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Abused By Tango heaven lives and i know where Buffy made sure the hood of her jacket was over her head and hiding her face before she ventured out into the hallway with her intoxicated boyfriend and three friends in tow. The elevator took less than a minute to open, but Buffy was a nervous wreck until they could pile in it and descend to the first floor. Once inside, Angel leaned drunkenly against the wall and then grinned as Buffy leaned against him. Even before the doors closed, he snaked one arm around her waist and used the other to pull her hood down and her hair aside, leaving her neck open to his kisses. He smiled against her skin as she tried to wiggle away. He wrapped his arm more tightly around her and pulled her against him, allowing her to feel his arousal as he nibbled on her neck. She took a deep breath and prepared to move away when she felt his hand moving up her abdomen to dangerous territory. "Angel," she hissed, jerking away and turning around to face him, "What are you doing?" "Kissin' you," he said, smiling crookedly at her. He swayed unevenly as he adored her with his eyes, unable to wipe the silly grin from his face. "No PDA when we're escaping buddy," Xander said, holding up one hand as if the gesture could control Angel, "You're just gonna have to wait." "Why're you in my dream anyway?" Angel growled, nearly stumbling forward as he tried to make the annoying boy disappear. Buffy pushed lightly on his broad chest to keep him back and he fell against the side of the elevator as if she had shoved him. "Dream?" Xander echoed, shaking his head tiredly, "No more drinky for you." Buffy opened her mouth to explain but the doors opened, so she put her hood back on and tiptoed out the elevator, looking around her in such a suspicious manner that if anyone had happened to see her, they would have thought she was up to something. She pulled Angel toward the side door, but he pulled back and looked in the other direction. "I gotta pay the bill, baby," he explained loudly when she kept trying to yank him in the opposite direction and gaining no ground. "Shhh," Buffy said, looking around them nervously, "You can pay later." "But I owe-" he started in drunken confusion. "Angel!" Buffy shouted and then covered her mouth quickly with her eyes wide with shock that she had been so loud. Lowering her voice, she whispered firmly, "We'll pay later, okay?" "‘Kay, baby," he answered lovingly before padding down the hall behind her, completely missing everyone's rolling eyes at his condition. Buffy held her breath until they reached the door and were finally in free air again. Willow went with Xander went to get his car and Angel lead Buffy and Faith to his. He took out his keys and even before he could attempt to open the door, Buffy pulled them from him and handed them to Faith. *** people
try to tell you things Lindsey McDonald woke from a sound sleep and a pleasant dream to his phone ringing. He glanced at the clock at his bedside to see that it was barely 5:00 AM. He gritted his teeth and swore as he reached for the receiver. If it was Angel, he would hang up and drive straight to LA and beat him to death. "Hello?" He barked. "Mr. McDonald?" A female voice said crisply and politely. "Yes?" "I understand you represent Liam Angelus," she said, keeping her voice even, "He is seeing my daughter, Buffy." "Hello Mrs. Summers," he said, closing his eyes as he swung his legs over the side of the bed. He didn't know what was going on, but he was certain it wasn't good. "What can I do for you?" "My daughter is missing from the facility where she was being treated," Joyce continued in a forced calm voice, "And I believe your client is responsible for her whereabouts. I know that you will be able to get a message to him since his cell phone is conveniently turned off at the moment. The doctor and I have both spoken to the police and will be filing a missing persons report. Should you speak to him, it would be advisable to inform him that my daughter needs to complete her therapy. I will press charges for kidnapping." "With all due respect, Mrs. Summers," Lindsey answered in his favorite condescending professional tone of voice, "Your daughter is over the age of eighteen. If she has left the institution of her own free will, my client is not responsible for that. I will be glad to pass your message should he contact me, but as you know, he is innocent until proven guilty. I think I can state fairly accurately that if your daughter is with him, she has done so of her own accord." "She's not mentally stable, Mr. McDonald," she spat angrily, "I think we both know that changes the slant of the law." "Your daughter is not insane, Mrs. Summers," he said politely with a cool smile on his face that he knew she couldn't see, but was certain she could hear, "She was not in an insane asylum, she was receiving therapy for depression. I'm sure we both know that sets the law back on course." "Pass on your message to Angel," she snapped, "You will be hearing from my lawyer." "Gladly," he said, grinning broadly, "Good day, Mrs. Summers." As he hung up the phone, his smile turned to a grimace. He quickly dialed Angel's mobile phone number only to get his voicemail as Buffy's mom had predicted. Growling into the phone he said, "Angel, it's Linds. Call me as soon as fucking possible. I just got off the phone with Buffy's mom and check the time on this message! It's 5 o'fucking clock in the morning! I don't know what the hell you think you're doing, but I'm sure you've finally lost your godamn mind." *** i
