Capsized Delusions

DISCLAIMER: Don't own them. Of course.
DISTRIBUTION: Of course. Please just let me know.

SPOILERS: This begins during "Beer Bad." Angel has kept the Gem of Amara, instead of destroying it and goes to Sunnydale to pay Parker a little visit. Chaos ensues.

FEEDBACK: Please give me my fix! Please!!

RATING: It will be NC-17 (she sings with her head thrown back in laughter), as if anyone expected anything else besides a dark, sexy, naked vampire! Right now it's probably PG-13 for language.

LYRICS: All lyrics are from Live.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This is in response to Lela Rose's request. You want Angel to get his revenge on Parker? Coming right up...*G*


now don't you know, i'll never be the same again
i, i want to walk in the sun
i am alive and well again

Angel strolled across the UC Sunnydale campus, absently spinning the Gem of Amara on his finger, assuring himself that it was still there to protect him. A vampire walking in the sunshine was unnatural. Being a vampire in itself was unnatural. Even more unnatural than being a vampire was one who was walking in the sun. He felt his skin tingling with the slightest fear that the laws of nature would change their minds and ignite him. But the air was radiant and frolicked across the grass, rippling it; the warmth from the sun snuggled over his body and he felt as if he should feel happy and well...light in the light.

What he felt was the overwhelming power of the stone on his finger, making him invincible. He tasted the spice of revenge in his mouth for the man who had slighted his mate. And the flavor was enticing, shameless, brutal. Angel didn't need a mirror to see that his eyes were narrowed in predatory warning for every male who walked by, silently challenging each to be the one who carried Buffy's scent.

He felt her presence rolling over him, beating him more soundly than the sun's rays and he gravitated toward it, forgetting for whole seconds at a time that he was here to defend her honor. He found it mildly humorous that he had to become a blood sucking fiend, "The Scourge of Europe," before he could be concerned with honor. Before he was a vampire, when he had his soul originally, he was just as concerned about chivalry and honor as he was when he lost his soul, that is, not at all. He perversely screwed wenches when he was Liam and killed with even less trepidation when he was Angelus. Soul or no, he didn't give a fuck about lives and feelings. When he regained his soul, he still didn't, or couldn't, care about the humans who scurried around him. He was thankful he had the strength to allow them to live. But Buffy awakened in him the protectiveness and old fashion morals that he never possessed before. She made him want to force the whole world to its knees in worship of her. She made him want to destroy anything that hurt her.

(It's called addiction, Angel. We all have it. - I believe yours is named Slutty the vampire Slayer.)

Somewhere between the hot pokers that Spike and his maniacal friend had forced into him, the smooth classical sounds of Mozart and the story of the wrongs that had occurred between Buffy and her newest lover, Angel lost his redemptive goals. A short time was spent brooding, for Angel anyway, before he headed for the Hellmouth. He didn't want to help the hopeless, he wanted to hurt one stupid college boy again and again.

He walked over the grass, feeling the new texture that day put on it, feeling like an interloper in an alternate dimension. He didn't belong here. The ring, loud and screaming in his body, did not belong on his finger or on that of any other creature of the night. But he would allow it to remain in one piece long enough to reclaim what was his. No fucking college boy was going to hurt his mate and be allowed to walk upright.

Buffy's heartache beckoned him from across the quad and he went to it, answering her call. He felt the eyes of the students on him as he walked. He knew he didn't belong here, but he was going to make sure that by the time he was finished, Parker didn't belong here either.


when all that's left to do
is reflect on what's been done
this is where sadness breaths
the sadness of everyone

Psychology 101 was quickly becoming the longest class Buffy had since her altercation with Parker Abrams. She glanced at the clock, then at Parker and his newest conquest a few rows below and then disappeared into another graveyard daydream of how she could save him, impress him, make him want her again. 9 ½ minutes remained in the class and she shifted uncomfortably next to Willow, wishing this was the sort of class she could just skip without being booted from it, wishing that Parker wasn't in the room.

She bolted upright in her chair, her mind jarred from her reverie when she felt Angel's presence. He was there but he couldn't be, could he? Buffy didn't need a window in the room to know it was another sunny, bright day in Sunnydale. But he was there and coming closer. Her skin was already moving toward the door, as goose bumps prickled over her skin.

"What's wrong?" Willow whispered, almost inaudibly. Buffy shook her head vigorously, indicating that she wasn't about to open her mouth and let Angel come pouring from it. She rubbed her arms as a chill covered her. She began gathering her things, preparing to bolt from the room when the class ended, planning on her search route.

Buffy spent the last few minutes of class, stirring in her seat as her mind raced of why he was there and how he could be in the middle of the day. The Gem of Amara sprang to mind and she immediately felt an odd feeling come over her.

Angel. In the sunshine.

Angel. In the day.

Angel, so much closer to alive.

Realizing the urgency of the moment so much more clearly, her eyes wandered back over to Parker and the girl he was whispering to. Angel couldn't possibly know about him, could he? Guilt sprang free from logic as it painted her body in slippery strokes. She had nothing to feel guilty about, she sternly reminded herself. She had a right to be with Parker. He left her. For a normal life.

A normal life? How very fucking funny that was.


he said, he said, he said
"there was nothing to fear, boy"
and he said, he said, he said
"worthless are your tears, boy"

Angel wished there were shadows to melt into as students came streaming from the building that housed his ex-lover. He stood off to the side, under a tree, watching the glowing, sleepy bodies emerge from class and from the building into the sun. The surreal feeling increased every moment he stayed in the day. As Buffy's scent attacked him from the exit of the building, he stepped forward scanning the tanned student bodies. He growled inwardly when he didn't see her. That could only mean one thing. He was there.

Angel moved onto the path, blending himself into the crowd, scanning the male population in the near vicinity. It took three minutes or less to find the boy...dark and attractive, whispering into a pretty girl's ear. Buffy's scent was intermingled with that of a dozen other girls on the boy and that knowledge alone was enough to incite sweet visions of one broken neck in Angel's mind.

When Parker wasn't kissing the girl, he was murmuring sweet nothings. Bloodlust like he hadn't felt in a very long time stood up and waved inside the vampire's body as Parker told her she was beautiful. And she was beautiful. But Parker's compliment was verbal foreplay, a step leading to goodbye. Angel knew those words. As his former self, as Liam, he had mastered the art that Parker was currently bumbling through. Before he could stop himself, before he could plan an artful terrorizing, Angel's arm snapped out and grabbed the boy by the nape, pulling him back like a kitten.

"What the..." Parker's voice said, shocked at the attack and met the deep brown eyes of one very angry vampire standing in the sunlight. His hand tightened, forming a vice on the boy's delicate neck...his too delicate neck. He couldn't help but remember what fragile human bones feel like when they snap in his hands, how simple it is to make them fracture and split.

