Abused

By Tango

LYRICS: All lyrics are from Everclear

i have seen you shake
and i know what it cost you

Willow was sound asleep when Buffy came in, tiptoeing through the room. She woke with a start to see who the intruder was and gasped out loud. In the dark, it looked as if Buffy was cradling her arm protectively.

"Are you okay?" Willow shouted, jumping out of bed and rushing to her friend.

"Fell," Buffy forced out, looking at her friend hopelessly as if to plead, Please don't call me on this. Please just pretend you don't know. Willow flipped on the light and gasped as she saw that there were long scrapes up and down her arm and on her knees.

"Did you drag yourself around after you fell?" Willow snapped and then pressed her hand over her mouth.

"It was an accident," Buffy whispered and hobbled across the room, lowering herself painfully to the bed, "He's really sorry."

"I bet he is!" Willow shouted, "I'm really sorry too, Buffy! How long are you going to let him do this to you? How long before something really bad happens, before he really hurts you?"

"He promised it would never happen again," Buffy explained tearfully, hitching shuddering breaths.

"Doesn't he say that every time?" Willow demanded.

It took several minutes for Willow to gather the first aid kit and had to breathe deeply before going to work. Buffy hissed as Willow cleaned out her wounds, trying to keep from meeting her best friend's worried and simultaneously outraged face. The redhead's hands were shaking as she tried to gently clean the angry skin.

"I'm sorry, Will," Buffy rasped with her head bowed, "I'm really sorry that you have to deal with this."

"Buffy," Willow said, taking her friend's hands in hers, "I just want you to be okay and you're not. He's hurting you and you're pretending it's not happening. Remember the first time he hit you and you broke up with him? You said you would never let anyone treat you like that and now you're letting him do it again and again. I don't...I don't understand, Buffy."

"I don't either," Buffy said as breath her sobs broke free, "I've tried to leave him, Will. I wanted to keep you out of this."

"You tried," Willow announced, "But you haven't. Why?"

"Because...because...I can't, Will," she whispered, hissing as she pulled her arm protectively against her side, "I can't explain this to you. You won't understand."

"I don't think I could be more confused than I am now," Willow snapped.

"I'm sorry," Buffy said, lying back and turning over to face away from her friend. Closing her eyes, she whispered, "I love you, Willow. Please don't stop loving me. I couldn't stand it if you did."

"I won't, Buffy," she whispered back.

***

she says she feels just like a hostage

Willow gathered up her courage as she snuck sidelong glances at the man sitting next to her. Class had ended and now all that was left was the step where she opened her mouth and spoke. Firmly putting her resolve face in place, she cleared her throat and swivelled in her seat.

"Uh...Angel?" she said, thankful that her voice sounded remotely clear and cheerful, which was a miracle considering her whole body was filled with a sense of dread.

"Yeah?" he replied, glancing up at her and back down into his bag as he put his book, pen and notebook away. Willow sighed. He obviously didn't see the severity of the situation tucked below her feigned casualness.

"We've kinda become friends this semester, haven't we?" she started. That was nice and simple. Good first step, she thought, inserting an uneasy smile.

"Sure," he answered, still not looking directly at her, but glancing up now and then as he checked to make sure his materials for his next class were there.

"I...uh...I have a question for you," she blustered, managing to effectively blow any off-handedness she had come up with moments prior.

After he had finished zipping up his bag, he gave her his full attention, which is what she wanted until she got it. His eyes boring into her with concern was even worse than when she had him cocking one ear in her direction. Taking a deep breath, she leaned in and continued, "Do you know my best friend, Buffy Summers? She's about this tall, blonde hair?"

"She's in my Art History class," Angel answered, keeping his tone untouched by any opinion he might have of her. Willow sighed.

"I'm gonna be straight with you," she said, glad that the room was now empty of the other students. This was there was less chance of being overheard when he told her she was a crazy person. Clutching the edge of the desk, she continued, "You're the biggest, baddest, most intimidating person I've ever met. You know, it's kinda strange cause you're so smart too. And nice, when you're done with the intimidation part. Which I am. Mostly."

"Uh...thank you…I think," he answered, raising an eyebrow at her.

"This is not coming out right," Willow muttered, "Look, my friend is in trouble. Buffy, that is. My friend, Buffy. She needs help and she needs someone who is big and intimidating to help her. It would be nice if you were willing to beat someone up too. With punches. Lots of them. Hard ones. In a row. Maybe I could get you some brass knuckles and then-"

"Willow," Angel said, interrupting her, "Are you asking me to beat someone up for your friend?"