need the strength i see in her Angel groaned as he awoke and tried to open his eyes several times before he was successful. He heard the shower running and vaguely remembered that Willow and Xander had spent the night in his hotel room. The ceiling looked a bit strange when he finally was able to focus on it. It wasn't the startling white it was the morning before. He turned his head and realized that nothing in the room was as it had been. In fact, it wasn't even close to being the same room. He sat up quickly and groaned as a streak of pain thundered through his brain. As he laid back against the wilted sheets, he realized that he was nude. The thought forced him from the bed once more. He looked around the room in a panic and he found his clothes folded neatly on the chair across the room. Cursing under his breath, he began to quickly dress. "Fuck, fuck, fuck," he breathed as he struggled to dress faster. He heard the shower shut off and the idea of seeing the face of the one night stand he must have had the night before was more than he could stand. He knew that he couldn't see her face in his nightmares again and again when he laid next to Buffy. She would never forgive him for this trespass. The more he thought about it, the more he hated himself. He remembered dreaming of Buffy, remembered thinking she had escaped with Faith and they had made their way out of the hotel without being seen. God, had he actually left the room and gotten past Willow and Xander? Had he met some woman in the hotel somewhere and drunkenly thought she was Buffy? This hangover rivaled all others in the past and it was taking an inordinately long time to get dressed. He just had to escape and get back to the hotel and then he would deal with this. He would think of a way to explain it to Buffy. Sure, she would never trust him again, but maybe in time she would forgive him. Already he was planning out the begging and pleading to keep her in his life as he hurried toward the door. As he turned the knob, the bathroom door swung open. "Angel?" He turned around slowly and blinked at her, as she stood in the doorway, a towel around her perfect golden body, water dripping freely from her. "I thought I heard you," she said quietly, "Are you leaving?" "N-no," he stuttered. He cleared his throat and stared at her for a moment before he realized that she was waiting for an explanation. "I couldn't remember where we were," he said slowly, pointing toward the door which was still half open, "I thought if I went outside, I would recognize something." "You were leaving?" she asked again. Her voice sounded as shattered as the expression on her face and Angel swung the door shut. She hadn't been Angel's girl for very long, but she knew the difference between a lie and the truth - mostly because she was fairly certain he had never lied to her before. "No, baby," he answered. He crossed the room as he started again, "I couldn't remember. I didn't know you were in shower, so I just thought...cause I woke up...and I..." "Oh God," she said, eyes widening as she realized what he was saying. She felt bile rising in her throat as she thought about him being with someone else. What if he had done this before? It's not like he would have told her, not when she was all crazy and in a mental facility. Gulping for air, she added, "You thought you had...oh. Oh." "But see, it is you," he acknowledged weakly, preparing to drop to his knees if he had to, "So now...damn it, it is you." "Angel," Buffy said slowly, taking her time to formulate her words, "Have you...I mean, since I've been away-" "NO!" he shouted without meaning to, "No, love. I have not been with anyone else since I met you. I was really drunk last night and I fell asleep one place and woke up someplace else, that's all. I was confused. I thought you were a dream. God knows you were every other time." "It's okay," she said, circling around him in broad steps, "I mean, you are dating a crazy girl who tried to kill herself. I wouldn't blame you if you didn't want to be with me." She flung her suitcase on the bed and opened it, rummaging through her clothes as she spoke. "I would just hope if you cared about me that you would break up with me before you slept with someone else. I mean, I know I seem weak," she added furiously, "But I can take it if you don't want me." "Buffy," he said, turning her around and ignoring the fact that she had just thrown on a t-shirt and was wearing skimpy panties that were twisted on the sides, "I love you. I haven't been with anyone else. I swear, love." "How would you know?" Buffy demanded, "You were so drunk last night-" He slid his hands down her sides to her hips and straightened her panties with shaking hands as if that were the key to her understanding. He fought the urge to groan when she flinched from his touch. He met her eyes and gently ran his fingers through her wet hair, untangling the long strands slowly. "There hasn't been anyone else," he said quietly as he methodically smoothed each strand, "I want to spend the rest of my life with you, marry you, grow old with you. There isn't room in my life for another woman, Buffy." "You..." she said, biting her inner cheek as she