Angel wasn't sure what he hated more, Parker or what he saw of the boy inside himself. He used to be that despicable user and he had spent years killing it inside himself. Now he wanted to kill it inside Parker, rip it out of his flesh and dangle it before his pretending, sensitive eyes. The violence was almost revered by the vampire, as he felt it rise up inside him. He wanted to lick blood from the boy's throat and watch as tears of pain squeezed from his eyes. He couldn't wait to purge his mate's scent from the boy's warm body. He wanted it so badly his hands were shaking and his eyes were flashing golden, iridescent.

"I'd like to talk to you for a second," Angel said between clenched teeth, forcing his eyes to return to brown and human.

"Who the hell are you?" Parker said, trying to keep his voice from cracking in fear of the large and incredibly strong man who gripped his neck painfully.

"I'm a friend," Angel said, "Of Buffy Summers."

As if on cue, Buffy's hand landed on Angel's and ripped it away from Parker's neck. Angel looked down into the most beautiful and the most angry green eyes he had ever seen. Even in her anger, she was perfect. He forgot about revenge and violence as he stared at her in the sunshine, soaking it up and radiating it like a goddess. His mouth went dry and he gulped unneeded air as he looked down on her. Finally, her words began to register.

"What the hell are you doing?" She demanded, gaining a shocked look from Parker and his new girl.

"Buffy," he said, taking in her beauty with a revered awe.

"That's what I'd like to know," Parker said, reminding Angel of his presence. Angel's head turned slowly, refocusing on the target.

"I'll be glad to explain it to you," Angel said, taking a step toward the boy again, "Nice and slow."

"Godammit, Angel," Buffy said, pulling him back and then turned to Parker, "You need to get out of here."

"Gladly," he said, hurrying away trying not to crush the hand of his new girlfriend as he nearly tripped away. Angel watched him retreating a moment before turning to meet Buffy's pissed off expression and then on Willow and Oz.

"Hi Willow," Angel said lightly, nodding "Oz."

"Angel," Oz returned, nodding.

"Hi," Willow said, casting a sideways glance at her friend and then returning to Angel, "Oz was right. You are really pale."

"Yeah, well, there hasn't been a lot of opportunity to tan in the past 200 years," Angel said, trying to half smile at least, but Buffy's stare blocked his attempt.

"We've got that thing," Oz said, taking Willow's hand, hinting their exit.

"Yeah," Willow added, "That thing. And I think we're late."

"See ya around," Oz said, as he walked away with Willow, who had already started to whisper in his ear.


i alone love you
i alone tempt you
i alone love you
fear is not the end of this

Buffy and Angel made their way in an angry tromp across campus as Buffy sputtered her objections, "You can't just come here and start beating people up! You left."

"I know," he answered.

"You were supposed to let me have a normal life and then the first time someone hurts me, you come running to hurt them back! You're supposed to be the old, wise and mature one. You're supposed to be in LA doing whatever the hell you do there," she yelled, trying not to look at him. Angel in the sun, walking by her side. Some food and a couple of ants and this could be a picnic. His pale skin seemed to glow in the daylight, darkening his eyes, making them a portal, sucking at her soul.

"I know," he repeated, not bothering to object. What was the point? It was all he could do to keep his eyes trained on the path before them and not on her, blinding him with her utterly amazing luminescence.

"Are you just going to be saying that all damn day?" she said, stopping and making the mistake of facing him.

"No," he answered, "I know I have no right to be here, but I am. I shouldn't be mad but I am. I should be in LA, you're right, but I'm not."

"What were you planning on doing to Parker?"

"So that's his name," Angel said, making a mental note.

"How did you even know about him?"

"Well," Angel said, "Spike paid me a little visit to try and get his ring back. While he was torturing me, along with a friend of his, he told me about your lover." The last word came out cracked and bleeding.

"Don't look at me like you have a right to be jealous," she said a little too weakly. The pain in his eyes was almost more than she could stand.

"I know I don't," he said, clearing his throat and looking away from her, across the manicured grass. He couldn't look at her anymore. Not without wanting to touch her, imagining someone else touch her. Now that he had seen the boy, he knew his nightmares would be filled with visions of her in Parker's unworthy arms. He held still as he felt a shudder coming on.

"You didn't answer my first question. What were you planning on doing to him?"

"I don't know," Angel answered truthfully and then quietly added, "I wanted to hurt him."

His eyes betrayed his almost ruthless anger for the first time since she came on the scene. She shivered as his eyes flashed golden so quickly, she was almost convinced she imagined it. Tangible violence radiated off his cold body and she started to drown in it.

"You should...go back...h-home," she stuttered, forcing the words out of her dry throat, "I have class now."

"Go to class," he urged, regaining a moment of calm, "Buffy."

Her name sang from him, curling lust over his smooth lips. The baritone velvet of his voice when he spoke her name was a long forgotten pleasure that made her step a little closer. The Gem of Amara flashed in the sun as he pulled her against him, barring her against his hard chest as he devoured her lips. Her hands dove under his leather jacket and caressed him through his silk shirt. She slinked against him, responding to his touch. Students and other passersby, found themselves staring at the gorgeous couple who clung to each other, expelling forbidden love and lust in the air around them.

"I'm sorry," he said as he broke the kiss, staring into her swimming eyes.

"Me too," she answered and leaned her forehead against his chest, breathing deeply.

Any second she would step away. That's what she told herself, anyway. Any moment she would find the strength to go to class...

Yep, any time now...

Angel was the one who finally dislodged himself from temptation, stepping just outside of her reach. Even as his body moved away, he felt her resisting and begging him back, but she remained silent.

"Going to class," she mumbled, moving back a couple of inches to emphasize her point, "Are long are you staying?"

"I'm going to stay tonight," he admitted. Even as he tried to make himself lie, he knew he couldn't.


"Can we...can I take you out to dinner or something?" He asked with begging eyes, "I just want to you, see how you're doing."

"Angel," Buffy answered, planning to reject him but finding she couldn't, "maybe we can go for an early patrol together first?"

The broadest smile she had ever seen on his face appeared suddenly, mocking the sun.


Part 2


we could reminisce then you would go about your day

Angel watched Buffy walk toward her class and away from him. She didn't hurry, but sort of wandered away as if she wasn't sure where she was going or that she should even be going there. He stared at her back and it never even crossed his mind that she probably felt awkward walking away with his eyes burning into her. So he stood stock still in the center of campus as if time had stopped but only for him. Students moved around him and looked at him strangely as he watched the beautiful blonde girl in the distance.

Finally, he moved again, a statue coming to life. Now that the distraction was gone, he had time to focus on the matter at hand. He walked slowly, in an attempt to rationally think out his course of action. But he knew that even thinking about it, trying to talk himself out of it, was futile. He was going to make sure that Parker did not hurt her again. The only way to cement that was merciless, caustic...and necessary.

He turned and followed the path he had seen the boy travel when he allowed him to escape, feeling the ever growing anger fill his gut, twisting inside him like a thousand snakes of wrath. He knew that jealousy and rage were to be expected in this situation, but he was far beyond any kind of normal scope of emotions. It was almost as if the ring protected him from all dangers to him except for the mental elements. His hands were trembling with the need for blood, with the power he now possessed. The ring strengthened him more each day but his mind was breaking down under it. The sun's ultra violet light lapped at his skin, forming a hidden power he hadn't thought was possible to attain. It was overwhelming, terrifying, exhilarating.