"No," she answered, casting her gaze to the floor for a second, "Not if you don't have to, although I have to tell you, I really hope you do have to."

"Who's trying to hurt her?"

"Not trying," Willow corrected, "Is hurting her. Her boyfriend. He started out so nice and sweet and then he started bossing her around and calling her names, but now she keeps coming home with bruises and strange marks. Sometimes she's bleeding. Oh, and she lies to me! Me! Says she fell down, but Angel, she's my best friend. I know she's not that clumsy. He's hurting her, emotionally and physically. I could pay you, you know. Just to watch her for a couple of days and see what you think. And if you had to punch the poophead, it would be a bonus, like a prize in your crackerjacks."

"A bonus for you or me?" he asked wryly.

"Both," Willow nodded, "I'm sure you'll agree on the poophead principle the moment you meet him. He's so...mean."

"I thought I was the mean one," he said, giving her a sad half smile, which seemed to be a struggle.

"You're not mean. You just look like you could be and I hope you are. All over his face," Willow huffed.

"Listen, Willow-"

Lowering her voice, she looked up at him and tears filled her eyes like she had promised herself they wouldn't. She whispered, lower lip trembling, "He's hurting her and I can't make it stop. I've tried everything; tried talking to her, threatening him, getting other people to threaten him and she won't leave him. She doesn't love him. I know she doesn't. I think she's afraid...and she's not the only one."

"Willow-"

"Please, Angel," she cried, clutching his hand and resorted to tearful begging, "I don't have a lot of money, but I'll give you everything I have and I know it's wrong somehow to ask you to do this when you don't even know her and she would kill me if she knew I told you, but I can't take one more-"

"I'll do it."

"Please, Angel-" she continued, and then realized what he said. Jerking her head up, she looked into his eyes and shivered. What she was was the most raw anger and hate she had ever seen reflected on a person's face. It was there just for a second and then it was gone, replaced by his normally stoic, unemotional demeanor, "Y-y-you will?"

"Yes," he said, rising to his feet. He bent over her desk and pulled the pencil from her fingers that she didn't even know she'd been clutching and jotted on her notebook his name and phone number in neat script, "Call me when you're done with classes and we'll talk about it. I have class with Buffy now. I'm going to go before I'm late."

"You're not going to tell her are you?"

"No," he said, "I won't tell her."

***

i wonder if you're giving in
tell me why you're giving in

Angel hurried from the room where a very worried and shaking Willow Rosenberg sat. He never liked that he had these two classes so close together and today was no different. He really liked the brainy redhead and was usually glad when she sat next to him to shield him from whichever girl would try to talk his ear off during class. He liked class and usually went there to learn, not flirt. Well, except for his next class.

He almost choked when Willow asked him if he knew who Buffy Summers was. He snorted inwardly. Hell yes, he knew who she was! Anyone attracted to females on campus who had decent sight could at least pick her out of a crowd from fifty paces. He wasn't blind and even if he was, he probably still would have noticed her. He lived, slept and breathed the golden girl who shared his Art History Class and he thanked his lucky stars that he had not dropped the class at the beginning of the semester like he had planned. It probably would have been the largest mistake of his life.

It didn't take him long to notice that she often had a strange bruise here or there. He thought at first she played a sport, maybe field hockey or something. Then as they appeared more frequently, and in strange places, he realized it was something completely different. He didn't know if anyone else noticed or not but he was more overly aware of the tiny blonde than most people. Willow Rosenberg had no idea what she had asked him to do, had no clue that he was already in love with her troubled friend. Buffy was so perfect, so tiny, so wonderfully smart and witty. Whenever she forced out a smile, even a fake one, it damn near blinded him.

Angel moved into class and strategically placed himself somewhere near her as always. He wanted to be close, but not too close. He was afraid if he inhaled too much of her vanilla perfume or if he was within arm's reach he would be tempted to touch her – or even worse – talk to her. For an experienced senior in college, a man who never had problems getting dates, he sure lost his touch when it came to her. She made him feel like a junior high schooler who hadn't had his first kiss when he was near her.

Until today.

Today he was too angry to even contemplate being wistful or nervous around her. He blatantly stared at her body, scraping his eyes over her flesh for the wounds he knew were there. His anger was beginning to wane slightly as he saw no marks on her when she bent over to retrieve a pen from her bag. He sucked in a breath in horror as her little yellow top crept up to reveal what would be a golden bit of skin on an unabused girl. Instead there was an ugly purple and yellow bruise covering her side and back, disappearing under her shirt and jeans.