tried not to cry. She swallowed harshly and took a deep breath, but she knew her voice would break when she spoke. "You," she rasped out again, "are the only person who can truly hurt me now. I put so much of my love and trust in you, Angel. Too much. I need to know if I can count on you. I need to be able to trust you." "You can," he promised, "In fact..." His jaw dropped as an idea came to him and he smiled broadly at her. "I can't believe I didn't think of this before." "Think of what before?" Buffy asked quizzically. "Why your mother was able to check you into that place," Angel said, sitting down on the end of the bed next to her suitcase as his hung over mind chugged along. "My mother checked me into that place?" Buffy shouted angrily, "No one ever told me that there was a choice in the matter! Angel, why didn't you tell me?" "Marry me," he said, pulling her to him and kissing her belly, "Marry me today." "Angel, have you lost your marbles?" she asked, feeling his forehead, "I think you're still drunk. We're fighting here, remember? I was going to be mad and you were going to grovel and then we were going to make love. Later we were going to figure out how to hide until all this blows over. Marriage comes later when I'm not insane." "Huh?" he said, looking up at her. Shaking his clouded thoughts away, he swung her onto the bed and knelt by the side at her feet. "Your mother still technically has guardianship of you even though you're over eighteen. She claims you as a dependent, I'm guessing, and she puts you through school. If you marry me, she can't make you go back there." "Maybe I'm not the insane one," she mumbled down at him. "I don't want to marry you so you can protect me from my mother." "Then marry me because I love you," he said, looking intently into her eyes, "Marry me because I can't imagine my life without you in it. Buffy, I'm sorry. I planned to buy you a big ring and take you somewhere romantic to do this and I still can if you want, but the truth is I want you to be with me forever. Love, I was going to marry you anyway." "Oh," she said quietly, looking down at her lap. He tipped her chin up to see the tears in her eyes and tried not to think the worst. He was already on his knees. He didn't mind begging and pleading. "Oh?" he echoed after a moment, searching her tearful green eyes for a clue of what that meant. "A few minutes ago I thought..." Buffy said, trailing off. "Do you really want to marry me? You remember how I've ruined your whole life, right?" "No, you are my whole life." *** Abused DEDICATION: For Margriet *** i can't take the pain of wanting her, needing her "You are my whole life," he said, looking up at her from where he knelt in front of her, "Marry me, Buffy." The long pause after his question left Angel plenty of room to panic. The air felt heavier and the room started to tip crookedly - or maybe that was just his stomach flip-flopping with no food and too much alcohol. He craned his neck to try and meet her eyes, but was left waiting for several long moments before she looked back up at him. "It's not that I don't love you, Angel," she whispered finally, her eyes welling up with tears, "It's just-" "No…it's okay," he croaked, as he backed away on his knees. He stood quickly and felt his nausea grow worse. He looked nervously around the room and ran his fingers through his bed-tousled hair. Turning on his heel, he headed for the door, "I just…I need to…uh…breathe. I'll be back in a minute." Angel walked out of the front door of the cheap motel they were staying in and leaned on the railing, taking deep breaths as he looked over the parking lot below. He stared at his car for a moment, trying to remember how it had gotten there and who had driven it. He couldn't seem to focus on the answers. His body was swaying slightly and his head was pounding as his hangover clung to him. He fought to regain control of his emotions and to process rationally what had just happened. He had just knelt before the woman he loved more than anything in this world and asked her to marry him and she said no. A tremor ran through him as he thought about spending the rest of his life apart from her. He had no idea where to go from there. He wouldn't leave her if she wanted him to stay, but he knew it would take quite a bit of strength to keep his heart from breaking every day. "Angel," Buffy said from the door, looking both ways before she stepped out onto the terrace, still wearing just her panties and t-shirt. "Come back in here and talk to me. I didn't say 'no.'" "I distinctly heard 'no,'" Angel rasped, turning around slowly to face her. He tried to prepare himself to face her, to pretend that nothing was wrong. When he finally turned around, everything he had been thinking flew out of his mind and he narrowed his eyes in anger to see that she was barely dressed and standing out in the open where any passerby would get a lovely eye full of semi naked flesh. "What are you doing, Buffy? You're naked!" he announced, backing her into the room. "Anyone could walk by and see you!" "Then come in here and talk to me," Buffy said, holding on to his arms as he guided her into the room, "I don't care who sees me. Besides, I'm not naked. What's important right now is that you listen to me." "Don't worry, Buffy," he said quietly as he shut the door behind him, "I'm not going to leave you just because you won't marry