He crept inside the building, and passed classrooms silently, feeling as if he had broken a seal of trust in his mate as he looked through the small square window of a lecture hall, finding his target. He growled with irritation that Parker was in the His lips curled in a silent snarl as he backed away from the window.

A plan was already beginning to form as he moved out in the strangely welcoming sunlight. He turned his face up and closed his eyes, soaking up rays that were long denied him. The infusing power of the day was forcing his body to shine with a thin layer of sweat, causing an almost imperceptible tremor in his hands and to keep his eyes their deep chocolate brown required demanding concentration that was impossible 100% of the time.

He knew it was the ring, altering his body, increasing his prowess of body and diminishing his efficacy of mind. He was changing but he didn't care. He had a task to complete and he wasn't removing the ring until that task was accomplished...completely.


oh now feel it comin' back again
like a rollin' thunder chasing the wind
forces pullin' from the center of the earth again
i can feel it

Buffy muttered, "Thank you," a little too loudly when her professor finally dismissed class. Having Angel in town and having classes too was like writing your memoirs on a rollercoaster - it just wasn't possible. Her concentration level was at an all time low and it was all she could do to decipher the words that were spoken around her.

She felt his presence crawling over her, tickling her skin, making little hairs stand up on her arms and her mind raced with memories, worries and hopeful thinking that led to less hopeful thinking. She knew she needed to be realistic about this. She needed to accept that he was not going to stay, they were not getting back together, there would be no more sweet kisses like the one on the quad where every muscle in her body cried out for him, knocking leaves off the trees in outrage when he broke the contact between them. There wasn't a future there. So she needed to deal with his coming and his leaving.

But she didn't want to and her whole body ached with the thought of him leaving. She wanted to run out and find him, share the sunlight with him, beg him to stay, convince him that the ring changed everything.

But the ring didn't change anything. It was all superficial. She knew that and she knew that he knew that. He was still a vampire and she was still The Slayer. There wasn't any real reason that they should be reunited...except for the little details that always seemed to escape them: true love, actual understanding, soul mates. You know, trivial things.

She was growing more and more cynical about life. And she was tired. Utterly exhausted, in fact. As she walked across campus in another identical, perfect California day, she thought about how easy it would be to stop all this, to go to him and tell him the truth - she loved him, she didn't want to live without him. Ring or no ring, darkness or light, every day without her soul mate was killing her inside.


the chills in your spine are oh, so sweet
people honor you so high

Doyle walked into the office and was surprised to find Cordelia there, glaring at him in the way that only she could. He scratched his tousled head and perched on the edge of her desk, looking into her angry eyes. He couldn't help the crooked smile that crossed his face. She was so damn beautiful and her anger only made him happy that she was focusing all her energy on him.

"What's th' matter, princess?"

"Where have you been?" She demanded, standing up abruptly, "Just because Angel isn't here, you think you shouldn't show up at all?"

"I'm here," he said, hopping off of the desk, "So I did show up, didn't I?"

She muttered under her breath and crossed the room, opening a file drawer, pushing a file in and slamming it closed.

"Did you put that in there alphabetically or do you have your own system?" He asked with a sparkle in his eyes.

"Is he just going to stay in Sunnydale and forget all about us?"

"Angel," Doyle said, nodding calmly at the change in subject, "He only just left."

"Yeah and he'll probably lose his soul and be all fangy and then I'll be out of a job. I need a paycheck while I wait for my inevitable stardom, but does he care about that? Oh no! All he wants to do is run to save Little Miss Fights A Lot and leave us here to starve."

"He's been gone like 8 hours," Doyle said, trying not to laugh, "Besides, the ring will protect ‘im. I don't think he'll lose his soul."

"How do you know?" She demanded, turning toward him, causing her dark mane of hair to fly around her.

"Dunno," he admitted, "Just think he's impervious to all harm. I think that includes the curse."

"You have so much to learn, little Irish man," she taunted, "Nothing is ever that easy. Something's going to happen!"

"How do you know that?" he asked gently, stepping closer to her.

"Because something always does!"


i'll kill you in my dreams
i turn the other cheek during the day

Parker Abrams looked like a treat, a sugar coated goodie to the flashing eyes of one very sunlight cloaked vampire. He followed him the equivalent of several city blocks across campus, stalking him and going unnoticed by the boy.

Parker was light on his feet, walking along with a couple of his friends. The boys talked and although Angel could clearly hear their conversation, he did not pay attention to what they were saying. In his mind, they were already captured and made prisoners. Controlled and urged on by the power of the ring and the need for revenge, he followed. In his eyes there was no fire, it was far too cold inside for that. The world was only finding him in small snatches, painting persuasion on his undead flesh.

Inside his soul, there was a whisper to stop it, to turn and go back to the life he was supposed to be leading, to help the hopeless he was supposed to be saving. The whisper begged him to clear this up, to shake himself free, pleaded with him that there was a choice to made. His conscience was crossing its broken fingers.

Angel made a choice. He ignored it. The little memories of why he left were escaping him. Buffy deserved more than the hand that Parker had dealt her. Someone deserved to die for this, for her. Taking note of the dorm that Parker went into, he turned and left with much difficulty. He had to wait just a little bit longer.


we could analyze the situation and be gone

Xander held a lighter up before Buffy and Willow as they sat around a table on campus.

"Rough day? Come on, Buff," Xander pleaded, flicking the lighter at them, "Be a lonely drunk. Rough day?"

"Stop flicking at me," Buffy said, drenched in thoughts of Angel and Parker.

"Work with me here," Xander whined, "I'm finally an essential part of your collegey life. No more looking down on the townie. I'm the new bartender over at the pub. Got my lighter, my rag, my empathy face."

"Aren't you too young to be a bartender?" Willow asked.

"Oh contraire, mon frere," Xander announced brightly.

"Mon frere means brother," Buffy corrected.

"Mon girl frere," Xander said, holding up a fake ID for their admiration, "Behold. Behold."

"I don't believe this is entirely on the up and up," Willow said, inspecting the ID with doubt on her face.

"What gives it away?" Xander asked, looking over it for the flaw that escaped him.

"Looking at it," Willow answered.

"Well, no one's going to see it anyway. Now I'm the bartender. I kick people out."

"You know," Buffy said, trying to take part in the conversation, trying to tear herself from the constant Angel invasion going on, "There's more to it than wiping and kicking. Mixing drinks for instance."

"Well, I've seen cocktail. I can do the hippy-hippy shake."

"Well, even if I had a pretend cigarette, I couldn't tell you my pretend problems," Buffy added, "The real ones have clogged up my head space."

"Oooh, unload ‘em right here, baby," Xander said excitedly, "Rough day? You wanna talk about it? Shutting up now."

"I'm pregnant by my stepbrother," Willow started in a faked drunken slur, "Who'd rather be with my best friend whose left me with no place to live. No food except this bottle of wild turkey which I drank all up."