***

she is the angel of the loser and the disenchanted soul

"Obsessed" is a really strong word. So is "stalker." Both fit Liam "Angel" Angelus. He told himself over the weeks following his conversation with Willow and their subsequent meeting, that he was not obsessed with Buffy Summers, nor was he stalking her and he certainly wasn't in love with her. He was doing a favor for a friend.

He had declined Willow's offer to pay him and he made her promise not to mention his involvement to Buffy or anyone else. He already hated himself for not figuring out sooner that she was in trouble, that her bruises were just as severe as they looked. It was just that he couldn't even wrap his mind around the thought of someone hurting her. Why on earth would anyone want to mar her perfect skin or see sadness in those dazzling green eyes? It made no sense. And it made him want to torture and maim the person responsible.

He watched her with her boyfriend as much as possible and immediately saw that she was more of a decoration on his arm than a companion. He spoke to her as if she were a slave rather than his equal and the sight of him made Angel sick to his stomach. He had never wanted to hurt another human being as much as he wanted to hurt Riley Finn.

Two weeks following the beginning of his new hobby, he went to his favorite professor's office, Rupert Giles. He sank down in the chair across from Giles' desk when the preoccupied professor waved him in, barely pulling his face from the book it was pressed in.

"One moment," Giles mumbled, "fascinating."

Angel couldn't help but crack a smile. He loved history, but Giles studied it like it was going to disappear if he didn't hurry. He loved soaking up facts and dates and shared them with the class as if they were rare jewels to be polished and adored.

"Angel," Giles said finally, "Sorry to keep you waiting. What can I do for you?"

"Need a favor, Giles," Angel said quietly. The professor's jaw nearly dropped. Angel never asked anyone for anything if he could possibly avoid it. He had known him for years, having been close friends with his mother, and he had never seen the boy give anyone an inch, even when he was a child.

"Well," Giles forced out, "What did you need?"

"You know Buffy Summers? She's in your Art History class with me on Tuesdays and Thursdays."

"Yes, I do know the identity of my students unlike many other professors in this institution, Angel," Giles said and then added, "She's a delightful girl actually. I had her in one of my lectures last year. Why do you ask?"

"She needs a work study position," Angel said, looking around the unkempt office, "And you need an assistant...badly."

"I already have an assistant," Giles said, "You aid me in many duties-"

"I'm the TA for your freshman and sophomore classes," Angel said, "You need someone else too. You can pull the funds from the department, Giles. You're the most respected tenured professor here."

"This seems awfully important to you, Angel."

"It's extremely important to me, Giles," he said softly, "Please."

"I can only give her ten hours a week," Giles acquiesced, "I won't be able to wrangle more from the History department or the Art department for that matter."

"That's perfect."

***

just remember, it's a small town
it's a real small town

"How could he have turned me down?" Xander demanded over pizzas the following night, "What, just because I'm a not student, I can't move in?"

"Translation?" Willow asked, looking from Buffy to Cordelia and back again.

"Xander wanted to move into Angel's mansion," Cordy answered, shaking her head at her boyfriend.

"Okay…missing something," Buffy said. She smiled at the thought of Angel. Who could miss Mr. tall, dark and impossibly gorgeous? The thought of Xander moving in with him was delicious and strange at the same time. Buffy hadn't thought about anything but escaping Riley for so long, she hadn't taken the time to be attracted to another man, until she saw Angel in her class. Actually, she heard him first. His deep, rumbling voice when he answered the professor's question was sexy enough for her to turn around in her seat to stare at the body attached to that voice. And it was certainly worth the effort. "Why would you want to move in with Angel? Does he need a roommate or something?"

"Roommate or something?" Xander demanded, "You've got to be kidding me!"

"Translation?" Buffy asked impatiently.

"Angel lives in that huge mansion on Crawford street," Cordy said, patting Xander's arm, "It's the most coveted off campus housing in Sunnydale because the house is unbelievable, Angel hardly charges any rent and no one has to share a room, but he only rents out rooms to students."

"Oh," Buffy said, "Well, why do you want to live with a bunch of college kids anyway, Xand?"

"Because it was my in," Xander explained vehemently, "It was the way to get invited to parties and have college fun without all the books and homework! Will, you're friends with him, right? Can't you put in a good word for me?"

"No way," Cordy said, "I don't want you near those keggers and half naked women. Uh-uh. Forget it."

"Oh, come on!" Xander exclaimed, "I'll hardly look at the half naked women."

