, none of them speaking until Giles cleared his throat.

"Right then," he said, trying to hide the emotion that was coming through clearly in his voice, "I should be off."

"Shouldn't we maybe try to come up with a way to...you know, help them?" Willow asked, looking over the Watcher as she spoke. He seemed a bit out of sorts and headed toward the door in a daze.

"Certainly," he mumbled, "Why don't you come over this evening and we'll begin the research?"

"What are we going to look under?" Cordelia snapped, "Insane vampires and the Slayers they kinda turned?"

"Honey," Xander said, squeezing her hand.

"No, no," Giles said, as he pushed through the doors, "Cordelia is quite correct. This situation is not something that has happened before. I'll need...some time to think about it."

"Suggestion," Oz offered, "Why don't we try reaching Whistler?"

"Yeah," Xander agreed, "What happened to that little freak anyway?"

"Sneaky Powers That Be," Willow said, "They're slippery little suckers."

"Can you gain access, Willow?" Giles asked, pausing in the doorway, "That might be a place to start."

"I...I don't know," Willow answered honestly, "I think it might be dangerous."

"There's another way," Spike said from the other side of the room. Most of them had forgotten that he and the other mad vampire were still in the room. They had been cuddling in the corner for a long time, silent and watching the events unfold.

"Well?" Cordelia asked, after a few moments of waiting had passed, "What is it?"

"Dru," he said, caressing his mate's long dark hair, "She knows how to access them, but she can't."

"Figures," Xander mumbled under his breath.

"Why not?" Willow asked, taking a step toward the worn out pair.

"Only a warrior can go," he answered, "and she isn't considered a warrior. Only Buffy or Angel can go but they're both sharing half the sanity these days. Or...well, I can go actually."

Spike laughed out loud at his own suggestion, his eyes tearing at the idea of him becoming the hero of the situation, "I might have to save all your asses. Now that's bloody fucking hilarious."

"I think all the vampires are sharing half the sanity," Xander whispered.

***

too late to discover peace of mind
too late to recover

Buffy awoke after the sun had set and sat up in bed, rubbing her eyes wearily and looking around the room. Angel was lying next to her, sound asleep for the first time in over three days. He looked troubled in his slumber, jerking periodically and murmuring unintelligible words. She laid back down, turned onto her side and caressed him, whispering soothing words until his subconscious listened and calmed.

"Come back to me, Angel," she whispered to her sleeping mate. She could see the insanity on his sculpted features even as he slept. The linking, the murders he had committed and the fact that he had almost destroyed the one thing in the world he loved had sent his mind hurtling, off setting any rational thought he once had.

Scooting closer, she laid her head on his chest and threw her leg over his. As she laid awake and allowed her presence to comfort him, her mind wandered off to the mountain of problems that had to be solved. The fraction of demon buried beneath her soul longed to join hands with her newfound strength and step into the night, but she kept her place, sorting through mental files of anguish. She wanted to sit down with her friends and find a solution to the recent uprising of chaos. Just the idea of being a working group again, of having her friends in her life, doing simple things like averting the occasional apocalypse sounded wonderful right then. Working out her initial words to them in her mind, a thought hit her that caused her to jerk up again and shake Angel roughly.

"Angel!" she shouted, scrambling from the bed to put on her shoes. He sat up after a moment and watched her, keeping the same disturbing silence as before.

"The Annual Meeting," she exclaimed, grabbing his hand and pulling him from the bed, "God, we left all those vampires there, running free in Sunnydale."

The realization seemed to cross his face as he allowed her to pull him from the bed. She ran to the closet and pulled a shirt free, tossing it to him and looked around for shoes and socks. Visions of the bloody mess they had unwittingly left on the Hellmouth danced in her mind as she sprinted through the doors and collided with Spike, sending them both to the floor with twin thuds.

"Dammit Spike," Buffy complained as she scrambled to her feet, "What are you doing lurking outside of our bedroom door?"

"Waiting for the other shoe to drop," he admitted, dusting himself off. He had been keeping a vigil outside the door of his Grande Sire for a great deal of the day and part of the night, waiting for something to happen. He felt the unrest inside of him, filtered from both Angel and Dru. It disturbed his newly returned soul so much that he found himself stalking up and down the hallway, checking on Dru, then his Sire and back again until the petite body of the Slayer came flying through the bedroom door.

"It's dropped," she said, looking back to find Angel looming there behind her, "We left the Hellmouth unattended."

Spike stood there for a moment, looking into her wild green eyes until his own blue orbs widened with the realization of what she was referring to.

"Dru!" Spike shouted as he turned and ran down the hallway to gather his mate. Buffy pivoted and tromped down the stairs, knowing her shadow was her insane vampiric mate.