Xander stared at his redheaded best friend with obvious confusion, until she clarified, "that was me being tanked and friendless for ya."

"Gets my Oscar nod."

"You know what?" Buffy announced, "It's class time."

"So are you going to come by tonight to the pub?" Xander asked, ignoring Buffy's comment about class.

"Oz. Bronze. Date," Willow said, in a very Oz-esque manner.

"You know maybe," Buffy said wistfully, "Maybe there's a way for him to stay. Now that he has the ring, there's a way. Right? Right?

"How's that fugue state coming along?" Xander asked Buffy with confusion.

"Angel," Willow answered.

"Dead Boy's here?" Xander groaned, lowering his head to his hands. And he thought Parker caused a cloud of doom. He felt as if he should already be running for cover.


but the beauty of this vision alone
just like yesterday's sunset
has been perverted by the sentimental
and mistaken for love

The sun was going to set soon and although the ring now protected him from the sun, Angel still felt the change inside him. From the time he fell on his knees before Darla and sipped the poisoned blood from her breast, he became a creature that dreads the night and eternally craves it.

Buffy was like the night - she enveloped, evolved, bloomed and destroyed. He was already settling into the memories, getting used to smelling her again, feeling her again, craving her again with the same intensity - more - than the night. But the night always bled into day and took his freedom. He found himself always waiting for both raging beauties and they both denied him, reminding him of what he could never have. Tonight was no different as he felt her tentative approach behind him.

"Hey," Angel said without tearing his eyes from the sunset blooming ahead. Buffy sank into the grass next to him and glanced at the incredible, flamboyant display for a moment before taking in the picture of Angel adoring it.

"Hey," she said, feeling the tension of sitting just a couple of inches from him, over a grave, against a headstone. Not so unlike what they had done so many times before but there was never a sunset in the mix before. There was never this feeling of awe blanketing him.

"I thought we were meeting after dark," he mumbled, flipping his eyes from one spectacular sight to another, caught in what he should be concentrating on.

"We were," she said, "But I forgot about the sunset and I...I wanted to share it with you."

She melted as he smiled slowly and put his arm around her after a moment's hesitation. He was relieved when she accepted his gesture and leaned against his chest. They stared at the horizon together and Buffy thought about how many of these she had taken for granted before, how many natural displays of twisted painted color she had drifted by before.

"I always wanted to do this with you," he said, resting his chin on the top of her silky, golden head.

"Me too," she answered.


Part 3

RATING: It will be NC-17 (she sings with her head thrown back in laughter), as if anyone expected anything else besides a dark, sexy, naked vampire! Right now it's probably R for violence.


put your soul in the water
and join me for a swim tonight

"Buffy? Rough Day? Wanna tell me about it?" Xander asked, standing at the bar, wishing he was on the other side of it instead, complaining about his rough day. Instead of becoming an accepted member of academia without actually having to deal with all the classes that came with it, he was treated like a...bartender. He had seriously misjudged the opportunities to join in the meat market from the other side of the bar.

"It's just...Parker's problem with intimacy turns out to be that he can't get enough of it. And knew it. I knew what he was. And I protected him from Angel! If he were tied and gagged and left in a cave that vampires happened to frequent it wouldn't really be like I killed him really." She said, as her eyes filled with tears and fell into a tangent, simply unable to keep her mouth closed, "And Angel is leaving. He took me out to dinner and then walked me home and didn't even kiss me goodbye. He treated me like I was just his ex and he's just going to go back to LA and leave me here. Again."

"Buffy," Xander said in an endeared warning.

"There's something wrong with me. No one wants to be with me. It's like I'm not good enough to stay with."


"I'm an idiot."

"No," Xander said, leaning over the bar, "You gotta stop being so hard on-"

"Hey," his new boss grunted, forcing him to remember he was there to serve alcohol to people who were mean and undeserving of his beer.

"I'm better," Buffy mumbled, trying to brighten up her face, "This has helped."

"Do not go anywhere," Xander said and jumped back into the fray, thankful that the "hippy-hippy shake" mostly consisted of serving beer and not learning a thousand other complicated drinks. Buffy sat waiting for less than a minute before she stood to go and bumped into the first warm body.

"Oh no," she said to the upperclassman she had just tried to tunnel into, "I'm so sorry. I just keeping running into people today."

"I can't imagine anybody minding," he said, looking her over thoroughly as three of his friends came up to join him in the visual mauling of The Slayer, "You're not thinking about leaving are you? Because we have a strict policy against you leaving. At least until you've had a drink."

"Yeah, well, what my friend is just saying is you shouldn't be sad and alone right now," said his friend, butting ahead to speak directly with her, "I mean, you're a very beautiful girl who should be covered with men. And, could we be those men? It's on us."

Buffy glanced across the bar to see Parker leaving, nearly wearing the girl he was with. Revulsion shuddered through her and her hand shot out on impulse, taking the cold drink from his hand. Taking a sip, she hoped it would take her from the memories that kept clarifying themselves in her mind.

Angel. Parker. Screw them both.


to be alive
i say that the colors must swirl
and i believe
that maybe today
we will all get to appreciate the beauty of gray

The bar was crowded and human voices rose ever higher and louder to travel over the din, but even from across the room, in the shadows, Angel could hear her. Four men refilled her glass and regurgitated random, obscure quotes from textbooks. Old ideas recycled into new, if he wasn't so madly angry and jealous, he might think they were funny. Foolish young men who think their theories are new ideas. He wished he could tell them that few things in this world are new.

He watched them watch her and even as they approached his mate, he knew their agenda. He couldn't help the low growl that traveled through his body as she leaned forward to listen, flashing the tanned, perfect skin at her modest neckline. They don't deserve the glimpse of skin they get, the opportunity for her ear. Angel waited for one of them to touch her, to brush her fingers as they poured the beer into her glass, knowing that Parker was escaping with his newest lover but he couldn't turn away - not with those four men hanging on her. Guilt ruffled over his body as he looked on, knowing that part of the pain coming from her eyes was his and not Parker's alone. Not anymore. He cursed silently as he realized that once again, with the best of intentions, he had hurt her.

Angel glanced over at the bar and wished he could get a strong Irish stout, to dull his senses even slightly from the painful reality he was lurking in, but Xander was the bartender. Revealing himself to him would be a step away from walking directly up to Buffy, so he turned back towards her and the men who were currently draping their eyes on his mate. He narrowed his eyes and clenched his hands to keep still the tremors that were becoming almost a normal event in the past few days. He paused, deciding to look on just a little longer before he moved on to find his revenge.


what was pliable in love
is now hard and crystalized

Buffy could feel the fast effects of the beer in her body. Her vision had started to blur and the tips of her fingers tingled against the cool glass. She swayed in her seat as the four boys spoke to her, rambling on, as if their big words would impress her. She didn't care as the comfort of intoxication began to have its way with her. She felt like she was already being held and caressed as she lifted the newly refilled glass to her lips. If she didn't know better, she would have thought that another pair of eyes were on her besides the four men and Xander's watchful eyes from across the bar. If she didn't know better, she would think that the undead soulful eyes of her ex-lover were burning into her, instead of off brooding in the dark somewhere.