***

it's hard on a girl
when you try to walk around on shaky ground

"Giles," Buffy complained, slumping on the floor in front of his bookshelf. Angel grinned from across the room at her as she swiped sweat from her brow, looking like a little child sitting crossed legged on the floor, surrounded by a tower of books on all sides, "I don't get your crazy system! This makes no sense."

"It's called the alphabet, Buffy," Giles said, smiling at her himself. She had only worked for him for a week and already his life was filled with a great deal more amusement.

"In what language?" Buffy huffed, "Aramaic? Ancient Sumerian? You do know Standard English alphabet starts with the letter ‘A.' Say it with me, Giles, ‘A.'"

"Don't look at me, Buffy," Giles said, burying his nose back in his book, "Angel is the one who hasn't the patience to return a book to its proper shelf."

"Angel!" Buffy shouted in a joking tone, "This is all your fault?"

Winking at her from where he was checking papers, a slow smile spread over his face, "Have to make sure there's something for you to do, Buffy."

"Oh wonderful," Buffy answered wryly, "Thank you so much."

"You're welcome," Angel answered, "No trouble at all."

"Excuse me?" a voice said from the door. Angel bit his inner jaw so hard he was bleeding to keep himself from saying anything to the visitor. He simply glared, while Giles answered, "Yes? May I help you?"

"I'm here for my girl," Riley said, looking around the room, "Buffy Summers? She works here."

Angel's gaze shot over the corner where Buffy shifted back into the pile of books she hid in. He expected her to try and save face, to act as if everything was fine with him being there, but she looked afraid. Really afraid.

"She's-" Giles started, but Angel immediately interrupted, "You just missed her. She took off early today. We forgot to give her one of the work study forms, so she had to go to the Registrar's office to fill it out."

"When did she leave?" Riley asked, returning Angel's glare openly. Angel could see her from the corner of his inching back toward the book shelf in the corner to further hide herself and he had to fight not to glance in her direction again, or get up and beat the boy within an inch of his miserable life.

"Fifteen minutes ago," Angel answered smoothly, "Probably close to finishing up by now."

"Alright," Riley said, stepping back from the doorway, "Thanks."

"You're welcome," Giles answered, shooting a concerned look from Angel to Buffy and back again. He raised an eyebrow at them and they both turned away and pretended to busy in their work, as if nothing happened. Sighing, Giles let it go and returned to his work as well.


***

hey, i'll kick your ass if you pity me
i won't give in, i'm not like that
no, i won't give in to you

"Listen Angel," Buffy said when Angel offered to drive her home, "I don't want you to get the wrong idea. Riley and I got into a fight last night and I wasn't ready to talk about it."

"You don't have to explain anything to me, Buffy," he said, walking beside her slowly, his hands shoved in his pockets, "I just thought you looked like you didn't want to see him and I didn't think you should have to."

"It's just that…well, you seemed kinda mad and…" Buffy mumbled. She didn't know why she even cared if Angel was mad or upset by the situation, but she did. Since she first saw him, she was intrigued by him. He was gorgeous and every time he opened his mouth in class, something brilliant came pouring out. Now that they were working together, she found that a frown on his face made her heart lurch. She cared about this beautiful man and strangely enough he treated her like he cared about her, like she was someone important. It was almost as if he thought she was worth loving. It was almost as if he loved her.

She looked up in his eyes and felt a chill go through her. There was the strangest mixture of murderous anger and devotion. Seconds later, the anger was gone and she felt him reach for her hand and holding in his gently.

"Here's my number," he said, tucking a scrap of paper torn from his notebook in her hand. He didn't care that it looked like he had planned it. He did plan it. Three weeks ago. Maybe more, "If you need me, call. I'll be glad to avert conversations with your boyfriend anytime."

"I don't know what you think you know about my relationship with Riley," Buffy said, putting the number back into his hand, while stopping to look up into Angel's dark concerned eyes, "But you don't know anything about it."

"I know a lot more than you think, Buffy," Angel said, keeping his voice calm and low, "You don't have to be a genius to see that you're afraid of him and that the bruises on your body aren't from falling down. I know it's none of my business-"

"You're right," she snapped, "It isn't your business!"

"I'm making it my business," Angel said, making sure he kept his voice from raising to the level of his anger. She didn't need to trade one violent boyfriend for another. "Every time I see a mark on your body, I know it's from him. You are a beautiful, desirable woman, Buffy. You could have any guy on this campus and they would worship the ground you walk on. Why do you allow him to hurt you?"