***

i spin off and lose my head
throwing stray a spark instead
gather strength down in my heel
and dig it in, the world i peel

Faith had also opted to keep a vigil in the hotel while her sister Slayer lay in the arms of her demented demon. Giles offered to find her a place to stay but she knew that none of the Scooby core wanted anything to do with her. Giles' offer seemed to be a second thought, an oh, yeah, which was not the comforting invitation she would have liked. Not that she thought she thought she deserved it.

Before she left, before she headed back toward the darkness that she so desperately did not want to succumb to, she would offer Buffy the chance to save her. She knew that it was a fruitless and weak attempt at salvation, begging another to give her the strength that she did not have, but she had to try. She had to earn Buffy's forgiveness before it was too late. She heard the commotion coming from up the stairs and hopped soundlessly from the counter where she had been perched for more hours that she could count.

"Faith," Buffy breathed from the top of the staircase, looking down at the one remaining live person in the hotel. Buffy didn't look angry at her for what she had done or for being there. She looked frightened.

"Buffy," Faith started, taking a deep breath, "I wanted to talk to you. I know I fucked up, but I thought maybe we could-"

"There's no time," Buffy interrupted, "We have to get to Sunnydale as soon as poss-"

The low, feral growl erupting from Angel, caused both Slayers to freeze. Buffy turned to look at him but he was already over the railing. He dropped to the floor below and Faith held her breath, taking an involuntary step back. Angel was stronger than ever, infused multiple times with the blood of a Slayer and the insane glint in his golden eyes made Faith certain she was about to die. She didn't need to feel to know there was a stake tucked in the waist band of her leather pants, but she knew she wouldn't reach for it.

He only looked at her briefly, as if noting her position in the room and then moved so quickly across the lobby floor that he seemed to blur in both Slayers' eyes. Angel produced a human body at the front door and tossed him across the room toward Faith, before reaching back out and grabbing another, throwing him toward the stairs his lover was already descending. The third man's thin neck was already in Angel's hands before any of the three Council members were able to react to his movements.

Angel bared his fangs and sunk into the man's neck, just piercing his skin when Buffy mouthed the word, "No," unable to make her vocal chords work. She couldn't allow him to kill the man and yet, she knew he would already be dead before she reached them. She sucked in a breath and the little sound caused the vampire to pause. He roughly pulled his fangs from the man's neck and turned to look at her, eyes golden and mouth smeared with blood. The heartbeats in the room banged in his ears as he watched her pained expression. His hands shook and he itched to continue the job. He wanted to wrap his hand more tightly around the assassin's insipid throat. He wanted to feel his spine snap in half and feed off the pain provided from the injury.

He kept his eyes on Buffy and didn't move, keeping the smaller man in his steel grip. Buffy silently begged him not to continue and there was a long moment hanging in the balance when none of them knew if a life would be taken. Finally, his fangs slid back to their hiding place and he grunted in frustration, tossing the man across the room in the same fashion he had the others. He looked around the room from man to man to man, knowing he could kill all three of them and wanting to. Acutely judging all of their positions, he stood still and waited.

"I saved you," Buffy said, clearing her throat, "Now it's time for you to save yourselves."

"We have orders," the wounded man said, his voice trembling as he held the gash in his neck.

"Do you even have a sense of survival?" Buffy asked.

"Both of you," he said, looking from Faith to Buffy, "are disgraces to the Council. No Slayers who have committed the crimes the two of you have were allowed to live."

"We," Buffy said, nodding at Faith, "are the Chosen Ones. No one will keep us from our calling. Not even the Council."

"You trust her?" he snorted, looking over the dark haired Slayer with disgust, "She tried to kill you. You put her in a coma and you expect me to believe that the two of you are fit to fight the forces of darkness? You are the forces of darkness. We won't stop until you are-"

His words were cut off when a bullet tore through his chest. He screamed in pain before he slumped to the floor in a lifeless heap. The other two assassins were taken out by bullets from the same gun. Each was hit once with a chilling preciseness that only comes from someone who has killed before.

"Giles," Buffy whispered, staring at the gun in his hand until it disappeared into the tweed pocket of his jacket.

"I think you mean ‘Ripper'," Spike said from the top of the stairs. He began his descent with Drusilla wobbling unsteadily at his side.

"Indeed," Giles said with a curt nod, "But how would you know that name?"

"Your anger," Drusilla whispered, licking her dry lips, "it fills the room. It consumes and dances."

"They wouldn't have ever stopped, Buffy," Giles said, returning his gaze to his charge, "They are trained for one thing only. They could not have returned to England until you were dead. They would have stopped at nothing."

"But...but you killed them," Buffy replied, still staring at the hand that had pulled the trigger.

"There was no other way."

Next

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