She shrugged off the thought and tried to listen to the young men around her. The more she drank, the simpler things became. Theories and ideas began to disappear into the straight lined absolutes in life: Beer tasted good. Boys giving her undivided attention was good. Parker was bad. Angel was going back to LA. Things were getting easier and so she pushed her glass over to be refilled with the foamy brew.


won't hesitate
to leave you there, by yourself
chained to fate, yeah

The next night, Parker opened his eyes and felt a dull pain thudding inside his head. He started to raise his hand to touch the place where his temple throbbed when he realized that he was bound. The cold metal of the chains issued a loud warning of his fate and he began looking around the large room. Seconds later, he settled on the large frame of the man whose large hand had nearly broken his neck before. He groaned and began to struggle in vain as the glowering, dark haired man stood lazily and approached him.

"Glad you finally decided to wake up," Angel said, smiling coldly at his captive.

"What...why..." Parker mumbled, trying to deal with his situation, but his senses came far short of dealing with the situation.

"Two intriguing questions," Angel answered, "and the fact that you haven't figured it out yet makes me feel better about bringing you here. You're too stupid to be walking the streets."


"Finally, you're with me!" Angel exclaimed, moving closer.

"She said she didn't have a boyfriend," Parker groaned, pulling against his chains harder, in a panic, as the man drew closer. In his eyes was a deadly determination and at the same time, an utter glee that the word "disconcerting" didn't begin to cover.

"She doesn't," Angel said, cocking his head to the side for a second to look over the boy and then struck out, backhanding the boy and grinning freely at the sound he made in pain and of the appearance of blood at his mouth to match the crusted crimson at his temple, "You just don't get it do you?"

"I'm sorry," Parker groaned, "for whatever I did, I'm sorry."

"You think random apologies will make this disappear? No, no, no. You need to learn something from this or the whole exercise is meaningless," Angel said as he twisted his face into the demon, widening his golden eyes at the boy. Growling, he added, "We're going to start with your moral structure. You need to be broken down, boy."

"Oh God," Parker yelled, as a terrified scream filled the mansion's great room, "Help! Somebody help me!"

"Go ahead," Angel said, stepping closer, "Scream. It just makes it better for me."


the world is burning down
can't you smell the smoke in the air?

"Buffy! Buffy!" Xander shouted running through the quad in search of the cave Slayer. He found her standing in the middle of the grass, looking around in confusion, "Aha. Can't find the beer. Good. Freshman girls unable to hold the beer, shouldn't have it. Get into trouble."

Buffy jumped away from him, as he moved closer. Eyeing him and shifting her weight from one muscular leg to the other, she prepared to attack.

"Hey, we're good," Xander said, moving toward her more slowly, "Remember the boy? Boy smells good, yeah? Is there any part of Buffy still in there?"

Smell. Buffy's prehistoric mental process caught up with Slayer senses and she sniffed the air, inhaling the acrid scent of smoke deeply.

"Oh no," Xander groaned as he saw her prepare to lunge forward.

"Fire Bad!" Buffy screamed, as she looked into the sky and saw the smoke billowing up, filling the night sky. Dodging Xander, she ran toward the danger.


the felix of your truth will always break it
and the iris of your eye will always shake it
and the armies, the armies i have created
will always hate it
will always bait you on
until i take it back
deep inside my head

"If..." Parker groaned, hanging limply by his chains, struggling to see through the blood that was stinging his eyes, "if she's not your girlfriend what is she to you? What...what are you?"

"Vampire," Angel said, leaning over the boy as he cowered back against the wall, "You know, creature of the night? Ring a bell?"

"I didn't think vampires were real...and you were in the sun...before."

"Welcome to the world below," Angel whispered, "I'm not like other vampires. Of course, I'm feeling a little more human, considering your status in the cycle of things."

"I didn't do anything to her," Parker begged, looking up at the horrible face of the demon looming over him.

"Are you getting more moronic as we go along or is it just me?" Angel said, making sure his black boot made firm contact with Parker's lying mouth as he kicked up and he delighted in the yelp of pain he got as the boy finally fell on the floor, holding his mouth.

"Why are you even protecting her?" Parker yelled, spraying blood on the floor as he held onto as much of his bravery as he could, "Shouldn't you want to kill her?"

"No," Angel growled, "I only want to kill you."

"Please...I'm sorry..."

"What are you sorry for?" Angel said, admiring the lush color of his blood.

"For sleeping with Buffy."

"You think I'm angry because you slept with her?" Angel asked incredulously.

"That's not why you want to kill me?"

"No, you little fuck," Angel roared, picking him up and slammed his thin body against the hard wall he was chained to, "You used her! You treated her like a whore and then tossed her aside. That's why I want to kill you, that's why I want to torture you until you can no longer scream in pain."

"I was just having fun," Parker said weakly, trying to burrow himself in the wall rather than have the vampire's cold hands on him.

"So am I," Angel answered, dropping him and watching with pleasure as he landed on his knees. The slap of his kneecaps on the marble floor was warm and inviting to his enraged ears.


but the beauty of this vision alone
i can't shake from my tree just yet
it keeps invading all my private moments
listen to me now

Willow sat limply on the bench, breathing deeply the fresh air, trying find her lungs again. She scooted nervously away from the cave Slayer who petted her, while crouching on the bench next to her, looking over her and sniffing. Xander and Giles looked around them, both feeling the need to laugh with relief as they watched Buffy's strangely devolved behavior.

"Did you guys have enough fun for one night?" Xander asked brightly.

"Yes. Please," Willow said, still gulping air.

"Buffy tired," Buffy said weakly.

"And was there a lesson is all this, huh?" Xander taunted condescendingly, "What did we learn about beer?"

"Foamy," The Slayer offered.

"Good, just as long as that's clear," Xander said, as he watched Buffy wander over to the mini van where her fellow cave people were trapped, "Anyways, I think that the boys in the car are contained for the time being. This will give them some time to ponder the geo-political ramifications of being mean to me!"

"Who's van is that?" Giles asked as Buffy pressed her hand against the glass.

Boys trapped, she thought, slapping her hand on the glass to announce her thoughts.

"I dunno," Xander answered, settling on the bench next to Willow, "Wasn't locked."

"Angel," Buffy harumphed, turning to face her civilized friends. Now that the danger was passed, her body adjourned against the buoyant grace of his presence.

"No Angel," Xander said, standing, "Angel bad. Buffy needs to go home and sleep off the beer."

"Buffy want Angel!" she yelled, holding her stick up in warning.

"Buffy," Giles said gingerly, "You ought to go home with Willow. You can see Angel tomorrow before he leaves for LA."

"Buffy want Angel NOW!" She yelled and ran off toward the beckoning call of her mate.


Part 4

RATING: NC-17 Sexy, naked vampire coming up!


pick me up and put me on the ground
set me up and spin me all around
no, you are not the one i wish to see
no, sir

Buffy tore into the mansion and stared at Parker's chained form with confusion. Not Angel. Bad Parker not Angel. The feeling of him was fleeting from this place and she tried to focus her cluttered thoughts on the vampire, rather than the human.