"I don't want to talk about this," she whimpered, moving away from him. The sound of his voice gently calling her name made her stop in her tracks. She kept her back to him, waiting for his approach.

"Buffy," he said, "That's not what love is. The way he treats you…If you let me, I can help you."

"No one can help me. Maybe I don't want help!" she said, keeping her back to him, thankful that he couldn't see the tears in her eyes. She felt his breath on her neck as he stood behind her, just close enough not to touch her. Reaching around, he tucked his number into her jacket pocket and whispered in her ear, "If you need me, I'll always be there for you. I won't let him hurt you again, Buffy. If you'd just let me, I can protect you."

***

yeah, i know you need to break away
i don't give a fuck about what those people say

Angel smiled down at his new list of renters for the this semester. Several of his tenants from the previous semester graduated, dropped out or transferred and the mansion's inhabitants were always looking forward to new blood, mostly because they liked to play pranks on them. So, when Doyle came in and snatched the list from his hand, he wasn't at all surprised.

"Lemme see who the new fish are this term," Doyle said after he strolled in and plopped down on the couch next to his landlord and best friend. He pored over the names eagerly.

"Sure, go ahead," Angel snorted, "Not like I was reading that."

"You already know who's on the list. You chose ‘em anyway. Not like you need to see it," Doyle said, pointing to the last name on the list, "Hey, I thought you said you hated this Riley Finn guy. Why're you lettin' him in?"

"Keep your friends close and your enemies closer," Angel said, reciting the old proverb, "I want to know what he's up to as much as possible. With him under my roof, it'll be easier to keep an eye on him."

"Angel," Doyle said, sighing loudly, "The lass told you to stay outta her business. If you think killin' the boy in his sleep is gonna get you anywhere, you're headin' for disappointment."

"He's the one who wants to live here," Angel hissed, "He can move in at his own risk."

"Everyone wants to live here. It's no secret this is the ultimate bachelor pad in this town. Besides, he doesn't know you're plottin' to steal his girl," Doyle objected.

"I don't care what he knows and what he doesn't know," Angel said, pulling himself to his feet, "I dare that fucker to hit her while he's living under my roof."

"Angel…"

"If he does, he'll be hanging from it!"

***

Abused
Part Two

FEEDBACK: THANK YOU to everyone who gave me such fantastic feedback and encouraged me to continue! I really appreciate it. Please keep me going by letting me know what you thought of this second part.

LYRICS: All lyrics are from Everclear

RATING: NC-17

***

i know i'm close to the fall
i know i'm dangerous
i'm afraid i'm going down

"You think I'm fucking stupid?" Riley demanded. He crossed the room in three long strides and grabbed hold of Buffy's upper arm, squeezing her tightly.

"Let me go," she shouted back. She could already feel the bruise forming when she yanked the limb away from him, determined not to have her other arm aching as well.

"Is he your knight in shining armor, Buff? Do you really think that he's going to take you away from me?" he asked, moving forward until she was backed against a tower of boxes containing his things, "Well, guess what? I'm moving in with him today. I'd like to see you cheat on me with us both in the same house!"

"You can't," Buffy croaked in horror, eyes widening. When Xander mentioned Angel's popular housing situation, she never guessed that Riley would try to move in. She swallowed harshly and struggled not to panic.

"But I am," Riley said, "and if you tell him about us, if you try to leave me...I'm sure there's a lot of ways to get rid of him and it'll be all your fault."

"No!" Buffy screamed, tears squeezing out of her eyes, "Riley, please. I told you I'd stay with you. I will. You already threatened Willow, now Angel? He hasn't touched me, I swear."

"I love you, Buffy," he said, sounding scarily sincere, "I can't let you leave me. I'll do whatever I have to do to make sure you stay with me."

"You don't love me, Riley," she protested, "You're sick. You need help. I know you don't want to hurt anyone, not even me."

She waited for the pain that would come with his strike of frustration, but he shook his head slowly and looked down at her. Groaning in pain from hurting her, he pulled her against him, crushing her in his embrace.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, "I won't hurt anyone. It'll be better, Buffy. I won't ever hit you again. Just promise you'll stay."

"I told you I would," she muffled against his shoulder, "but Riley, you have to try harder. I can't live like this."

"I love you," he whispered, tugging her toward his bed, which was bare, the blankets and sheets having already been packed, "I'll show you. You'll never want to leave me again."

"I don't think you should move in with Angel, Riley," Buffy said, stopping him before they reached the bed, "I think it's a bad idea. What's wrong with living here? You like this house."