me." "Angel," Buffy groaned. Nearly snarling at him in frustration, she pushed him back on the bed and climbed on top of him, pressing his hands against the covers above his head as if she thought she could overtake him, which of course she couldn't. Course, she also knew he wouldn't move to push her away. "I didn't say I wouldn't marry you ever," she clarified, "I just don't want to marry you today. There's a difference." "I heard what you said," Angel answered calmly, shifting his eyes to the barren wall to the side of the bed to keep from looking into those mossy green eyes. He had been foolish to think that those would be the eyes he would wake up to every morning for the rest of his life. He always knew she was too good for him. He had meant what he said when he told her he wouldn't leave her. He just needed a few minutes to get over the idea that she wouldn't marry him. "Did you?" Buffy demanded, shaking him until he looked at her, "Cause I don't think you did. Let me rephrase it for ya. I love you, Angel. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I already know that. I think I've known it since the moment I met you, but I don't want to marry you just because I'm afraid of my mother. I don't want the beginning of my life with you to start out with fear. I love you too much to ruin it. I've been blind to what she's been doing and I can't hide behind you, as wonderful as that sounds. "I want a real wedding, with real flowers and a real dress with my friends around me. I want to walk down a long aisle and have that moment where I'm looking at you and you're looking back at me. I want the real thing, not some hurried wedding to escape the wrath of my mom. I'm not running away from you, baby. I'm not afraid to commit to you. Did you really think I was going to let you get away?" "Yeah," he answered honestly, "I did." "Well pay attention, buddy," she huffed triumphantly, releasing his hands and poking one of her little fingers into his chest, "You belong to me, so if you think for one minute-" She stopped talking and squealed when he flipped them and tossed her against the pillows, reversing their positions. Holding her arms gently above her head as she had his previously, he leaned in and kissed her, unable to keep the grin of relief from covering his whole face. "So…" he said between kisses, "You'll marry me?" "Yes," she answered against his lips, slipping her hands free to wrap them around his neck. "So, what now?" Buffy whispered. "Well," Angel said, giving her one final kiss before moving away, "First, I need to take a shower, cause there should be a law against this smell…and then we'll go from there. I need a few minutes to knock around some ideas." "Okay, I'm going down to see Faith," she said, flashing a smile at him as she hopped off the bed. "Faith?" Angel asked curiously, "She's here too? What ever happened to Willow and Xander?" "Faith's in a room down the hall," Buffy explained, "And Willow and Xander went back to Sunnydale last night. They're telling everyone that they couldn't get in to see me, so they stopped by to see you then they came home." "Oh," Angel said, realizing just how much he didn't remember from the last night. In fact, he wasn't sure what he actually remembered and what had been a dream. His dreams lately seemed to be fading together anyway. On any given night he was dreaming about what had actually happened. "When I get back, we really need to get something to eat," Buffy said, "I'm so hungry." Angel groaned on his way to the bathroom. The sound of food was enough to make his stomach twist in knots. Just before closing the door, Angel ducked back out of the bathroom to catch Buffy before she left. "Buffy, I'm trying to remember just what happened last night. Did we make love? I think I remember something happening…" Grinning broadly, she winked at him, "Maybe you shouldn't drink so much that you can't remember what happened the night before." "I don't plan on it," he said, "Unless I'm forced to be away from you again." As she headed back toward the door again, he said, "But seriously, what happened?" "Well," she said, sighing dramatically, "Besides the fact that you swore you would be my personal sex slave for the rest of my life, you also promised to start a cult in my honor. You're not going to go back on your word, are you baby?" Smiling innocently, she slipped out without waiting for his answer. *** i
can taste the heaven waiting there Angel stepped into the bathroom and shed the clothes he had hurriedly put on earlier. He turned on the water and adjusted the temperature to a scalding hot. He liked the feel of the water washing away everything and he definitely wanted to wash away the last few days. The alcohol still in his system felt like poison and he thought he was going to be sick from the heat and steam. Bracing himself against the shower wall, he gulped for air, trying to keep himself from throwing up. He was thrilled beyond description that he had misunderstood Buffy's initial refusal to marry him, but that cavern in the pit of his stomach was still slowly refilling itself. He thought back to what it was like before he had her in his life, before he even knew what love was. He wanted her long before he loved her, he knew that. A shiver ran down his spine in spite of the heat when he remembered stalking her and watching her with Riley Finn. Now the idea of losing her was nearly