"Buffy," the bloody boy groaned, struggling back to his feet, resting his weight on shaky, bruised legs.

"Parker," she said with anger flashing in her eyes, limping closer to him, dragging her stick with her as she went.

"Buffy, please help me," Parker pleaded, pleading with the eyes she used to trust and adore, "That guy, on the quad yesterday, he...he's a vampire and he wants to kill me! Please, I think he'll be back soon."

"Where Angel?" she grunted, not moving to set him free. Parker immediately saw that something was wrong with her and couldn't figure out what, but he ignored that problem and focused on himself, "He left and said he'd be back."

"I'm back. I just wanted to get a bite to eat. I'm not ready to kill you yet and I was getting peckish," Angel crooned as he walked back in the room. Angel's confidence faded as he saw Buffy standing there.

"Oh God," Parker groaned.

"Buffy," Angel said, shocked, the smile fading from his ridged face. When she turned on him and began running full force toward him, he moved into a defensive stance thinking she was about to hit him, but she molded herself against him, nuzzling his neck. She sniffed his cold flesh, rubbing her hands on his broad shoulders. Mmmm...leather, incense and passion.

"Angel smell good," she grunted, moving in closer to him, "Buffy miss Angel."

"What's wrong with you, love?" He said, pulling her back shoulder length and met her hazel eyes with his golden ones. She looked at him, answering his question with her questioning eyes. Shaking off his current state of disarray, Angel glanced briefly at Parker before tugging her toward the door, "Come on, baby, we need to go see Giles."

"Buffy not want Giles," she said, pulling him back, "Buffy want Angel."

She launched herself against him, slamming her lips against his, kissing him roughly around his fangs and breaking her own skin in the process. She didn't hear Parker's horrified gasp as she attacked her ex-lover, the demon who was currently held him prisoner.


warm bodies, i sense are not machines

Giles, Xander and Willow watched tiredly as the neanderthal version of The Slayer went off to find her vampire.

"Guess we'd better go after her," Willow said, rising to her feet and smoothing her tousled red hair.

"Perhaps," Giles said.

"What? You don't think we should go after her?" Xander said, turning in to look at the watcher with shock.

"Well, I supposed if anyone will be able to handle her, it would be Angel. She can't hurt him, since he has the ring and he will keep her from harming anyone else...or herself."

"Then can I go to bed now?" Willow asked quietly. She loved Buffy and wanted to help, but after the fire, all the excitement and worrying about her future with Oz, she was simply beat.

"Go to bed, Willow," Giles ordered lightly, "We'll check on Buffy in the morning."

"What if...what if she...well, you know how she was sniffing me before," Xander said, stumbling through his reasoning.

"They'll be fine," Giles said, clearing his throat and attempting to sound confident, even though he was far from that snug feeling. They all looked out over the path she had taken, trying to decide if leaving her with the vampire really was the best choice.


our love is like water
pinned down and abused
for being strange

"Buffy," Angel gasped, pulling away from her lips once he tasted her powerful blood on his tongue. He changed back to his human face slowly and looked down at her, bracing her at an arm's length. She squirmed back into his arms, rubbing his broad chest with her little hands and pressing her slim hips into his rapidly growing arousal. She bit his neck in lusty invitation and growled lightly.

"God, Buffy!" Parker screamed, reminding the couple of his presence, "You're...what are you doing? Help me!"

"Parker bad," she said, turning around, curling her words angrily around her lips. Angel couldn't help the smile that returned to his face. Buffy wasn't going to stop him this time.

"Yes, love," Angel agreed.

"Buffy, please," Parker begged from his cowering place against the wall, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"You didn't mean to hurt her?" Angel asked, nearly shouting, "You know, I'd really love to know just what you meant to do then."

"Buffy want Angel," she said proudly, turning away from the boy and back to her vampire. Behind her back, Parker was safely out of sight and the delicious form of what she had always wanted was before her. She ripped open his shirt and kissed his cold chest, "Buffy love Angel."

Parker shivered with revulsion as he looked on, "You've slept with her?" He began to choke as he felt the bile rise in his throat. He had slept with a girl who had slept with a vampire.

Angry puppy. Everything was slowly clicking into place as he nervously realized blood was flowing freely from his head and mouth.

"Buffy," Angel protested, with much difficulty, "Come on, baby, you have to stop. Something is wrong with you."

"Angel not want Buffy?" She asked with tearful eyes. Even with her simple speech the implication was flashing in neon lights as Angel's heart sank in his chest. She thought Parker didn't want her and now he didn't want her either.

"No, that's not it," he said, pulling her close again. She twisted away and stalked over to Parker, who was still protesting and begging to be saved in the background. She swung her stick, striking the side of his head that hadn't been bleeding before she struck him and smiled as he fell to the floor once more. She spun around and faced Angel.

"Angel want Buffy?" she demanded, dropping her limb which cracked from the force of her blow on Parker.

"Yes," he said, nodding vigorously, " have to understand -"

Buffy interrupted his words, as she crouched and swept his feet out from under him. She hopped on top of him, straddling his arousal and pressing in. She ripped the front of her shirt away to bare her breasts for her lover's eyes. He groaned in pain of trying to resist her, melting from the heat that radiated from her exceptionally beautiful flesh. He reached up and cupped her breasts. She purred, pressing against his hands as he touched her.

"Mate," she commanded. The double entendre came fully clear as she slid back to release his erect cock, "Buffy Mate."

From the moment her hand touched his arousal, any noble intentions that had remained disappeared. Angel flipped them, simultaneously rending her pants from her body to expose her to him. Without pause, he plunged inside her waiting heat and she arched up violently to meet him. As they rutted like wild beasts on the marble floor, Parker laid unconscious a few feet away.


our love is like water. angels pinned down and abused

Angel woke with the sunrise, feeling the blissfully naked flesh of his lover against him. He kissed her sleeping head and remembered the night's events. Looking over, he saw a very bloody and emotionally scarred Parker looking over at them nervously. Angel glared at him but said nothing. He rose and went into the bedroom and returned with a blanket, which he wrapped around Buffy and carried her into the bedroom. He returned, having covered himself with a new pair of black pants and looked down at Parker.

"Are you going to kill me?" the boy asked.

"I want to," Angel said, nodding.

"But you're not going to?" he asked hopefully.

"She gets upset when I kill people," he answered, settling back against the wall. As he pressed his bare shoulders there, he realized that his skin was covered with claw marks from the wild mating last night. Parker waited in silence for the answer, watching Angel's calm face, unaware that beneath his calm veneer there was a battle for control. Angel fought as one side of his mind told him to rip out the boy's throat and the other reminded him of who he was supposed to be, of what his fealty in life was. Both heads turned as a muffled rustling came from the bedroom.

Minutes passed as both sets of male eyes stayed trained on the door. Buffy finally appeared in one of Angel's shirts, peaking out and then closing her eyes in pain as she realized that the muddled memories of the previous night had actually come to pass.