"You are cheating on me with him, aren't you?" he demanded, anger returning to his eyes with a force that made her wonder if it ever really left.

"No," she shouted vehemently, "I told you! We're just friends, that's all."

"Then why are you so afraid of me living with him, huh? You think I'm going to find out about what's really going on? I've seen the way he looks at you, like you're his personal whore!"

"No, no," she blubbered, trying to pry herself from his grip, "Just friends."

"Yeah, I bet," he snorted, tossing her to the bed, "Did you sleep with him? I bet he wants to protect you from me! I can't wait to see how brave your precious Angel is when his guts are on the outside."

"Stop it!" she screamed, "What the hell is wrong with you? You promised me a minute ago that you wouldn't hurt anyone!"

"That was before I knew you'd spread for that freak," he said, glaring at her through those cold, ice blue eyes. Pressing her against the mattress, she squeezed her eyes shut and choked back the bile that rose in her throat as she felt her shirt rip away.

***

i am awful sure that this thing ain't no accident

"I won't take much of your time," Angel said, facing the crowded room of his new and old housemates, "For those of you who are new, I'll go over the rules quickly and let you go on your way."

He looked around the room at all the new and old faces intermixed. A few of them were his friends and a few he didn't so much care for, but there was only one person he hated with a burning passion. Riley Finn was standing at the back of the room, glaring at Angel as openly as Angel glared back. No one in the room missed the open animosity between the two, but no one except for Doyle and Gunn really knew why.

"This is my house. I make the rules. You follow them or you move out," Angel said simply, "The first and most important rule is no one, for any reason, should ever be in my room. I have given my whole house over to all of you and that is my personal space. Stay out of it. If I find you in my room, I will kick you out of here, no questions asked. I occasionally have female companions-"

"Occasionally," one guy snorted in protest.

"Yeah, whatever, Angel," another called out.

"Room's like a revolving door," a third added.

"However you want to put it, guys," Angel said, chuckling, "I don't need one of you walking in on one of my naked visitors, so stay out. If the building is on fire and the choice is to go into my room or let me die, you'd better think about what you're going to wear to my funeral.

"Second, we party a lot here. Every one has different tastes and schedules. All I ask is that you don't get in so much trouble that the police are banging down my door. I've gone this far without having to have any special permits for all my boarders and I'd like to keep it that way.

"Third, I hire students to clean the house, to garden and several other odds and ends. Do NOT fuck with them. If I find out you are harassing them in any way, sexually or otherwise, I'm gonna get pissed off. I don't care if you date them, flirt with them or screw them senseless, but if you abuse them or pick on them we're gonna have words. The same goes for my visitors and everyone else's," Angel said, taking a moment to glare at Riley to make sure his point made it across.

"If you have a problem with someone, if someone's eating your food, stealing your stuff, calling your little sister names…don't come to me. I don't care. I'm not your mother, I'm your landlord. Anyone have questions?"

"Good," Angel said after a moment of silence, making sure he glared at Riley once more before continuing, "If you have any questions about anything and you don't want to ask me about it, see Doyle or Gunn. If you lock yourself out of your rooms, they can help you. And guys, I really suggest you keep your doors locked for a while. If all your shit gets stolen it is not my problem."

Angel made eye contact with Doyle and Gunn and fought the urge to smile. He loved the first couple of months when his new guys moved in. It took a while to learn the ropes and things were crazy. He couldn't count on both hands the number of guys who had gone to sleep safely in their beds and woke up in a stark empty room. As he headed up the stairs, he heard one of the new guys ask, "Is he really that much of an asshole?"

"You don't know the half of it, mate," Doyle answered with a laugh. Angel smiled broadly and went to his room. He hoped Riley kept his door unlocked and he woke up in the front lawn.

***

giving in won't stop the noise
spinning wills don't give you choices
take away the spark inside, you take away the shining prize

"Angel," Buffy said quietly, waving him over to the furthest corner of Giles' office the following Monday.

"Is something wrong?" he asked, looking over her suspiciously. He frowned at her, sweeping his eyes over her body in search of the hidden wounds. She shrank at his scrutiny and felt elated by it at the same time. Pausing between the confusion of her concern and her attraction to him, it took several seconds to speak.

"Why did you let Riley move into your house?" she asked, making her irritation clear, "Why are you doing this to me?"

"I'm trying to help you Buffy," Angel said, "I didn't ask him to move in. He applied for a room and I accepted him. He can't hurt you nearly as much if there are a bunch of guys on the same floor."