as great as the revulsion he felt at the thought of some other man touching her. He had cringed inwardly when he saw Riley touching her and how she had allowed it with that lost look in her soft green eyes. Angel was sure if she hadn't been able to escape him, it would have only been a matter of time before she died inside. He knew the second she entered his life that he would never be the person to take that light from her. He would never push her so hard that she gave in against her will, would never stay so long that she would hate him for his existence. He knew when she said she couldn't marry him that he would walk away the moment she asked him. It didn't matter that leaving her would probably destroy him. Her happiness was worth much more than his. He shook off those thoughts and finished his shower quickly, moving back to bask in the joy that fate had afforded him. She was his completely now and he didn't need a marriage certificate to prove it. As he stepped out of the shower, a thought jolted him and barely bothered to dry off before he wrapped the damp towel around his waist and picked up the phone. He dialed the familiar number quickly and waited for an answer. "Lindsey McDonald's office," his secretary answered, "Fred speaking. How can I help you?" "Fred," Angel said, smiling as he remembered the sweet, country girl who had somehow gotten roped into being Lindsey's assistant, "It's Angel." "Angel," Fred said lowering her voice, "Mr. McDonald has been trying to reach you all day. He's very angry at you, sir, and I think you should talk to him but-" "It's okay, Fred," Angel said, laughing, "I'm not surprised that he's mad at me by now. Put me through." "Remember I warned you," she said seriously before transferring him to her boss' line. "I hope you and your princess are having a great time," Lindsey barked into the phone, "Cause I've been fielding threatening phone calls since-" "Sorry Linds," Angel said happily, "No need to take it personally, buddy." "I'm getting a raise when this is over," Lindsey grouched back, but was actually extremely glad that Angel had finally called. He was running out of things to say to the barrage of callers. "Yeah," Angel said nodding, "And a bonus, but there's some extra legwork required on this one and a lot of research. I'm sure you already know that Buffy escaped from the-" "Didn't you get the message I left last night?" Lindsey asked, "Turn on your cell phone more often, Angel. Buffy's mother called to inform me that her daughter was missing and to threaten to press charges." "You know, I wish I could say I was surprised about that," Angel breathed irritably, "But that woman hates me. Anyway, I have an idea of how to resolve this. Ready?" "Not really, but go ahead." "It involves a beautiful brunette," Angel teased. "Growing more interested by the second," Lindsey said propping his feet up on his desk and leaning back in his chair, "Exactly how beautiful?" "Pretty deadly," Angel answered with a smirk. *** i
think I'm better now than I used to be "Are you sure you're okay with this?" Buffy asked Faith nervously two hours later as they all stood by Angel's car a mile from the hotel they had just checked out of. "Cause you can back out anytime," Buffy added. "I'm five by five, B," Faith said confidently, "Besides, do you really think some pussy lawyer can take me? Please, girlfriend." "I'm pretty sure a serial killer couldn't take you," Buffy answered wryly, "But still, if you have any problems or if you need help, just call Angel's cell phone, okay?" "Sure. Whatever," Faith answered with a shrug. They all turned as a sleek, black M3 BMW came roaring into the parking lot they were waiting in. Faith had prepared herself for the worst and expected some little weasel to step out of the car, so her eyes nearly bulged from the sockets the door opened and the "pussy lawyer" in question stepped out. She eyed him up and down from his short dark brown hair standing in disarray, over his handsome face, to his sharp blue eyes and down over his flannel shirt, tight jeans and cowboy boots. Faith squirmed in her leather pants as she saw he was eyeing her just as predatorily as she was eyeing him. "Lindsey," Angel said as he caught the keys that his friend launched at him, "What part of "plain, nondescript car" did you miss? People tend to remember Beamers, you know." "I liked it," Lindsey said casually even though the glint in his eyes betrayed him, "Besides, you need to own something other than that hooptie you insist on driving." "It's a classic," Angel said sharply, "And own? What the hell happened to renting a car?" "It's not like you're going to miss the money, tight ass," Lindsey answered almost gleefully, "Besides, remember when we talked about me getting a bonus?" "You can forget about the raise now, asshole," Angel growled as he tossed Lindsey the keys to his precious Belvedere and began loading his and Buffy's suitcases into the trunk of the brand new car. "How I did I know you were going to say that?" Lindsey laughed and winking at Faith who laughed while she shook her head at the crazy bastard she was going to be spending time with in the next couple of weeks. "You're fucking psychic," Angel bit out as he shut the door after Buffy had climbed into the car. Home - Navigation - Affiliates - Random - Fanfiction - Links - Updates - About
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