"Angel?" she asked, looking from him to Parker and back again. At least the horrible excuse for a one night stand was still alive.

"Yes," he said nodding and meeting her eyes, knowing she was searching for a soul.

"Thank God," she said, sagging against the doorway. After a moment, she straightened and flashed anger at him, "Now what the hell do you think you're doing?"

Tiny feet padded on the floor as she approached him. Pointing at Parker, she yelled, "What in the hell made you think that this was okay?"

"He deserved it," Angel said, pulling away from the wall and gesturing at Parker too, "He's a horrible excuse for a human being! And people call me a fucking demon? What do you call that?"

"Go home, Angel," she said, going over to release the prisoner.

"Buffy," Angel said sternly, flinching as her skin came in contact with Parker's, "Don't touch him. I'm not done with him yet."

Emotions stirred in his cold blood as he crossed the room and pulled her roughly away from him. She pivoted and punched him hard in the face, causing him to step back several paces.

"Back off," she warned, bending to release him again and got half of his shackles off before Angel came over, demon intact, glaring with golden eyes. She turned and engaged. Slayer and vampire, soul mates and lovers, battled over a boy that they both despised. Finally, she knocked him down and stomped her foot down on his chest as Parker looked on. This little blonde girl had overpowered the vampire? What?

Angel couldn't help but let his gaze travel up her shapely leg and under the shirt she wore to spy her glistening sex. He smiled at her arousal and remained under the pressure of her foot, but allowed one hand to smooth over her calf.

"Don't change the subject," she said irritably even as she shivered from his touch, awash in waves of desire for him even through her fury.

"Let me finish my lesson," Angel said, allowing his hand to move up to her thigh.

"I can't," she said and pulled away just as his fingers reached the apex of her thighs. She hurried across the room and pulled Parker free. She ran, nearly dragging him out into the sunshine, momentarily forgetting that Angel could follow.

Just outside of the mansion, she pulled away from him as if his skin were burning her and continued ahead, ignoring the stones that occasionally pressed into her bare feet.

"I suggest you hide for a while," she said bitterly as she walked away.

"Buffy, thank you for saving me," Parker said as he hobbled after her, "I really am sorry."

"So am I," she said, with a glare of violence in her eyes. She picked up the pace to get away from him and he followed not attempting to catch up with her, unsure if she meant that she was sorry for what had happened to him or if she was regretting that she saved him.


Part 5

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Welcome to the extra smutty section.

P.S. Hope - thanks for your B/A idea. I'm interested in what you thought of this - I know it's not exactly what you were thinking of, but I have that little nugget stored in my mind. I might be able to swing it later.



i have forever, always tried
to stay clean and constantly baptized

Buffy ran across town, onto campus, up the back stairwell and into her room, holding Angel's shirt around her naked body as she leaned against the door. She struggled to catch her breath and was reflecting on who might have seen her when Willow's green eyes fluttered open to look at her disheveled roommate.

"Are now?" Willow asked inside a yawn.

"Mostly," Buffy said, settling on her neatly made bed, "I still feel...a little strange."

"But you don't have a club anymore," Willow offered brightly as she sat up in bed, "And you're speaking in almost complete sentences."

"Yeah," Buffy said, taking inventory of her mental process and finding it far from complete, but better. Things were still fuzzy and her body was still flushing with the memory of Angel's touch, his hand sliding up her leg, inching over her inner thigh.

" something happen with Angel?" Willow asked, leaning on one arm as she waited for Buffy's response.

"Oh yeah," Buffy answered, looking down at the shirt that dwarfed her small body. Willow said, nothing, waiting for her to go on. Silence filled the room, until Buffy began speaking again, "Alright! I'll tell you. Angel kinda kidnaped and tortured Parker last night..."

"Is he evil?" Willow asked, glancing over Buffy's outfit - or lack thereof.

"I don't think so," Buffy said, standing to get her robe from the hook on the closet door, "Just pissed. Although, he did seem a little off."

"Did know...with him?"

"Yes," Buffy said slipping into her robe quickly. She turned back toward Willow, holding his shirt in her hands gently as if she expected him to materialize and fill it again.

"But he's still got a soul?"

"I think the Gem of Amara protected us," Buffy said, "But something else is wrong. He's kinda ruthless. I mean, I can see Angel trying to beat the crap out of Parker, but not...not what he did."

"Parker deserves to be tortured, the big poophead," Willow said with a grin crossing her face, which she quickly wiped away, "I mean, it's horrible what Angel did. Very bad. Uh-huh."

"Will!" Buffy exclaimed looking over at her friend with shock.

"Well, he does need to learn that there are consequences for treating people like he does. It's not right."

"Angel almost killed him," Buffy said with a shiver, "And then I had to save his stupid ass! And I didn't want to. A big part of me wanted to walk away and let Angel have him. It was scary."

"Buffy," Willow said, scooting to the edge of the bed so she could meet her friend's eyes directly, "You know you wouldn't have let Angel hurt him. It's okay that you're still upset. He hurt you."

"Being with Angel again," Buffy said, looking off at the wall with glazed eyes, "It was...Willow, I don't think I can let him go again. I think...I might not live through it if he leaves again."


so what he was may have been beautiful
but the pain is right now
and right here

Angel watched from the doorway as Buffy pushed Parker away from her and left him alone and hobbling back toward home. He gripped the doorway in an attempt to keep himself from running over and snapping the boy's neck before Buffy could turn around and save him. He knew that there was something inside him that was not on caliber and it was making violence so much more attractive than it had been last week.

The knowledge saved Parker's life, as Angel willed himself to stay put and watch them walk away. He let his eyes glide over his lover, nude under his silk shirt. Her perfect legs were flashes of toned muscle as she hurried away, holding the large garment close to her lithe body. His desire for her reared up and was not sated, as he waited for her to disappear from sight. He wished he could call her back. He wished that a call from him would make her turn around and run back to him. But he knew it wouldn't.

Parker was staring at her body as well, although the large shirt completely covered her, the memory of her flushed flesh against the cold skin of the vampire who had tortured him was fresh in his mind. She was so strong and he still couldn't believe how she had taken Angel down with ease. He thought back to their night together. She could have easily broken him just as the vampire did. He picked up the pace toward his dorm, knowing that he would have to keep looking over his shoulder for Angel. How long would he have to fear the wrath of the vampire who was in love with a very strong human girl?


just realize your senses
and realize your earth
just realize your essence first

Angel turned and went back inside the mansion. He headed for the bathroom to shower and thought about what his next action should be. Should he just leave and go back to LA? Even asking himself the question was fruitless. He wasn't going to leave until he made things better with Buffy. He wasn't going a step near the town border until he was able to touch her again.

He stripped off his pants and stepped into the shower, ducking under the warm cascading water. His arousal ached, throbbed for the heat he had just barely immersed himself in the night before. He wanted more and he released a ragged groan as he leaned against the cool tile of the shower wall and tightened his hand around his cock.