"You'd be surprised," she drawled, leaning back against the wall and looking up at him, "I want you to stay away from him and stay out of this. I'm not kidding!"

"I know you're not," he said softly, "I wish I could stay out of it, but I can't. I want you to be safe."

"You want me to be safe?" she said, laughing bitterly, "that's funny, Angel. You're making things worse!"

Even though she was backed in a corner with a man as large as her boyfriend towering over her, she didn't feel threatened at all. It was a strange sensation and it made her shiver. She felt, of all things, safe there with him blocking the world from her.

"I care about you," he said, noticing her shiver and backing away a step, "doesn't matter if you don't want me to. I'm not trying to make things worse. I told you I'm going to protect you."

"Yet another thing I don't have a choice about," she snorted, a flicker of anger flashing through her eyes. Angel liked that sight. He liked proof that she was willing to fight back, that she wasn't cowering in a corner with everyone.

"Don't compare me to him, Buffy," he said, keeping his voice low, but firm, "I'm not anything like him. If you were my girl, I'd show you nothing but happiness and pleasure."

"Well, I'm not your girl!"

"I know," he said sadly.

***

she's perfect in a fucked up way

"Operation Kill the Abusive Fucker," Gunn said grinning, "Meeting in session."

"That's Maim the Abusive Fucker," Doyle said, "I'm not killin' anyone…unless I'm drunk and provoked."

"That's easily arranged," Angel said dryly, leaning back in his leather chair. Despite his harsh warnings against entering his suite of rooms, that's where the three of them were sitting. His living quarters were very large and before he started having boarders, he put in a living, room, master bathroom and kitchen so he could live here for days without seeing another person if he didn't want to, "But this is Operation Keep the Abusive Fucker from Hurting Buffy."

"Alright, no killing or maiming unless absolutely necessary," Gunn said with a sigh, "But it will be necessary, won't it?"

"Yes," Angel said, straight faced, "Right now, I need to make sure Buffy isn't hurt. Couple of things need to happen in order for this to run smoothly."

"Out with it," Doyle complained, "I'm missing the pre-party."

"Alright, but you do realize it's Monday, right?" Angel said, shaking his head at his alcoholic friend, "I want you two to make sure no one knows about Riley and Buffy's little problem if at all possible. I don't want her more embarrassed than she already is. But I do want you two to start some rumors for me."

"Like what?" Gunn asked cheerily, "Are they naked rumors?"

"Gunn, you tell one of the guys that I'm in love with her-"

"You are in love with her."

"Doyle," Angel said, ignoring the comment as he turned to his other friend, "You find a different loud mouth and tell him that you overheard Riley threatening to steal as much as he can from everyone in the house before he graduates this year."

"Why do you want me to say that?" Doyle asked in confusion.

"Because I want them to watch him. If they know I'm in love with her and they see Riley hitting her, one of them will tell me," Angel said."I want them all suspicious of him."

***

sometimes i don't understand her
sometimes i don't want to understand her

Xander muttered under his breath when the phone rang and stared at Buffy's changing body language. He would have known that she was talking to Riley even if he couldn't overhear the conversation across the dorm room. Glancing at Willow, he saw her stiffen in much the same way, keeping her eyes on her friend as if she expected Riley to come out of the phone to attack her.

"We're not making any headway, are we?" Xander whispered to Willow, but keeping his eyes on the nervous blonde across the room.

"No," Willow mumbled miserably."There has to be a way to break them up."

"I say we hire a hit man," Xander suggested, not completely in jest. "I mean, they have people that make these things look like accidents."

"Well, at least he's living with Angel now," Willow said, shrugging her shoulders, "Maybe if there are more people around, she'll be safer."

"Like she was at Lowell house?" Xander said raising his voice a little too loudly. Moving back to a whisper, he added, "They all seem to be really good at minding their own business. I don't think she's any better off than she was."

"I...I asked Angel to help her," Willow blurted, running her words together as she explained to her friend about speaking with Angel several weeks before, how he's been watching her and how he got her the job on campus with Professor Giles.

"Hate to be the bad guy here, Will, but has he done anything, but watch her?" he asked angrily, "I mean, I'm glad you went out for reinforcements, but I think he's still stocking up on weapons."

"He won't let her get hurt in his house," Willow said, defending Angel. She too had wondered how he had actually helped so far, but she wouldn't let those thoughts remain for long in her mind. She had to believe that Angel would do something...anything.

"Guys, I have to go," Buffy said, hanging up the phone and turning towards them sadly, "Riley wants to see me."