The memory of her wild eyes, blonde hair tangled in his fingers, her warm, supple skin raging against his on the mansion floor, caused his hand to pump faster. Her screams for him while she bucked against him, her guttural demands, ordering him to mate with her harder, faster, forced his teeth to grind in his mouth as he jogged his hand up and down, feeling his climax nearing.

He growled, knocking his head against the wall as he spilled his seed onto the shower floor. He couldn't hide from the daylight, from his Slayer's lithe body, when the ring on his finger gave him freedom to walk out the door and find her. He washed himself quickly, threw on clothes and moved toward the door to find her. When he first stepped into the daylight, his body involuntarily shrinked back for a second and then he took another step forward into the light that couldn't harm him.

He smiled as he moved into a dignified gait in the day. Invincibility was crying out in his mind, taking over his sensibilities. He would find Buffy, then Parker. Nothing could stop him.


in the presence of my struggle

Sunlight lazily made its way through the office windows as Cordelia blinked open her hazel eyes. The light snoring coming from over her shoulder made her jerk and turn her head to look at the warm body against hers. He stirred from her body's movement against his and opened his eyes. The corners of his mouth twitched with a smile.

"Mornin' Princess," Doyle whispered, kissing her still clothed shoulder.

"Oh God," she whispered back in distress, closing her eyes, as if in pain.

"Calm down, baby," he said, pulling her closer against him. Even as she mentally resisted him, her body accepted the draw, molding firmly against hard chest once more.

"I don't even like you," she said, her voice muffled against his chest briefly until she pulled away once more, "There's told me about the demon thing and then..."

She scrambled to her feet and looked down at him as he remained on the floor, smiling gently up at her. Doyle was in the process of learning to deal with her spouts of anger and resistance of him. He knew she would need a second before he took another swig of her. She was better than any drink at any damn pub anywhere.

"Did you trick me?" She demanded, resting her tanned hands on her denim clad hips.

"What?" he asked in a half smile.

"Do you Brecken demons have some kind of...I don't know power of persuasion or something? I definitely didn't want to make out with you last night. I think you tricked me!"

"Don't be ridiculous," he said, sitting up and yawning before rising to his feet, "You were in full control of your mind. You just couldn't resist."

"I can't stand you!" she shouted as she pulled her hair back from her face and looked around for her shoes. She paused when his hands fell on her hips and pulled them back to meet with his. A lingering kiss on the nape of her neck sent heat rushing through her body and he continued, circling her to meet her lips. She thought, he had to have some power over her, because as much as she thought she wanted to move away, she found that she couldn't.

"It's okay," he said against her lips as his arms slid around her. He almost cheered with relief as she leaned against him, giving into his kisses but was slighted when she pulled away again.

"Angel," she said.

"No Doyle," he said, placing a hand on his chest.

"No dummy," she said, "Angel still hasn't called. Maybe we should call Giles, see if he is okay."

"Maybe we should wait a little while longer," he said, reeling her back in with his sexy Irish lilt and wandering hands, "I'm sure he's fine. Probably just drooling on The Slayer."

"Kinda like you're drooling on me?" She asked, nearly finding a smile. He silenced her with another kiss. She returned it with fervor as worry began to set in. She was kinda getting used to this already.


this is not helping me at all
what you are doing here
in the name of God and Love
it's the distribution of fear
pyramids, healing wines, analysts with fame
i haven't got your degree
and i forgot your name

"God DAMN," Forest exclaimed to Riley as they approached Parker in the Student Lounge, "Who the hell did you piss off?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," Parker said with a slight lisp in his voice as he tried to speak with a bruised face and split lip.

"Try us," Riley said, crossing his arms over his chest and taking inventory of Parker's wounds. He was limping slightly as he walked. He was covered with contusions and bruises and probably had a concussion from the marks on both temples.

"A vampire," Parker said, looking around him nervously and leaning in to whisper his words.

"No kidding?" Forest said, looking sideways at Riley who straightened immediately, "But you got away?"

"You believe me?"

"Well," Riley said, scowling at his friend, "We're pretty superstitious. Forest here believes in Santa Claus too. But just out of curiosity, where'd ya see him?"


fighting, mating, warring
you are all this now
be aware, not scared
look at me now
i say
you are the world

Buffy did not want to go to class. She didn't want to leave her room. In fact, she would have been content to hide under her bed until a new reality set in, but after a much needed shower and constant urging from Willow, she relented. She gripped her book bag with the white knuckled fierceness of a girl who could not control her own lust for her mate.

Angel was definitely still in town and not far away from where she stood the way her body was beginning to tingle. She was fairly certain that a little part of her previous cave girl mentality had stuck with her, because she felt an overwhelming need to find him and make him hers again. But she forced one foot in front of the other to class.

Have to go to class, she reminded herself silently, as the feeling of him grew stronger and stronger. Finally she collided with it when she looked up and found him standing there in front of her. A deep breath was required to keep her standing still there and not running away from him or into his arms. He walked toward her and grabbed her hand - the one that wasn't clutching the book bag with dear life. He led and she went along, allowing herself to be moved away from the busy campus path.

The fact that he hadn't said anything at all, made her fill with worry. Could this be a walking in the sunlight, nearly invincible Angelus? She didn't have time to ask because he pressed her against the brick wall in the back of her dorm and began kissing her deeply as the morning sunshine bathed their mutual arousal.

"Angel," she gasped as his large hand found its way under her skirt. His hand caressed her over her soaked panties, finding her clit through the material, "Stop. Please."

His other hand cupped her right breast, his thumb repeatedly brushing her nipple as he returned to her lips. He pushed aside the silky material between her legs and dexterous fingers found access to her warm opening.

"I've missed you so much," Angel said as he kissed her neck and felt her legs opening for his pleasurable attack on her.

"This isn't...right," she moaned as her hands moved over his silk shirt, memorizing the muscles that lay hidden there. She glanced around them, waiting for some fellow student to wander in or out of the back door and find them there. But no one came along and he felt so good touching her, causing lust to flood her senses.

"Yes, it is," he whispered as he tugged down her top down enough to release one nipple and didn't pause before sucking it into his mouth. She moved against his hand and mouth, panting in want of him as he spoke again, "I want to be inside you again."

"Can't. Not here," she whimpered as his cool flesh, slightly warmed by the sun, moved over her in random places where her flesh was bared to the day.

"Please," he said, in more of a urgent command of want than a plead, as he pushed a second finger inside her slick opening, batting his thumb against her clit.

"I need you, Buffy. After all this time...all this want...let me in, baby," he said, huskily as he pulled her hand to his groin, allowing her shaking fingers to feel his need of her. She was so close to climax that her inner muscles pulsed against his intruding fingers. Before she realized what she was doing, she unbuckled his belt, unbuttoned and unzipped his pants. She pushed the offending black material down to ride low on his hips and he groaned as if in pain when her hot fingers wrapped around him. He pulled his hand away from her and wrapped her legs around his waist, as they guided him into her together.

"Love you," he growled against her neck as he moved inside her. The sun shone on the lovers, illuminating love long kept in the dark. From the bushes twenty paces away, Riley and Forest looked on as Angel bared his fangs and sank them into her neck.


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