"Did you tell him you have plans with people who actually care about you?" Xander demanded.

"I'm sorry," Buffy said quietly, "I'll make it up to you, okay?"

***

such a cold blue star with a bright new shine

"Did you forget the bloody time conversion, mate?" Spike asked while yawning through the phone. "It's 2:00 AM here!"

"Like I'd know when you were awake or sleeping anyway," Angel grouched back, "Usually you're still up. Dru wear you out tonight?"

"What do you want, Peaches?" Spike demanded of his stepbrother. He kissed Drusilla's dark head as she moaned lightly in her sleep and snuggled in tighter at his side. It was hard to be angry when his wife was sweetly dreaming there.

"I want you to come back to the states for a while," Angel said after a moment's hesitation. "I need your help...with persuading someone."

"Look, you're going to have to clear up that offer," Spike replied, his voice still groggy. "I've got too many pints in me to take your hints."

"Let me speak your language," Angel added roughly. He knew better than anyone that Spike's only price was money and lots of it. When his father divorced Spike's mother, he took all his money with him. Something that Spike never really got over and Angel suspected he never would. Course, as a bargaining tool, it was a great power to wield, "I'll pay your airfare here and Dru's. Your room is still exactly how you left it. I'll put you back on your allowance for the next year if you come out here and help me."

"You're right, that is my language," Spike said. "Buy the tickets."

***

i think you are blind to the fact that the hand you hold is the hand that holds you down

Buffy walked up to Angel's mansion for the first time that evening after leaving Xander and Willow pissed off at her for breaking plans with them. Again, she wondered how she had gotten into this mess. Just a year ago, she had been happy and free, able to date who she wanted and hang out with her friends when she wanted. Now, she broke plans with them incessantly, hid wounds left and right, and was afraid to go home too often or her mother would know just how bad things were.

Joyce Summers loved Riley. She thought he was the picture perfect boyfriend. On several occasions, she even mentioned that she thought they should get married. There was a thought that made Buffy want to lose her lunch. Even more frightening was the thought that it could be true. How was she going to get away from him anyway? Every time she even thought about moving towards the door, he threatened her life, Willow's, Xander's, his own - anything to keep her there. Some days she thought he would actually do those violent things and other days, she thought he might not. But what if she left him and someone's life was the cost?

Taking a deep breath as she always did before she met with him, she knocked on the door softly as if she didn't want it to be answered. She almost smiled happily, preparing to walk away when it swung open and a tall guy nearly bumped into her.

"Oh sorry," he said, looking down at her, "I was just leaving. Did you knock?"

"Yes," Buffy nodded, "I'm here to see Riley."

"Oh," he said, nodding, "Buffy, right? I'm Gunn."

"Nice to meet you," she said as he stepped back and pushed the door open.

"You too," he said, waving her in, "And in the future, you don't have to knock. No one does. It's never locked, okay?"

"Thanks," Buffy said, hiding her frown. That was horrible news. Now she didn't even have the no-one-answered-the-door excuse. Perfect. Wallowing in the horror that was her boyfriend's new living arrangements, she didn't even think to ask Gunn where Riley could be found in the giant structure. Sighing, heavily, she glanced around and saw Angel walking into the room.

"Buffy," he said softly, looking simultaneously thrilled and saddened to see her.

"Looking for Riley," she said, casting her eyes to the floor. This was so much worse than she thought it would ever be. How had Angel come to mean so much to her in such a short time? Now, the thought of going through Riley's moods and his abuse of her body seemed dirtier, sicker and more anguishing than it ever had before. Living her life was becoming a darker reality every second she stood in his presence. She was ashamed of who she was and what she was doing, that she couldn't escape. And she was drowning in Angel's pity.

"Upstairs," Angel said, jerking his head toward the back of the room, "Second door on the left."

"Thanks," she said, sweeping past him quickly. She nearly froze when she heard him whisper as she passed, "Yell if you need me."

Turning slowly, she moved back toward him and looked into his eyes furiously, "Don't."

"Tell him not to make me," he returned evenly.

"This still isn't your business," she whispered harshly.

"I still don't care."

"I like you, Angel. Please don't make things worse."

"Again, not my decision, love," he said, backing away, "But it can be yours."

Shaking her head, she quickly moved away again, hating herself far more at that moment than she ever hated Riley. She knew it was her decision and at the same time, knew there wasn't one. There was too much to risk...but the way Angel just called her "love" made her think that maybe there could be a way...somehow.

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